I love these two chapters so far! :) Well, I do have to agree that they feel more like a prologue split in half, but that doesn't really bother me, since this is quality writing. I really like the idea of Qui-Gon using another lightsaber fighting style instead of relying on Ataru. It seems like a simple solution, but what with Maul's arrogance, I'm not surprised it worked. - Besides, Qui-Gon is a Jedi Master, after all and known for thinking outside the box, even among his order. I'm hooked, and curious to see where this will go!

pretty good so far. good writing. I understand this might be a prologue but longer chapters in the future I hope

Good but this is "prologue part two" essentially.

Curious to see where you go with this...I'll be waitin' for the next chapter. Great writing and description.

Hey again! Great installment. I've got two notes for you, though.

First, a structural thought. This installment feels more like a Prologue, Part 2 than its own chapter. Therefore, you might find it more effective to separate your Title Crawl from your Prologue, combine your Chapter One and this chapter into more of a Naboo Invasion Wrap-Up Prologue, and then have your story proper, the AU you're constructing, begin Chapter One.

Second, on brevity. Don't get me wrong, here. I enjoy your writing. But there are moments, I find, when your prose might benefit from the removal of a few words. For example, "She continued to explain breathlessly" can be cut, since the next dialogue makes that quite clear. Another example could be the removal of "in the future" from the last lines. Your use of "could be" implies looking to the future, and so the aforementioned line is not necessary. There are others items like that, word choices that are more clutter, and being aware of those in your editing will make your final product more effective.

Otherwise, like I said, great installment. I'm excited to see quite how the narrative changes. - C.S.

Great start! Looks like it's going to be interesting. Looking forward to more!

Good job! This is an effective beginning to what I’m sure will be an excellent story. Given the brevity of this chapter, I cannot make a truly educated commentary on your style, but I would suggest, moving forward, do not be afraid to dig a little deeper into your characters. A surface-level play-by-play works for this fight scene, but the best stories are based more in Why than in What. I look forward to seeing what you do with this!

Does Qui-Gon train Ani now?

Thanks!

good start!