Reviews for The Crystal Shinobi
FoxHero007 chapter 1 . 10/7/2019
can't wait for more plz update soon
Onyxkiba chapter 1 . 9/6/2019
oh this is SOOOO awesome! I cant wait for more!
Las piedras chapter 1 . 8/29/2019
La historia es prometedora y espero una actualización.
Cylon One chapter 1 . 8/8/2019
This is awesome.
Naruto and Gaara both taken in as family to the Maheswarans.
Being older brothers to Connie.
I really hope continuation is still intended for this.
I so want to read more.
Discordedshados chapter 1 . 8/6/2019
Wonderful hook of an intro chapter
Eagerly anticipating more
Lauren Thorn chapter 1 . 7/20/2019
At some point, Naruto and Gaara could access Shukaku (Ichibi) and Kurama's (Kyuubi) powers, or take their forms :3
stuck Fetish central chapter 1 . 9/19/2018
please tell me this will continue, I love it so far.
Rosecato chapter 1 . 8/15/2018
I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER :V
I'm like Connie right now, waiting waiting omgomg, I neeeeeed some more of this amazement in my life.
This sounds like a really good fiction! I hope I can see more chapters soon :D
TuT I will be waiting
Figglewiggle24 chapter 1 . 7/14/2018
You've got the makings of a strong story here. You've given a glimpse into the relationship between various characters, but is not too much so that the reader feels overwhelmed with information as can happen with a lot of bad fiction (not revealing how Naruto and Gaara are in the Steven Universe world was a solid decision on your part. Just make sure you already know how it occurs before you start placing hints or details throughout future chapters if you choose to do so).

For me, the Valley of the End is always an interesting point to diverge from established Naruto canon as it's relatively early on in Naruto (and Gaara's to a lesser extent) journey and power-scaling, so nice choice in that regard. It'll be interesting to see how their abilities and personalities have developed from that point on, so I'm expecting great things.

If I had any advice to offer it concerns the show/tell balance you have right now. It might've been more insightful to Connie and Naruto's characters at this point in the story had you gone into detail about the things they were discussing on the way back to their home rather than just summing it up in one or two sentences. Obviously this doesn't have to be done with every single discussion between two or more characters otherwise stories would be full of monotonous and pointless conversations. It'll be up to you to decide what interactions are important enough to warrant more detail.

A smaller detail that you may want to consider is dialogue. It's solid for the most part, but it feels somewhat robotic at times. The main example that comes to mind in this first chapter is when Naruto and Connie are discussing how their Mother reacted to what I assume was Naruto's first demonstration of power. Such an event may not require a specific date ('when I was sixteen') given to it if it's so present in the minds of the family. If dialogue you're writing either doesn't feel natural or it feels like theirs too much, don't be afraid to cut it from the chapter. You'll be surprised how effective cutting over-bloated dialogue is.

Overall though I think this is a great first chapter and it's got me interested. Looking forward to the next one!
creative original username chapter 1 . 7/8/2018
DEAR GOD.

This is actually pretty good. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Vince8121 chapter 1 . 6/25/2018
Can't wait for the next chapter
Soulfire47 chapter 1 . 5/25/2018
Certainly a great and unique start as far as I'm aware, can't wait to see what will develop from it.
Just a stray thought... am I the only one who is eagerly anticipating the eventuality of someone comparing Gara's sand manipulation to that desert pillow, or Lapis and her waterbending?
Oh the possibilities! Mini-Shukaku form Gara being mistaken for a gem monster, gems seeing the sand armor after it takes a good hit, full sized Biju forms fighting side by side with giant fusions, Naruto's Ōtsutsuki heritage allowing him to survive in space or other gem-only environments... my imagination is running wild, feel free to use any of these without a need to ask.
BeeTD chapter 1 . 5/24/2018
I need more juice!
PinkiePieParty122894 chapter 1 . 5/22/2018
I love this fanfic! Oh who are you going to pair Naruto and Gaara with?
Jewlbunny chapter 1 . 5/20/2018
I like it so far. It's enjoyable and it shows you put some thought into it. Hoping to read more soon.
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