If you could please avoid taking shots at us 'Arkos Readers', maybe some more of us would stick around. The constant digging at Jaune for not "moving on" fast or slow enough, or at Pyrrha for having actual feelings or being emotionally manipulated are also real classy.

That said, it was an interesting story with a different premise. Giving the characters actual emotional intelligence. The RWBY writers could take a few notes.

But I've re-read enough "Pyrrha has to die because canon says so, but I'm also going to try and be original about lots of things, just not that" stories before that it kinda lost its luster after a while. The digs at the Pyrrha fans didnt really help, but thanks for not being as outright malicious and toxic as half the fandom about that, I suppose.

Still, if this is gonna be a Lancaster fic, I'm out. That ship skeevs me the hell out, and never sounds like a good idea based on canon. I suppose I could understand why people like it, if they want an unequal relationship where the main heroine can have a partner she doesnt have to treat as an intellectual or emotional equal except once in a blue moon, but at least your version of Ruby is better about that than canon. (Not that the writers give her actual Emotional Intelligence worth a damn)

But what do I know, I'm one of those whiney Arkos Bitches that just RUINS the fandom. (Eyeroll)

While your story isn't my cup o tea, and your authors notes piss me off and make me feel targeted for having an opinion, I can tell you've put a lot of effort into it. Kudos, have a nice life , feel free to rant about this review as though toy give a damn a out other People's opinions.

This story is amazing. Great and I hardly see any problems with how things are going. I feel like though you are making Ozpin a little more evil then what he’s brought out to be. Everything he’s done so far hasn’t been objectively evil but in this its deadright cruel. One of the other things is why does it have to be Ruby x Jaune? I never got that. People always seem to believe if they hug and are best friends it always has to devolve into romance that’s just...no. Ruby has made it kinda clear she’s not interested in romantic relationships really (fuck oscar). Also Yang, Weiss and Especially Blake don’t give a shit about Jaune tbh. Blake’s never spoken to Jaune before, Yang only cares about her hair, her family and her ‘girlfriend’ Blake. Weiss in this story and in Canon doesn’t give the slightest shit about Jaune and if he died nobody would really care besides ruby.

You know, I was thinking about how you redid Blake's arc. And you know how you made a deal of "we're not destroying the White Fang. We're taking it back."? Didn't the show proper establish that was Blake's plan to begin with?

You did good with Yang, I always like it when fanfics make her protectiveness an issue.. I can't never understand that about Jaune being so faithful to a dead woman, so I'm really happy with your take.

Jaune and Yang brought some good points about Raven. The discussion did good as a reminder that by now she's an unknown, and unpredictable for our group of heroes.

That scene with RWBY was Miles better than the reunion in Haven.

Hopefully the details in Hazel's backstory are not as dumb as they sound in canon.

Nice chapter.

I really like how Jaune how approached Yang to apologize for what happen in regards to Raven and even defend Raven. You now I think the best way to describe Jaune's situation (and Oscar's in the show) is that while is isn't responsible for Oz's messes he inherited them.

Speaking of Raven, I can't help but think that what Yang said about Raven to Ruby and Jaune only reinforces Raven's claim that Summer stole her husband and daughter. What Yang said sounds similar to what Summer said in ch 32, which comes dangerous close to outright saying they expected Raven to just suck up three (Summer, Tai, and Oz) very personal betrayals, with Yang's words of comfort to Ruby sounds like she's blaming her for not sucking it up. Also upon further reflection, when Yang started calling Summer Auntie, Summer should have been correcting her and teaching Yang to call her Auntie instead.

Which leads me to my next point, I don't blame Raven for having no intention of helping them. Oz's group has no right to expect any loyalty from her after the destruction of her marriage. Furthermore what right does Yang have to expect her to come to her aid if she's going to outright say that she's glad that she lost Raven if it meant having Ruby. Anyway what could Oz offer from Lionheart's files that would be enough to be a peace offering after what he did to her? The only thing that I can possible think of is that it's something that Raven could use to get the Kingdoms to recognize the Branwen tribe and their territory as a sovereign nation.

Nice touch having Gretchen being part of Oz's inner circle with Oz admitting that he mishandled her situation as badly as he did with Pyrrha and Raven.

Keep up the good work.

I thought that there should have been someone to comfort Yang as she has every right to be livid at Ozpin for taking an active role in destroying her parent's marriage. Also I do hope someone tells tell Tai and Qrow about Ozpin's culpability

Is there any particular reason why Summer didn't tell Tai and/or Qrow that Ozpin did confess to her that he did ruin Raven and Tai's marriage? Also is it safe to assume Julius Arc broke ties with Tai and Summer over what they did to Raven?

You know, I looked up the cave scene you cut out and honestly, I can see why. It seemed at this point RT really wanted Jaune to be the Krillin of RWBY, and for Weiss to be the Vegeta to Ruby's Goku.

While I personally dislike people making Oz more antagonistic (like here), I can get behind it if it's done well. So I'm giving this a chance to grow on me, because so far, you've done a good job till now.

I gotta give it to you, bad Oz is making for a good story (as much as I hate to admit it). While V5 was not my favorite, it had some moments I really liked, but sadly, it didn't give me the team drama I was expecting (Blake was forgiven by Yang too fast, and there was no problem between the sisters), so props to you for making it natural. Jaune can't get a break, Yang has issues with Blake (like she should), and her trying to protect her sister backfiring on her was perfect!

And I really love the one-on-one they got with their friends that weren't their partners (RT could learn a thing or two), it gives a nice insight while developing deeper friendships with our second main team.

I wouldn't mind if Ren and Nora stayed in Mistral (but should Jaune stay?), but if they tag along I wouldn't mind either.

Great chapter!

While I’m not sure if 20-20 is a way to setup things in your Remnant story, I still think the way you’re doing things is pretty enjoyable. Also, the way you’re using JNR shows you know how to do support and you’re taking the steps to avoid character bloat, although if Ren and Nora stay behind in Mistral, given how the show is written, I’m not sure if they could come back or not seeing as how non mains are just shelved after they’re of no use to the plot.

As for the scene with Cinder, I’m getting Qrow/Clover/Tyrian vibes, except this time the fight will be deliberate. Do I have the right hunch? Although from what I’ve seen, to many the scene where Cinder tries to play Raven leaves...a lot to be desired.

Oh? I liked that movie.

Mmmh, "he got over her". I'm sure people don't believe Tai got over her, we just think that while he was emotionally vurnerable, he latched to the one person that was supporting him in those moments of his life. But it doesn't matter, this is cooler.

Raven being a good mother? Incredible.

And damn! I love how more plot-relevant this chapter made Raven! And even the little details that set up the future (like Tyrian, Raven telling Jaune that his father is a hero, etc).

That even hurt me, I really like this Raven.

Poor Jaune.

I gotta be honest dude this chapter seems kinda reaching and I've been with what you're laying down since day one. Even if we accept that ooc Ozpin is evil enough to orchestrate this instead of being a man struggling with a losing war against his warped true love at the behest of petty creator gods, there's still no need for that. The silver eye all come from the children of Ozpin's host while he was inhabiting them thanks to some leftover mojo from the God of Light. Why would he need seduction plots when he can simply have more kids himself. The answer is likely he's Not ok with his family all being prime assassination targets or gene soldiers which is what Salem originally wanted with him when she learned their kids could do magic meaning no family and more detachment from his humanity. Ozpin being callous and secretive and manipulative as he's been burned so many times and had to make so many tough choices in this shadow war is far more compelling than this B tier retcon of him being labelled a child predator/ date rape enabler and Raven not being a bitch who raids peaceful settlements. I would suggest you focus on the troubles that already exist (or should) in lore and expand it rather than invent new ones that have major consequences that end up degrading the moral complexity of a character. If you want Raven to have some light to her perspective perhaps her group only raid those who aren't under their protective services and share the benefit with those who are. Perhaps she watches over Yang frequently and opened a portal for Qrow to save her and Ruby as kids. Instead of just being a useless scum worst mom. Anywho, should you keep this plotline I hope you can temper it well. Good luck friend.

I know that this is whole “Qrow is Ruby‘s dad”, but if Ozpin was into the idea of “breeding soldiers/pawns for his war/chess game with Salem, wouldn’t it make more sense to pair Qrow and Summer? I mean, you got a Silver Eyes and Ozpin’s best fighter plowing and having a kid, those are some good genes. Although, Raven’s line to Summer of “Ozpin will just having you pump out kids” is a nice touch.

Wow... You're actually making Oz really shady, I like it! Constantly thinking about his and Jaune's survival. And I wonder if he really had a hand with Tai's and Summer's Ruby making.

Those Omni-Knights sound really cool, I also like that you brought the previous Atlesian Knight design back (I like the spiky dark armour, with red lights). I love it when stories add stuff that makes things more interesting, and aren't too crazy to be impossible in the show.

P.S: As a Lancaster fan, I hope SSSN are right about these fellow dorks.

Wait, Taiyang cheated on Raven in this one? I'm not sure if I like that. Honestly speaking, I think I prefer the cowardly bitch explanation from canon.

Agreed, I hope Jaune becomes something more than a walking Phoenix Down