I really like this story, though it would be cool if he went to star wars verse and became a son of one of the Jedi, then also went to the stargate verse and became a son of one of the ancients.

Also I can totally see Hadrian I refuse to call him Harry that's a stupid name but I can see him be the Son of Miya from sekirei and Gellert haha

Pretty amusing no solid plot but makes sense and here I was hoping for Harry to become Dark Lord Hadrian and declare war on Muggles I mean who cares he can just leave if he wants haha I'd be a super Dark Lord also

I really like this story. It's an excellent read and I look forward to reading what happens in your next chapter.

I can't read this. It's so confusing. .

It's more poorly written than my first fan fiction that I wrote, what, 16 years ago now? xD

I was 15, yeah? I'm guessing you were around that age when you started this?

Please update this story is so good and can't wait to see what happens next

I still like the story, hope you'll continue with it

interesting idea dimension jumper love this and hope this does go to the finish. Know you focused on other stories and that fine

I really like this story. It's an excellent read and I look forward to reading what happens in your next chapter.

Rwby, I’m guessing?

Hey,
I gave this story (well the first chapter) an honest chance by reading the entire first chapter but.. There are so many mistakes. Places where comma's should be. Sentences with vital words missing. Did you even reread and review this chapter yourself? You mentioned at the end that it is a rewritten version of an original story. But if it is... I'm honestly afraid to see the original version. Now, I'm not the kind of guy to just give critics without offering ways to improve yourself. So here's my first bit of advice, learn how to learn comma's and other vital parts in a story. Using comma's is important to issues short pauses and to sum things up.

Secondly... I don't know if this is true, but if you're from a different country and English isn't your first language, do not translate DIRECTLY! It doesn't work that way. You don't use your own language's grammar and switch it to English. Now, if you ARE from an English speaking country and it is your first language... Well, shame on you. There are at LEAST a handful of sentences that have words missing and I can't believe that a native English speaker would miss it.

Thirdly... I've got the feeling you rushed the whole thing. Using parts of other stories you liked, but without putting much THOUGHT into it.

Now, this is a relatively new story, both in its publish date and in its update date, so if you're willing, I would be willing to help you. I love exchanging idea's and brainstorming in general.

Kingdark

update pleeeeeeease!

gostei muito dessa fic, continue ela por favor.

Love it amazing work love to read more updates

Sonic