An F in Gender is plain old silly

Sorry, but from sheer logic Mary is absolutely right. Richard is a terrible father.

Wow

I love the suspense, next chapter please~

This has inspired me to write. Amazing story

You might wanna change the parents' names. They were officially stated to be Daniel and Mary.

Update, please.

I don't think they'd have to work that hard. Just bring it up at a meeting in city hall.

1000 a week is 52,000 a year. That does not reflect either of their jobs. Both make over a 100,000 a year, at least.

You know what's funny? There's an upcoming ep called "The Parents" where Nicole will reunite with her parents.

Ah parents. They mean well, but can kinda suck at expressing their love for their kid.

I sense bad things coming

I've got to say, that this story does have potential.
The idea that Nicole's parents return and try to get her to breack
up with Richard is one, that I haven't seen here before and therefor it
is at least an original idea.
However, there a few drawbacks.
First of all: It is too short and too pale.
Your writing style has not much depth to it, which causes the chapter
to be quiet flat in terms of it's authenticity and building a bond to the reader.
This is literature. Here you can describe everthing in it's finest details and give
things a depth that movies and TV shows cannot achieve. Use this as good
as you can. Not only is something like this better to read, it also makes your
stories longer.
Second: Your dialog ends too often with the word 'said'.
This might not be that much of a deal, but it is one of
these small things, that can be easily be fixed and have huge
positive effect.
'Nicole said'
'Gumball said'
'Richard said'
Instead of using the same words over and over again, try to change
it up a little and expand it a little futher. Just as said in my first point.
It's literature, use it.
Lastly is how you described Nicoles parents. I understand that you tried to make
them look somewhat successful (eventhough I'm sure that only 1,000$ for
a doctor and an lawyer is way to little in the US. I don't know if you forgot to add another
zero) but just simply telling the reader what their salary is, is not a very good way to show
it of. It should be made clear through things that only such people can affort.
Like having their own driver like you did, is a good start.

Well those were my thoughts and criticism on your first chapter. I hope that I
could give you a few tips to improve your story, or maybe future ones.

WTF?

Finally! A story with an intriguing premise. Too bad it’s just bleh.

“The Other side” presents itself as a story about Nicole’s parents finally returning into her life after all these lives, only to try and take her family away from—no idea how that would fair in real life, but if a gay person can be committed to a gay reform camp because his Christian family would disowned him (check out “Boy Erased”), then anything is possible.

I do appreciate that this was trying to emulate the comedic atmosphere the show has, considering its world.

However, it’s bland and tame as hell. It feels like a cheap carbon copy of something with more spice in its style and approach.

The dialogue and pacing do move along to develop and establish these characters, but it doesn’t really give a reason why we didn’t just start off with Nicole encountering her parents? It would have already given a better reason why we would be engaged, as well as the plot, character, and pacing move along together without using one of these elements as a crutch instead of a tool.

It feels wasted, with the writing being nothing special (and missing a helluva lot of periods and redundant said-ism that are amateurish). It just feels like transcript with no flair or anything objectively good about it.

Overall, “The Other side” has a decent premise and starts off decently, but doesn’t seem to stand out apart from other stories with its bland writing and tone-deaf execution. 4/10.