Such a lovely story

Too cute;)

Your Feedback/Grading for Assignment #2

Examiner - Kyrie

Grade - 19.75 (O)

Feedback - "Severus: I loved how you made his appearance a factor in this fic. It was important in a really subtle way, especially his hair. His personality was the same as always – snarky, interrogative, and speaking volumes with his eyes. Yet, I adored the way you were able to show his love for Harry. By doing this, you've been walking the thin line between emphasizing the dislike that he has always had in the canon world. But I feel like you've done well in avoiding any OOCness by emphasizing his normal attitude. You've only toned down the anger, and that is admirable. He still has the strict teacher like quality that he exudes in Hogwarts, but when it comes to Harry, there is a kindness in his eyes that completely match his love for Harry. James: I feel like James is a popular character because of his relationship to Harry, and so, he doesn't need much of a physical description. His personality was on point. You made him seem like every bit of the Marauder that he is. We've always known that he would be a good father figure, but you've added to that by showing his role as husband to Severus. You've made him seem more human by showing his short lasting envy at Severus being called "Mama." I really liked that you brought this up. Harry: Since Harry is a young boy, I found his personality to be very fitting. His actions and thoughts resembled that of a child, which is hard to encompass altogether, to be honest. I love how you've shown the actions that he takes to comfort himself, like clutching onto Severus' hair, etc. I loved the way you were able to show the child's thought process. I don't think I've ever read a James/Severus fic, but for my first fic of that pairing, I really loved it. There are many fics that are family oriented and have to deal with a sick child, but this is the first time I've seen someone pair it with the idea of overindulgence. That made it seem very underused. Overall, this was a very original story. The interactions between the three of them were really good. I loved the way James and Severus interacted, and how Severus was considerate of Harry's pain as he comforted him. This was emphasized by the actions that Harry and Severus made towards each other, and I felt that the physical interaction between the two added a subtle beauty to the fic. The general flow was good. Pacing was perfect. It wasn't either too fast or too slow. The dialogue and prose were neither heavy nor light. The dialogue especially balanced well with the prose, which really highlighted the interactions of the characters and the flow. Well done! The prompt was used in a very obvious fashion. I was able to tell what it was about by the time I finished the fic. It wasn't just slipped in by any means. The prompt made a heavy impact on the fic that really emphasized the bonds between the family and the moral of the story. As many people think of food when it comes to overindulgence, I feel that it isn't as original in that aspect, so I'll take a quarter point out for that. However, it was unique in the way the prompt was used. The plot is detailed enough, so much so that we were able to grasp what was occurring as Severus questioned Harry. We were able to come to the same conclusion even though it wasn't as obvious to us in the beginning. There aren't any plot holes. And the story did feel complete. I absolutely loved this story. You've incorporated just enough humor and family into the fic that makes it seem very "slice of life"-ish. I would definitely recommend this to people, that is for sure. The underlying romance between the two, and the relationship between all three, truly captured my heart. Well done! [James felt a little shocky himself…] - I don't really know what you meant by shocky, but this really caught my attention on the first read. This is only just to let you know, however, so that you can make the edits you need to! That's really all that I can find. So well done! You've kept yourself within the word limit. The school and task are both included in the AN, as well as any trigger warnings."

I loved this! Harry was so cute! :D I'd love to see more of this! :D Hope to read you soon in another one! Kisses!

I've never read a fic with James and Severus together before, but I really enjoyed this one. It's well worth reading and a cute story.

Good one.

sevy be a mama... why not james be a mama

So damn adorable! I love 'Mama' Sev ;)

The only word I have to say...ADORABLE

OMG SO CUTE

Damn, Harry.

You're swearing off cake for life, aren't you?