This was an interesting story. I enjoyed several parts of it. The fact that you were able to complete it, even with the relatively small amount of attention it got, is something very worthy of praise. That ending is, well, really sad huh. It's quite a horrific ending, to be honest. Takeshi doomed to wander the stars alone for eternity, his lovers abandoned and needing to escape from their home realities themselves.

There were some problems that I felt it had however, and I hope you don't mind if I lay some of them out, with all due respect. I'm not looking to flame, just to provide some healthy criticism.

The ideas you had were grand and interesting. The scale the story got to in the end was really something. However, you have something of a problem leading up to things sometimes. There wasn't much build up or foreshadowing before the world was very suddenly being destroyed. You mentioned being a fan of Dies Irae in your ANs, and I can see some of the influence of that in the late parts of the story. Dies Irae spent a large amount of time building things up to the universe level fight at the end, and I feel you should think a little more on that.

The relationship that Takeshi had with the girls wasn't very... Written out? It feels like a lot of things happened in exposition instead of in dialogue. The girls just one-sidedly started to like him, but it felt somewhat abrupt when thinking that there aren't actually many scenes in the story where everyone sits down and just talks. The scene where Takeshi comforts Saya is probably one of the best in the story.

And that extends beyond just the romance parts. There were places on the story where it felt more like an outline than a set of interconnected scenes. The story advanced a lot in exposition, and there was something of a lack of scenes with dialogue. At the end even, you told how Takeshi and the Demon talked for hours before coming to an accord, but it should've probably been written out. There's a similar conversation at the end of Dies Irae in some ways, between the MC and the antagonist.

There could have just been a bit of breathing room, you know? Some slice of life. That being said, I don't think the story would have necessarily benefited from being longer than it already is, so there's a balance to be struck.

Some characters, like Kyouko and Alice, barely felt necessary for the story at all. Just how many lines of dialogue did Alice have in the entire story? It felt like they only just became relevant at the very end.

I think that more or less covers it. I hope you don't take offense to this long write up. It's not meant as an attack, but just as something to think on to better your writing.

Thank you for having written the story, and for having completed it!

This is a bit much. The scale is too big, it's hard to imagine. Not in a "can't picture it" way necessarily, but in a way harder to state. It's like, suddenly the entire world just ended, like that.

Still, I'm looking forward to what's coming next.

That's some Worm Endbringer stuff right there. Those Titans are pretty terrifying.

If you couldn't love the child, you should've just put him up for adoption. I guess she was worried her family would kill him if she left him. She could've watched over him from afar in that case.

I just can't find any sympathy. Empathy? Probably not that either. I understand, but just because you can understand her actions doesn't make them in any way excusable.

I think that's the last I'll say about her. She's a pathetic woman that doesn't deserve as much emotion as I've given her. I hope she dies and Takeshi simply forgets she ever existed. I wouldn't mind him telling her he doesn't forgive her before she dies though lol.

I dunno, maybe I can only feel this way because she's fictional? It is nevertheless the way I feel though.

Not too shabby a backstory. Still hate Iroha.

The demon is a pretty interesting character. I'm also still pleasantly surprised you weren't afraid to let bad things happen to the group. Poor Porky and Zeke.

Iroha even admits she's a bad mother. And it's even worse than I thought, to be honest. I thought she HAD to act cold towards Takashi to protect him. It would've still been a garbage excuse for multiple reasons, but no. She's just a weak woman who shouldn't have had a child if she couldn't be a proper mother. And the father isn't blameless either, since Takashi doesn't have a particularly healthy relationship with him either. I dunno, she just rubs me really wrong. She's a very unsympathetic character.

First, I just want to say I've been enjoying the story so far. I do like it.

It's amazing how much I loathe this Iroha woman. Does she have any idea of the psychological burden being a "parent" like her puts on a child? It's the kind of thing that messes people up for their entire life. She'll probably justify it with some garbage excuse that she's been protecting him his entire life. That's just not enough. Protecting his life while destroying him emotionally.

I have the oddest feeling that she's gonna be "redeemed" too. She'll give her life for Takashi or something and he'll forgive her for one instance of kindness that somehow invalidates a lifetime of pain. Because "she's still his mom" or some garbage like that. Frankly, there is no thing she could possibly do that would make me not hate her. Save Takashi or his friends' lives, or whatever. If she dies gruesomely I'd probably laugh and clap.

Wow. That was a wild ride all the way through. I'm left speechless. Amazing. This was so beautifully written. Wow. This is a story that will stay with me forever. One day,,my kids must read this. You have done well and created a true masterpiece. Thank you

Wow, now that was an amazing ending.

That was one heck of a deal Takashi made with the demon. He basically gave up everything for the sake of the world. Well, at least he had enough time on Earth to knock up his harem.

Also I never expected Alice to have such a powerful ability that’s seems very reminiscent of something from Highschool DxD, same with Kyouko.

Also I got most of the references when you discribed the worlds the Girls where sent to: ‘Naruto’ ‘Blazer Drive’ and ‘Shinmai Maoh no Testament’, but I can not for the life of me figure out which worlds Rei and Saya went to, I guess i Haven’t seen those Anime. Would you mind telling me what they are I may want to check them out.

Also would you mind telling me what happened to Shido in the new world, I would like to know if he got what was coming to him.

This has been a fantastic story, and I’m a little sad it’s over, but well done. You should be proud of this story. It’s been a blast.

P.S.

While I was reading this last chapter I just happened to be listening to ‘See You Again by Wiz Khalifa’ the ending theme of Furius 7, and it totally fit the nature of this chapter.

So this was essentially a prequel to A God Slaying Wolf?

This was brilliant. I really liked how Takashi was able to find peace with his decision. Though I was surprised that no one really commented on what the merging between Takashi and The Demon would mean. Would the new entity be a fusion of the two or it's own being that would view them as it's parents?

I'm confused on why Alice adopted a Zeke replacement, instead of the actual Zeke. Speaking of Alice her powers were OP and yet it seemed to flow so well it fits.

Lastly I really enjoyed the crossover section at the end with the new realities.

For a next fanfic do a crossover of Jack The Ripper: Hell Blade and Hellsing

I ship Shizuka and Rika

That was pure amazing. Anyone can write a prologue, but a great ending needs a master, and you were more than great at it. It is very sad to see such an amazing fic end, but i can sleep knowing that the ending was better than i had imagined, and in a few months more of your writing will come. Until then, I'll just read your other fics.
The Naruto reference was obvious, and i also knew Absolute Duo and The Testament Of A New Sister Devil, but i don't know the other two.
As i stated, your novel will be great, and you have what it takes to be big, just be patient.
I truly hope that life goes your way, and good luck- not that you need it of course.

So Takashi let the demon take his body over so he could negotiate, did not see that one coming. And the crazy thing is, it seems to be working!

My god I can’t wait to read the next chapter!