right...thats just great, some soppy animal story bit there, now i've seen everything. with that kind of finish you just know that we'll be seeing errol again, won't we?

well now lets talk about concussions, why would they go through that entrance? why not just use a port key? he had a hogwarts teacher with him.

right so flitwick just lets the idea daxius wandered off in knockturn alley go, damn thats messd up.

What an elven cat? wtf, how the hell did that happen? eleves are bloody rare enough but an elven cat, oh give me a break.

well at least this chapter was a little longer and something happened.

okay, short'n'dumb, why the hell would flitwick take a student into such a shop, its almost garrantied that a young student will get into trouble with all those dangerous things around.

and what about the staff of asian origins? that would have worked much better.

what just like that? no great fight scene? no blood shead beyond what already was?

man rip off...you'll hear from my lawyer.

and now lets see:

-strange rival

-mutant animal pet

-book of many spells

-chance of impending love interest

now he just needs some outragously over powered magical sword that is of no use to him.

right, so now the poor bastard is getting visions, well with his discount owl and a book of spells our avian hero just needs an annoying love interest to bug him.

right, so he can just do all those spells after just learning his first spell less than an hour or two earlier?

man hope that brat was draco's dad, bastard deserves to get whats coming to him.

and whats with daxious's martial prowess, how good is he?

wtf? the dragons were kept in little alcoves, so just their heads popped out.

and why does he have so much money? is he from some rich wizarding family or something?

i higly doubt the goblins would just let a dragon wonder around, it might start ammassing a horde and then kill off the other dragons.

right, a talking owl, next hes going to have some massive vault full of money and he'll have to fight off a dragon.

Could I be a character?

Name: Jessenia Sun

House: Gryffindor or Ravenclaw

Year: Any from 3rd to 6th

Gender: Female

Hair: Golden-brown, just past shoulders, straight as anything

Eyes: Hazel/Green (They change, OK)

Skin: Pale

Wand: Laurel, 13inches, dragon heartstring

Favourite colour: Wine/Deep reddy-purple

Did I maybe put a bit too much detail?

Sorry if I did. :-D

This is the first HP FanFic I've read that's still at a stage where the author will accept names.

By the way, I think you've got a really good story here. I was reading one of your Star Wars ones earlier (I can't remember which one, though) and that was good, too.

Keep writing! You're good at it!

Hey Daxius!

Thanks for the credits, and this was a nice chapter- wished it was longer though...

Keep writing!

Hey this fanfic is going beautifully and I thank you immensely for emailing me- keep emailing me if you plan another chapter or need help or suggestions.

I already see improvements, more spacing and fabulous grammar, it is going well however it is a bit predictable- show us martial arts Daxius!

Well, a character? Well, in my fanfic I chose people from my school...hehe, I know I shouldn't have but I couldn't help it. If you're observant and observe people's behaviour like I do, it'll make the characters more real, like confident people swagger and bored people slouch and so on.

Keep writing, I really want to know who the theif is!

Great story David! BRAVO!

Sara Thomas - Gryffindor

Love Jenny

this story was the best u should really become a writter when u get older i really enjoyed reading it and hope to read much more stories that u will wrte

1. Errol? Obviously not the same one, but you should have gone with another name.

2. For Cho Chang to have been a year above Harry Potter, she would have to have been born between 9/2/78 and 8/31/79; he was born in 1950, which would make Daxius about 28 when he sired her. That's possible.

3. Is he in China? According to legend, some animals can talk. I can buy the talking owl if there are other elements of Chinese magic; like riding clouds rather than carpets-that one's more Middle Eastern (see "The Thousand and One Nights"). I refer you to books like "Monkey" by David Kherdian or "The Bridge of Birds". For accounts of Daoist and Shaolin training regimens, see "The Wandering Daoist" by Deng Ming-Dao.

4. You never named the Master's friend at the Leaky Cauldron. If Daxius doesn't know the name either, how will he proceed?

5. Surely you've noticed the inconsistency about whether he flew by carpet or broom.

Having said all that-It's a good idea to pursue a story set (a) in a Third World perspective of Hogwarts and (b) in a time when Voldie was rising to power the first time. I'm a major Cho-fic writer myself, and I look forward to your continuing this. I would also like to offer my services as a beta reader, if you wish.

Wow, very nice opening and I'm looking forward to reading your next chapter. However, one thing that can drive away readers is the lack of spacing in your fanfic, as it's not proper grammer. So, whenever a person speaks put it on a different line. Anyway, continue writing and I'll continue to review!