Can't wait til the 4th!

A nice sendoff to a story that will be reborn. A boy who does not want to be a soldier, and a wizard fox with an agenda, interesting. Zolkir forgot to mention that Amy is due for a child. The fact that assassination is already on the table is unnerving, yet it shows how much they are afraid of the whole "bringer of day" prophesy. Zolkir seems to be the only adult there despite being a child. Nice of skyre to say that assassination is a bad move. Tensions must be obscenely high between types if they are this worried over one person. Nice fight scene by the way. Hmm, eating wood chips like potato chips, (shrugs) makes sense.

Music:
Earth, Wind & Fire - September
PMD2 - Temporal Spire (REMASTERED, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon 2 Remastering Project)

Keep up the stellar work, have a wonderful day, and wish you luck on the rewrite! (U)

Why does this have to be so interesting?

I'm looking toward to the rewrite! And maybe you should keep only quickly skim over a chapter? Because there as only one mistake that I noticed in this entire chapter.

You uh...
You misspelled "sea".

I'll be taking my leave, now.

Joshy, my friend! A pleasure to see this peach (pecha?) of a story getting some fresh activity - and with the promise of more to come!

Fantastic work on your plot, as usual. The structure of this story is clearly both intricate and deliberate, and its honestly super impressive. I was particularly thrilled in this chapter by the way you let the plot twists and events generate their own excitement. A lot of people, including me, have an unfortunate tendency to force excitement by saying 'Hey this is exciting, be excited'. You, on the other hand, placed things very nicely, and trusted the reader to put two and two together, which always feels more satisfying. You've also improved your pacing, in terms of putting occasional dialog or quick events in to move things along instead of info dumping a bunch of cool, but dense material. I am a huge fan of the tension building here between the north and south, it has a lot of potential.

In terms of areas to improve, I can only really come up with a couple small details. First, you probably don't need to physically describe every Pokemon. Just tell us Frogadier, Rapidash, etc, and we'll get the picture - your audience knows Pokemon pretty well. That should help keep things moving, too. Again, this is a tiny thing, and mostly a style choice.

Also, you don't need to hype up minor reveals. For example, not many Pokemon transform, so readers might think things like 'I get it, it's a Zorua or a Ditto as a spy, tell me which one and let's move on to the why'. You are great at hyping up plot twists, so use that resource wisely and don't bother building suspense for things that ultimately don't make that much difference.

As always, those are just my opinions, food for thought as you embark on version 2 of this marvelous tale. I hope to hear more from you very soon, my friend! Cheers!
-Nano

Can you keep the story the same but a rewrite of how it was meaning the same characters and the same happenstance but it’s written a bit differently.

Disappointment 100.

I was getting into that, I guess I'll just have to follow you to see what happens :/

Take your time.

Hello!

I think you've done a really great job with this story! This story's just amazing. Honestly, the only thing you should be feeling sorry for is making my own stories look terrible by comparison!

While it always is good to fix and correct typos and grammatical mistakes, you shouldn't beat yourself up over them. Almost every one of my favorite (pokemon fanfic) stories that I've ever read had quite the few typos and punctual errors in them, ranging from minute to massive. Yet, when the story itself is good enough, the punctual errors don't really matter that much. And yours definitely fills that role!

My sole complaint would be that yes, the first chapter does need revising. I think you should go into more detail about the human Amy and her life before the crash.

Otherwise, I'd personally think that little revision is needed beyond chapter one. This story is certainly far from being shoddy! I think you certainly have a talent for writing, and I'll be looking forward to any revised edition you put out and finally finding out how Amy's adventure continues!

I understand how you feel but I just wanna say DAMN! if this story isn't good in your opinion(at least that's what I got from your chapter 7 replacement) I can't wait to see the new one is like. Because I thought this was AMAZING. I actually missed my bus stop because of how engrossed I was in your story.

live free,
die hard,
never give up,
and always remember.

~John

while I'm sad that your restarting, it's your decision. The story wasn't all that bad in my opinion, so i'm excised to see you implement your new experiance to make this already great story into an even better one!
just don't burn yourself out, nothing can be absolutely perfect

Would you leave this version up when you redo It?

It's never fun when a fic gets ended, or rebooted, but I'll be waiting for the reboot, whenever it arrives, assuming it does. I have faith in you, and I'll be back when you come back.

Hey, it is Ok to rewrite a story if you are not happy with it. You write a story that makes you feel happy/engaged writing it. I wish you best of luck. Also for your first time writing you did very good, so don't beat yourself up about it.
Music:
Steam Gardens - Super Mario Odyssey

Don't Give Up and Keep At It!

What do you mean your story is bad? :/

Redone is fine. I'm sad though.

I don't tend to review stories very often, I'm more a passive consumer than anything else, but... I'd like to say that I have really enjoyed reading this as far as it got. Even if what you say about your... plans to plan are remotely true, I can tell that the end product will still be great (Even if this is great, too). I'd just like to recommend... dont get yourself too burnt out in planning. I've found that even if it can definitely make a story more coherent, ot can also kill my own enthusiasm for writing. Keep it up, and I hope to hear of the remake at some point in the futuremy ears are forever tuned in your direction.