I really enjoyed Voyage of the Dawn Treader for the simple fact it explored characters' (namely Edmund and Lucy's) deepest fears and desires. The Dark Island scene was one of my favorites. I think Edmund had a good handle on his guilt, but the White Witch's reappearance undid what he had worked at for years: self-forgiveness. A conversation with Aslan was just what he needed, and the Lion gave him the consolation no one else could. However, I was a bit confused by the line, "He [Aslan] should have let me die on the Stone Table." I thought Edmund never found out about that - but I haven't read the books in years so I might be wrong. Great dialogue between those two! I share Aslan's mentality; there is no use worrying about a past you cannot change.

There were a few misplaced commas and some wordiness (For example, "Edmund felt like storm clouds were hanging over him, casting a shadow of doubt over him." I feel the second "over him" can be omitted. Also, the second sentence in the first paragraph was a bit awkward to read, and the repetition of the word "face" was a bit cumbersome). Reaccount should be recount. Hate to sound nitpicky (my grammar isn't perfect either), but these were a few things that jumped out at me.

Loved the last words, "his burden lifted and overcome by a new peace." So true! I really felt Edmund's relief after Aslan granted him absolution.

Great job!