Why dam it so much character death

I have to say, it takes a hell of a lot to make me post a comment or review on anything. I’ve read dozens, if not hundreds of fanfictions over the last 15 years and never have I felt compelled to congratulate an author quite as much as I do now. I personally tend to find overly long exposition trying so I’ll cut right to it. Your story was simply amazing. I have never read a fanfiction that drew me so quickly into its world, and then feat of all feats, didn't break me out of it with amateur mistakes like unrealistic character development or world building choices. It was a joy to get lost in your characters and the world they lived and breathed in, for the many Sun Cycles it took me to read it. I normally am irritated at fan fictions that take more than a couple hundred thousand words to tell their stories. Mainly because most authors lack the skill required to have a tale last such a large length of time and still be fresh and meaningful in its prose and plot. You sir, have created a wonderful world that manages to eclipse the original source material in so many ways it’s almost a brand new story altogether. A first in this humble readers opinion. May the seasons pass you by fairly, pools of fish be always within ranging and warm tailwinds be ever under your wings.

Caleb (Carrotfluff)

He can NOT turn back into a human ! Make the spell go wrong and turn astride into a dragon ! A night fury even ! NIGHTFURYS ALL THE WAY !

Wow! Faustian bargain, indeed! Now I get it. Good first volume! I did not expect that ending at all, took me completely by surprise.
Now I'm really looking forward to an eventual happy reunion. Good luck, Hiccup and Toothless!

Ah, this chapter. I’ve already reread this several times. And for good reason.

This chapter is great for several reasons. If you’ve never read this story before and didn’t read the description(like how I first read this story), this chapter completely floors you. It’s Hiccup and Toothless back in a way you probably didn’t imagine. It works incredibly well due to the previous chapter’s subtle setup and foreshadowing.

Hiccup is a great character in the Cannon, and he’s just as good here. His witty sarcasm fits any scenario. Most of what he’s saying and thinking are mostly setup in this chapter, so there’s not a whole ton to comment on, but seeing him in the story again is a very warming aspect of this chapter.

Toothless is in great form here. When you’ve read this story enough, you notice the subtle difference in how the furies and humans talk, and I’m not talking about how words like human are replaced with two-leg. It’s a pretty subtle change, so people who read through it quickly might not notice it. Toothless thinks in a much simpler, streamlined way. For example, Hiccup’s immediately calls his first surroundings “himself and everything that was not himself” while Toothless refers to it as “here and there, this and that.” It’s very subtle, but says a lot about their characters. Hiccup is quick to firmly categorize what he has access to. Toothless also does that, but he goes over it much quicker. Almost like he’s just glancing over the concept as opposed to trying to deeply understand it. That’s good character writing.

It’s a bit weird to me that Toothless is okay with staying in the den of a human he doesn’t fully trust as a hatchling. But that’s a minor thing that can be ignored. Suspension of disbelief and all that. This chapter is a good introduction of the intelligent, protective Toothless.

It’s interesting, when you think of dragons as people, you really begin to notice their more bestial traits. As well as their more intelligent traits.

This is the best chapter so far.

Well, the next chapter beckons!

This chapter starts off a little slower.

Astrid’s POV is alright and helps flesh out her character and her place in this story. But it just doesn’t capture my interest as much as the first two chapters did. I’m wondering if what Astrid discovered here could have somehow been condensed and put into the previous chapter instead. It’s important, but it drags a little. Not bad overall, just less engaging.

When Gobber’s POV started, I was worried it would also be a slow read. But it started to pick up pretty quickly. It was engaging to see Gobber’s perspective on the people in the great hall and his perspective on the dragons. As Gobber is usually a supporting character, seeing him by himself as the leading man for a good third of the chapter was very welcome. It also helps give insight to the Berkian community itself, as Gobber is the most like a standard Nord.

Stoick’s POV is the absolute highlight of this chapter. Seeing him deal with his guilt is a really compelling read. Stoick loved Hiccup so much, and Hiccup was seemingly taken from him at what was supposed to be a turning point. What was supposed to be a great moment. It not only is emotionally heavy, it also makes it seem like Stoick would do anything to get Hiccup back. I mean, everything he’s done everything in this story so far for Hiccup, from taking care of the egg, to helping with making peace with the dragons.

If you can see Stoick’s motivation for the whole of Part 1 from this early on, you did something right. I commend you for your character writing.

This may be the weakest chapter thus far, Stoick’s grief may be the best part so far.

If there was some way to put all of Astrid’s parts in the previous chapter, and making this chapter all about Stoick and Gobber, that may have made it more engaging. But that plan might ruin the pacing if not done correctly.

The next Chapter Beckons!

Memento Mori. An interesting quote choice. Death comes for us all. I usually interpret that to mean that we should live everyday to the fullest since we could die at anytime. But here, it seems the quote is referring to remembering the fallen. Which would mean that the fallen will have a big impact on what the living will do from here on out. Or maybe it’s referring to Stoick remembering Valka’s supposed death.

Speaking of Stoick, let’s talk about him for a second. Stoick’s speech on dragon island is interesting. In some parts, it almost seems like Stoick is saying some things that he needs to hear instead of just what the village needs to hear. It also seems that Stoick is portrayed very realistically when it comes to being a grieving parent. With Hiccup supposedly being taken away before his prime, he seems to be feeling a loss of purpose. As seen in the second movie and the shows, Stoick puts a lot of faith and makes a lot of plans for Hiccup. Hiccup is one of Stoick’s main motivations. Here, he doesn’t immediately know what his purpose is. And adding the fact that he feels responsible for it and the fact that Valka died in a similar way? Memento Mori Indeed. Well done on the complex yet relatable portrayal.

While Astrid’s character isn’t the most interesting part of this chapter, her emotional introduction was done very well. Shown as someone who analyzes and understands how to go about doing something, as shown in combat or in dealing with dragons, the most interesting part of her character is her lack of a goal, now that being a weapon against dragons is no longer viable. Which is hinted at as early as this chapter. Very good foreshadowing.

Seeing Gothi in control of the situation is always welcome. It’s good to know that not just the main characters have a brain in their head. It’s also good to see a problem solved with smarts and logic.

Snotlout showing his care for Hiccup was also nice and appropriate in this situation.

Also that scene of Astrid’s parents feeding Stormfly is adorable.

The next chapter beckons!

Hello Toothlessgolfer. My name is Daniel Shermer. You wrote(and this is not an exaggeration) my favorite piece of literature I have ever read. And I would like to review every chapter as I reread this story.

Seeing Hiccup black out really does make it seem like he’s dying. That combined with the next chapter had convinced me that Hiccup had truly died, and whatever Toothless was trying to do was just an unsuccessful heroic sacrifice. Well done on the surprising mini-plot twist.

The way Toothless was trying so hard to protect and save Hiccup really helps show and solidify just how important Hiccup is to him, and gives an idea on how Hiccup will influence Toothless’s actions in the future of the story.

Stoick’s thoughts are the highlight of this chapter. They do an absolutely fantastic job letting the readers know exactly what, how, and why he’s thinking what he’s thinking. And seeing his reaction to Hiccup dying really gives us insight to his character that we’d never normally get. And it’s written completely believably.

That’s another highlight in this story overall, the way you adapt the source material. Making the saying “lightning and death itself” a legend based on the Night Fury’s special ability that no one understands is just masterful. It utilizes Chekhov’s Gun perfectly, helping the audience immediately resonate with the turn of events.

And the way you write the characters is just as good. As you did with Stoick in this chapter, you have written these characters in a way that very few “fanfictions” can achieve. Instead of essentially making a slightly different character by making some tiny adjustments to fit the story, you’ve written these characters so that in the reader’s head, they ARE the characters, not just someone’s version of that character. And that only helps to increase the immersion of the reader.

Gobber is utilized well here. While nothing in the chapter needed Gobber to progress the plot, his somber attitude helps set the mood of the story, as well as showing off Gobber’s ability to be wise and mature, while also simultaneously making him more relatable.

Another thing I have to point out is the imagery. It’s top tier here. The lightning bolt and the Monster’s gory explosion were well described. I really thought those were cool scenes when I read them. The injuries Toothless and Hiccup sustained were a bit unclear, but that actually helped add to the confusion and worry in the free fall scene. And it’s shown you can do good injury description based on Stoick’s creaking joints.

I don’t plan on only singing your praises, I do plan on pointing out any issues I find, but this chapter seemed pretty flawless. All I can say is that the first couple of lines didn’t immediately hook me in, but after getting to the second paragraph, I was already interested in seeing where this was going to go. So my harshest critique for this chapter is that the introduction is only almost as good as everything else thus far.

Can’t wait to read the rest of this story!

Why is it a Faustian bargain? Is Stoick's soul in danger from making a deal with a witch? Is it really dark magic he is getting entangled into? Or is Stoick just perceiving it to be a Faustian bargain but considering it worth the price for the sake of his son?

Just want to say that I am very much enjoying this story! It's an interesting idea, very well thought out and written, and excellent character development. The chapter quotes are also wonderful and well chosen - I mean, Viktor Frankl /and/ Jordan Peterson! Obviously, you're a very smart man with superb taste! ;)

Will keep reading and review at the end, but when I saw the Peterson quote I just had to say something.

Thanks for sharing this story with us!

I don't know where to start. I stumbled upon this by accident and it sure is no bad story, but it's a bit... Bland. It is very original at first, two night furies, one egg, that's something I never read before! But after that Hiccup and Toothless grow up, do nothing, stuff on Berk happens, Astrid goes away, comes back, beserker war happens, Stoick goes mad, but it all seems to be... Not connected. It's more like several stories in a row that do build on one another, but forget they existed.

Hiccup fleeing Berk to find Toothless is an amazing ending though, I didn't expect the wizards to be just good diggers until she mentioned he did bring Toothless to her. Then I strongly started to suspect things. All in all its well written, but try to connect it more. Much love.

Finished the story and just...wow! Definelty has been a 10/10 read with a lot of plot twizts!

...Dagur is gonna be in charge isn't he.
I love Dagur and the arc he had in RTTE but, at this time, he's sort of not a good person.

Just finished Volume II- It's just amazing! Was not expecting a few of the things that happened.
Also just a tip for the future stories maybe you have already done this i'm not really sure but it would really help if it said whos perspective the story was following :)

Well I am a bit late to this.

This story is my favorite httyd one, I loved everything, the world building, the characters, the plot and especially the musical chapters (would love to see more for those).

In total a 9.5/10

-Hugo