Okay, first off, damn... Not only is this story wholly original as far as I can tell, but this is gut wrenching in a way that I've never seen done before. Congratulations on this. Please, by all means keep this up. You've already seen the other reviews about spacing out your paragraphs for new speakers/subjects so I won't go into that nonsense. Overall, I'm impressed, and I can't wait too see where this story goes. I'll be waiting.

Oh my god poor Percy.

This poor guy...

Oh fucking hell. That’s... that’s fucking terrible.
That’s so evil. Y-you know what? Fuck you fates. I don’t care if you’re fuckin... immortal n’ shit. Fuck you. That is fucking... CRUEL, ok? Cruel as shit.

Good job, It’s very unique and different. Keep up the good work and update soon.

Looking good

Great story, suggestion though is that you start starting a new paragraph when a new person starts talking. This'll make the chapters longer, and will make it easier to read.

Good start :)) first chapter was super generic but I really enjoyed the 2nd one

come on dont do guardian