Please finish!

*opens story *winces

Oh dear.

First of all, paragraphing. New paragraph every time there's a new speaker. Those unwieldy blocks of text are a serious turn off.

Second of all, proofreading. Do it. Just because any old so-and-so can post their work on here for free is no excuse to be lazy.

Third of all, flyed? Flyed!? Just no.

Please continue, it's amazing

I like your fic, i will wait the next chapter