of course you dropped this like a hot potato.

it's not like the concept was interesting or anything.

Please continue this is so entertaining, I love it when Kaya joins the crew. Also the shenanigans with luffy have me rollig about with laughter

Don't know if this story is dead or not, but I don't want to get my hopes up and leave a long review, since it has been almost a year and this story remains untouched. If it is ever updated I'll be back, if not, oh well. I've seen this happen thousands of times on this site.

Liking this so far and I hope you continue it kaya being actually sick and joining both from loneliness and to find a cure is an interesting way to do it so I find it believable and merry dieing seems like it should have happened in canon since youre inspired by nine minutes I hope you dont take luffy's fruit or if you do that he stays without or at least doesn't get a logia for crew members I hope all the origial end up joining then we get to pairings luffy harem I like because hes the kind to not understand monogamy and hes a pirate captain so fuck the rules zoro I hope theres tashigi interaction but she doesnt join the crew unless you can find a really good reason for her to quit or kuina if shes still alive sanji I think should get some action maybe nojiko or conis? But for pairing I hope for pudding or possibly viola usopp with kaya obviously nami and robin with luffy franky square sisters? Chopper mink? And unfortunately I cant see any love for brook apart from that one idea I had was ace and luffy get in the paper together and sabo remembers early from seeing that anyway hope you decide to update this story eventually

I always saw it as Kuro poisoning her. That way when she died "accidentally" it would be an easy sell.

great start so far I hope that you give luffy two devil fruits like enels rumble to go with the gum gum fruit cause we know that it can be done because of blackbeard and the rubber fruit conteracts the lightning so luffy doesn't die

Love the story, i hope we get lots of misadventures with ussopp and kya

please update soon

I am always a biggest hater of kaya joining the crew, even though in your story kaya's explanation is reasonable, she is getting accepted by luffy is not. she is completely worthless in fighting and protecting herself. every single crew always had some form of training from their childhood. she just can't become proficient enough in one or two years to protect her in future danger they are going to face. That means other crew have to protect her. and she will be the of the crew. And so kaya who could have easily lead a normal life in her island will not just put herself in the life risk, she is going to put others on the life risk.
secondly kaya has no purpose in the pirate world, loneliness is not a reason enough unless she has a love for usopp it won't make sense. so if in future I find out that the only purpose of this chapter was to include kaya in luffy's harem, it would be very disappointing. I hope not to see angsty melodrama from her, when she will think about putting everyone in danger for her sake.

I highly appreciate the initiative you have taken in this story. Only problem in the canon is the lack of realistic death scenarios, I always want to read more serious story about one piece. If you are going to follow the idea of serpentguy's epic nine minutes, I am hoping to see luffy killing oppositions.
Your writing ability is very good. I really find the flavor of reading a mature story. I just wished there was no romance between crewmates and no harem. but sadly, I know it is going to be harem.
if you chose to give luffy a new df. I hope you chose anything but a logia. Logia fruits are more less all have similar capability and no awestrucking fighting move don't normally come from them. And then it makes the character too OP and the user does not fight in more personal manner. I mean luffy is trained into hand to hand combat. if he get a logia fruit, there will be wastage of his combat training. like think about ace, kuzan, akainu, kizaru, enel they just use their natural element in different ways but very less hand to hand combat.
So I hope luffy gets a paramecia which will enhance his already trained muscle memories. and utilize his experience that he earned till now.

Excellent first chapter.

Oh my goodness this has such a good start! Please update soon!

I like it. Good start, and has potential to become a great story and maybe an epic like serpentguy's Nine Minutes. (Damn shame the author cancelled it, though.)

I only have one request to make: Please don't over-complicate the harem. They aren't my cup of tea, but I can handle it if it's done realistically and doesn't involve the MC banging every damn female characters they come across. And I also hope you keep Kaya with Usopp, instead of Luffy. They're probably the cutest (non-official) couple in the show.

Looking forward for what comes next, mate. Take as long as you need.

You better don't turn Kaya into one of Luffy harem.
She is already in love with Usopp and it better that way.

Not bad start, this is gonna be interesting, i'm curious which characters will be part of the crew, there are many worthy candidates other than Kaya.

- Gin (if you allow him to survive the MH5)
- Nojiko
- Johnny & Yosaku
- Alvida (if she doesn't remain with Buggy)
- Miss Goldenweek (if she get captured by the Straw Hats)
- Wiper
- Paulie
- Perona (if Kuma doesn't teleport her to Dracula's home)
- Monet (if she doesn't get killed)
- Bellamy (after the time skip, since he was too big of an asshole at Jaya)

The only ones i'm not sure if it would be possible to add are Ace, Vivi & Carue and Mr. 2/Bentham due of their importance in the storyline past and future.

As Bantham need to be sacrifice himself for Luffy to escape Impel Down, Vivi will take part of the very soon Reverie and Ace need to die for became a motivation for Luffy to became stronger.

that was good 1 chapter .. i hope in luffy harem is nico robin is the best and am big fan of luffy x robin ..
looking forward to more ..