That was dumb as fck. Built it up to the climax when he came back during the Kronos fight, then it all went to sht with the 'violence isnt the answer' bullsht by Hestia and the, 'they lived happily ever after', vibe at the end.

You’ve got a good foundation. However the structure could use some work to help it flow better. The skippy-ness of the writing serves to confuse the reader. If I was you, I’d work on more detail. An example of this would be when Perseus awoke in his tomb. You could’ve gone into more detail about his process of waking up. I’ll something more on the lines of what would’ve been great

“ *Earlier*

A man awoke to complete darkness laying on a hard and uncomfortable surface. He felt a weight on his chest but without any light he was unable to tell what it was. As he was about to resort to walking around blindly his memories came rushing back and he immediately held out his hand palm up and concentrated. A moment later, the room, or tomb as it was now observed to be, lit up due to the fire now present on his palm. Looking down he found his trusty sword (insert name here) sheathed and resting ontop of his ceremonial breastplate made of pure silver. He picked it up and attached the sheath to his belt. He took a moment to admire the elaborate carvings decorating his tomb. They depicted his multiple triumphs against the gods and monsters of many religions around Midgard (he’s Norse from what I understand so it’s Midgard instead of earth). It also showed his many blessings given to him by Norse gods as payment for his services he had done for them. In all, the wall showed his entire life until accepting the role as (insert title here) to protect the world from corrupt gods and goddesses and subsequently being buried here until he was called upon to put an overly cocky religion into its place. It looked like that day had finally arrived for him as he Greeks had finally taken it too far awakening him from his slumber. Opening the rotting wood door that kept his tomb sealed from looters he got his first breath of greasy air in centuries, “This is going to be a fun day” the immortal (insert title here) whispered before he was enveloped in a bright flash that quickly faded to reveal air in the place the man had just stood”

So much more detail and I’d hope, much more enjoyable to read. It also gives background. Not too much as the narrator only gives you a general idea of what’s on the wall. It’s showing us who this man is instead of telling us. Giving us clues to peice together who he is, is so much better as a reader because hearing “I’m Perseus! The immortal protector of (whoever) who’s blessed by (list 6,000 gods here) and has killed (list the billion of monsters here)” in every backstory bores a reader. You need to show us who he is. That’s what makes a good backstory

Same with the hunters scene. Their actions need background and an insult shouldn’t be enough to set them off. You just need more detail my friend. Not trying to be a jerk or anything, just trying to help you grow as a writer. If you have any questions just message me, I should respond :)

this looked good abut was vvery stuped in how it was done

why did you make him forgive them if anything they are worse then all the titans

Love this story man

great job

I really love this story, everything about it really and I am looking forward to seeing where it goes in the future.

You had a small spelling error: "aloud" instead of "allowed" but I won't even hold it against you because this story is just so good. (Besides that I knew what you meant...but I sort of have an eye for spelling errors :P)

nice

This chapter was very well written, I loved it. (I wish I could write this well.)

I couldn’t have imagined this chapter going like this, but i’m glad it did

Love this book keep it up this is superb and the idea, so good haven't seen it around and still making me want more keep up the good work.

Seems the quality of the chapters have increased compared to the first three,can't wait for the next chapter

excellent job

excellent job, I agree with you about Artemis and the Hunt.

Great story, but could you are line breaks, it is really confusing to read this.