Beautiful! I love exploring Xanxus’ character and the Varia!

On my third read through. Happy Birthday Florrie!

Absolutely lovely. *extra kudos*

Do you do translations for the Australian? As a Scottish woman with her own slang, I have no idea what she said.

Found this looking for “Parenting is not a Varia Quality” on you page and was intrigued. May I say, you are still the master of ocs? Very cool so far.

damn, just, damn, that bit about murder being petty and hiring out being trash.
and the returning the Varia to sabotaur roots.
you could be a scary, scary person of you are so inclined.

absolutely love the bit about swans

cool

This is such a lovely fic!

I love how you characterize Xanxus. And Florrie really worked for me as a character, her general mix of patience and vulnerability and intolerance to bullshit made her a really authentic feeling soundboard for Xanxus's everything. Nice one.

Florrie is boring. She's to much like a Mary Sue. She doesn't really seem to struggle or have any ambitions, for some reason she knows everything? That's just annoying. Being smart is great but she's just kinda... obnoxious because she seems to always know everything and everyone just instantly loves her. Smart people can sound really dumb irl, no one gets everything right all the time and she shouldn't either. She's just not realistic. I know that may sound like a silly bit of criticism for a fanfic based in a very over the top anime but the characters in khr are a lot more real and genuinely loveable than she is. Probably cause they have flaws and goals, there are things that make them really mad and sometimes they get mean or they just act really dumb and silly. They mess up, they get embarrassed, they just seem real. Florrie is so boring I forget about her the moment she's not in a scene. And you CAN make "boring" characters realistic and entertaining for the reader but that's clearly not what your intentions were with her. You need to work on creating more realistic OCs to improve your work, that's your main problem. Also making her somehow perfectly fit in with the varia and have these ideas that really don't seem to suit her character feels like really lazy writing like you really did just want her to be perfect in the eyes of every character but none of it feels natural, in fact while reading that scene it felt very forced and kinda made me cringe cause it's a good idea but again.. you made a Mary Sue and those are really boring, disappointing characters. You're a good writer but you really should try to work on writing more realistic original characters and less description is cool too... I know that parts kinda personal preference but for me at least you make your descriptions so long I get so bored. I wanna read the important stuff not every bit of info you found on Wikipedia. Sorry if this is harsh I just really like the idea of this story and think you could become a great writer if you improve in some areas

My my. Stairs of Sand Shikamaru approves of Xanxus' costume.

And the Gothic fae are so much more entertaining than all the sanitised stuff the Edwardians/Victorians marketed and Disney latched onto. Fae are not meant to be helpful little cherubs, they are Fallen Angels/Eldritch Entities/Manifestations of Nature that you Do Not Fuck With. Much like Xanxus.

Does that make Florrie the Morrigan then? Three faces of Motherly Care, Sage Wisdom and Youthful Energy with a side-salad of Murder Your Weak-Ass?

whoo hoo!

yay very excited!

YESSSSS!