hmm homura will shit on these guys time stop shooting your gem before you even transformInsta death

im confuse as fck who is the fcking protagonist

Everytime I hear a character laugh despairingly or whatever, I'm gonna take a drink.

Why does this end with 'The End' when the last line was clearly a sequel hook?

I feel weird about the Seattle sister being here. It almost feels like you forgot about her since her last appearance. Heck, if she's not going to do anything more plotwise, then her appearance feels superfluous.
Also, that bit about a key confirming a prison? Edit that out in rewrites, because MY GOD, that is insufferably pretentious!

Clownmuffle Score: 2/10

This story put me off by having moments where it tried to make me feel bad for characters who never really do anything to earn it. Back stories also kind of vague.

Why is Gatineau's death framed as tragic? Screw Gatineau! Gatineau SUCKS!

Weird question, but why does everybody refer to each other by county and city names? Firstly, for the weaker girls I'm pretty sure they wouldn't know the names of the areas they lived, and as you point out, it can be confusing if two girls end up having the same name. Honestly it feels like a cheap way of making awesome sounding names without actually putting in effort.

So THAT'S how Gatineau was beaten by Clownmuffle?! Vague buzzwords, not even an actual explanation? What a letdown.

Why is Madoka so stupid here?

There's something I find weirdly sickening about characters being killed reduced to a countdown. Maybe it's because the original Madoka had this whole message about how life matters and this whole killing spree has just been knocking over characters like they're bowling pins, but it really weakens the impact. With Madoka Magica, I felt each and every death. I cried. Here, all I can say is 'eh'. I don't even know most of the character's names. Heck, when Berwyn is thinking of the girls getting killed, it made me realized just how little the girls were fleshed out. They're cannon fodder just there to die, and not in a meta sort of way. Just murder for murder's sake. And it's empty. It is hollow. And not in a good way.

Oh my God Berwyn's inner monologue is annoying! And kinda untrue, when you think about it. Though knowing you, her beliefs are probably never gonna be questioned by the narrative.

Wait. Why can Hengeswich talk with Madoka and see her? I get her wish was to know God, but would that actually give her the power to see and interact with Madoka? I mean, its' like knowing germs exist, you can know they're there, but that doesn't automatically mean you can perceive or interact with them in any sort of meaningful way. Also, Hengeswich's argument with Madoka felt kinda weak. It just doesn't feel like something that would persuade a celestial Goddess, is all.

Wow. That carrot Bugs Bunny metaphor really took me out of the moment.