This was so cool. It was a proper little adventure mystery (sort of) with him waking up and not knowing what happened and then also the end with him saying he'll come back with people who can help.

I loved Bob. It was adorable how his first thought was always for his wife (which, might I add, is very strange reading because my mum's called Iola and it's not exactly a common name) and even though he's in danger too he's asking for Marius to save her not himself.

I honestly love Elladora too. I love how manic she is and how she gives zero shits about exploiting her own family to get to the top. The line about house elves and now Marius finally having a use I loved. It really put into perspective how little the Wizarding World thinks of Squibs if he's being compared to a creature raised to be a servant.

I'd love to see this continued with what happens when Marius comes back to rescue everyone so if you ever do continue it let me know.

Great job :)

I enjoyed how you made it wort of dark, and then it was a family affair, and then turned it hopeful at the end, that was a pleasant surprise. The beginning was solid and throughout the work, all your descriptions were fantastic.

I really liked Aunt Elladora was basically a bitch - and poor Bob had no idea. I can picture her perfectly with all of her cosmetics to make her younger and her Cruella Deville stance and how she says darling with such sarcastic sympathy - ah! perfect.

I am surprised his mother did a 180 and promised to help me him after being in the audience. I expected her to show more resistance in changing her mind, but I liked how Marius had such resolve at the end to come back and help everyone. You really made me feel bad for the people that were in the show.

Your idea of the Blacks having a strange "freak show" type of thing going on is an interesting one, though it did raise interesting questions to me at first. The Blacks have always, to me, been a group who want to bury their "embarrassments" as opposed to parading them around for others, even if it makes them money, so I was a little thrown at first. Elladora having done it on her own makes a lot more sense though.

Elladora is very creepy. I really like your characterization of her here. The detail about her using house elf blood to look young was particularly horrifying (and really just gross to think about). I do wonder about her if she promised not to include family and then paraded Marius in front of his mother though...

It was nice seeing Violetta help Marius escape, even if she abandoned him. That has me curious about her as well and hearing more of her story.