really enjoyed this story. is it done. i hope not. ddlc stories that fit my bill are hard to come by.

The squid joke returns! Certainly wasn't expecting that.

I just found this story so I don't know if you found this out already but ToTypeGlitchTextLikeThisis a text generator called Zalgo

Hey, man! First off, thanks for the review on my fic. I really appreciate it (and Eijiro Kirishima would be the character you likened Ran to, by the way). Now, since you asked for feedback, I gave the story a read, and it's not bad so far- but could be improved. You asked about character interactions not related to the main plot and world-building, so let's try to focus on that.

Alright, let's start with world-building. I like to think that to make the world/setting the character is in more "vibrant" and "alive", so to speak, you have to utilize three things, which are conversations (outer dialogue), character feelings (inner dialogue), and the environment (descriptions). The setting and events, in particular, need the third.

See, a thought I had while reading this fic was that some scenes feel "rushed", and tends to suffer from what I call "info dumping", which is tossing in too many details in one go. I'll discuss info dumping later in the review, so let's focus on the "rushed" part first.
You could do with a few more descriptions, in general. Instead of just writing:
"I fed the pugs and went up to my room."
You could try describing the dogs a bit more (though, I have a personal bias for dogs. They're the best pets in the world.), like:
"As I went downstairs to feed the pugs, I could already hear them clamoring about in the kitchen. The moment they heard me pulling out the bag of dog food to feed them, they rushed at me, barking and pawing, their stubby tails wagging. Even when I filled their food bowls, they tried to follow me all the way upstairs, nipping at my heels playfully. To placate them, I bent down and gave them a few pats on the head."
Now, doesn't that feel just a bit more alive?

When it comes to world building for the setting, you can try describing the character's surroundings more. If he spends a lot of time in his room, then he must be very familiar with it at this point; what does it look like? If he enters an area he's not familiar with (i.e, a mall he's never gone to, or a new school), why not give a description of the place according to how the character sees it for the first time?

Moving on to character interactions, this one is a bit tricky. You've already got some "pieces" set up; you just have to utilize them!
Now, you have characters aside from the two main leads, Monika and Draco. Believe me when I say that side or background characters are great crutches to fall back on when you need to make the story feel more genuine. If the side characters and background characters are shown to be just as vibrant as the main characters, it, in turn, leads to the setting as a whole feeling more "alive", and showing that the world does not completely revolve around the two characters.

I'll address info dumping in this section. It's a thing where the writer crams too much detail all in one go, instead of letting those details show gradually through the chapter, or even through the story. You can utilize character interactions to avoid this- let's say your character is hotheaded, and temperamental. Instead of outright saying so, why not have another character mention it, or let it be shown through a certain event? Actions do speak louder than words, as they say.

You can use character interactions for a lot of things, other than moving the plot forward. You already use it for the relationship between the main characters- so, why not extend to everyone else?
Think of it this way. Imagine you're Monika, and there's something Draco's not telling you- but you do know a friend of his that may give more insight about him. Would it make more sense to go to Draco directly after he has declined to tell you, or try to get some information from his friend? These could both move the plot and provide some info about your main character. Just think of it as making casual talk! Think of conversations between you and friends, and channel that. Casual talk is actually something that pretty much writes itself once you get into the mood!

Anyway, I think that's all the writing tips I can give for now. You can hit me up through PM if you want more advice or want to clarify something. Until then, though, thanks for reading!

That's understandable, so don't be too worried. Only assholes will give you a hard time about this. Until the next chapter is ready!

This is a great telling of using your own experience reading other fanfics it's going really well

You swear it wasn't a jab at anyone, yet I still feel it...

ByGlitchboxdoumeanlikethis?

Finally caught up!

Story's going along pretty well, and the Draco x Monika parts of this story are my favorite ones. So I'm glad we got fluff from those two~

Only noticeable error I found was:
[Lauren bursts out laughing. "I don't know what's funnier: Draco being all shy and embarrassed or aggressively you flirt with him! I see Jess, let's go eat."]

I think you meant to type: "I don't know what's funnier: Draco being all shy and embarrased, or how aggresively you flirt with him! I see Jess, let's go eat."

Otherwise, keep up the good work!

oki doki artichoki that was a thing. good enough for a filler chapter. some uhhh... interesting parts that didnt go any farther than they needed to while still getting my mind a going. the introduction of 2 new characters and then they're sudden exit felt a little rushed tbh (tho i liked how lauren had her rejection excuses memorized, at that point just saying no would be nicer). im not going to go all the way and call them unecessary because i dont know the intricate plot structures at work like you do. (i feel like i say something to that effect in everyone of these)

i guess the big questions are whats the plan next chapter and what kind of timeframe are we looking at?

No worries! The Midwest here got hit with sub 0 temperatures as well, school was cancelled for week for us as well.

(_) So I finally caught up on this fic. I'm not going to say I liked these chaps... but I'm also not going to say I didn't. Just so people don't think I'm a perv.

•can't hold in laughter*

Seriously I did enjoy the development of the girls. I actually saw a bit of myself in them when it came to their personal issues. I know how it feels to be in the position of being the object of ridicule or to delve into something harmful(albeit not as bad as cutting). It's great to be able to see yourself in a character and resonate with them on a personal level.

You did good homie, though you don't need me to tell you that.
Not much else to say. Cya!

Also to add: I LOVE monikas dominant side. alot.

Oh. meh. gosh. I ship it! I love your detailed writing so much! How much you explain every characters thoughts and actions and it's so descriptive (especially at the lemon writing cough cough) I love it! Keep up the good work.I can do Fanart for you: I ain't Picasso or Matisse but I'm good at it, email if ya want. 13 ))
Anyways looking foward SO MUCH for the next chapter... CIAO!
(w)

Okay, so I'm really loving this. Everyone is helping the Dokis as much as possible. Can I just mention how much I love Ibby and CiCi? They're my favorite characters so far.
The part where Bea talks to Shadow actually still has tears in my eyes. It was too heartfelt for my friggin soul man. The tone and the flow with that part really got me crying. You weren't kidding when you said you were happy with this chap huh?
I gotta give you props on this one, you got me way too emotionally attached to the characters. I'm gonna go get some tissues now, seeya.