pleasee updateee

It was very good I get excited to see what direction this fic tomato will take your time vote longer chapters even if they take longer

This Narcissa is fun to read as is the toad being put in her place

I knew a break would
Come
Sooner or later but didn’t expect a Hufflepuff one too

Why did harry buy firebolts broom with their name engraved on it... So if any player left the game.. Will he buy broom for the new comer too...? He should hve donated to gyffindors quadithich team in general... Like how malfoy did... So that the coming new players can use the brooms too...
Harry knew Ron is quadithich fan... He could hve bought him a autographed cannon team poster... After a all Ron was is first and best friend... Instead of showing attitude...

It’s interesting you put Tracy and roger as siblings in this story when they have different last names

Umbirdge called harry a liar on his face... No one questioned her.. Why?... A common ministry worker calling a lord... A Liar... Harry didn't even get angry...
And...
Did harry stopped the fund from his vault to go to Sirus or peter... Which was said in his parents will... Since one is betrayer and other died...
Giving a 13yr old a time tunner was really really stupid... I didn't understand the logic in cannon HP too... So u did right...
Hope u get time to update soon...

Eagerly waiting for ur next update...

Good use of andromeda Cyrus
And the portrait Dorea

So, it seems we are going for a political arc in this one and that's okay; I've always enjoyed those fics. How will you handle it, remains to be seen.

So far we've seen only the introduction of the main players, sides, and the various reactions to Harry's early lordship. Nothing to comment there, you've handled it well, and I applaud to your decision not to bash Weasleys.

The only problem I can see so far is the sheer number of side characters you mention. I mean, it's not a problem per se, but it might become a nuisance to juggle with so many characters in the future, follow all of the sub-plots, and keep including them in the story. Good luck with that.

On the technical side of the story, the flow is engaging enough, and it isn't a chore to read your chapters. There are some abrupt switches between the scenes, but as long as you get your point across, and don't ruin the structure of the chapters it's fine.

I won't comment on language since English isn't my first language and I feel I'm not an adequate candidate to do so, but I understood everything you've wanted to say so far so it's not a problem.

I kinda feel like you miss some finesse to correctly demonstrate the powerplays and subtlety of the political stage

I have only one complaints why when harry said he is better than umbridge u made it look like he sounded whinny, if saying the fact makes him whinny then why make him politically powerful lord potter and heir black and with his fame he is the most powerful politically next to only dumbledor. When malfoy and umbridge behaves like they are better than others, they don't sound whinny but when harry does he sounds whinny wow talk about hypocrisy. So harry will take everyone's shit even when he has more political power than them but if he show them their place he becomes whinny so it is ok as long as he takes their shits. Also how about umbridge yet again accused harry about lying and got away by ministry interference and harry didn't say anything. It was pretty stupid

Well harry not being friends with longbottom and granger anymore itself makes this ff worth reading. 99.99 has harry being friends with longbottom and granger infact longbottom replaced Ron now as Harry's best friend along with granger in those ff and it is frankly boring to read neither granger nor longbottom are any interesting character infact both of them are annoying and boring as a character.

What is Narcissa up to? Wow. Update soon.

Interesting. Awaiting more.

I'm confused about about hermiones rant in this chapter she's muggleborn but what about the muggle house of lords is she completely oblivious to her own countrys parliment? of course the muggles have a house of commons but really?

Pretty sure it's Roger Davies and Tracy Davis and they are in no way related.