sequel? cant wait to hear more from u!

hello? sequel?

minny?!

damn already interesting

Not true. When a god has a changed domain said god has new powers, as does his demigod children, and since there is ichor in the demigods, the power of said god will be transferred over to him.

Omg! Your story is amazing. Hope you come up with the sequel soon.

Stalking the 11 Deaths is my job

So is a sequel is gonna go up?

ALSO, WHAT IS UP WITH ALL OF THE ISRAELI REFERENCES? Love it, but why?

This is a great story! And I can't wait for the sequel. One thing that dit bother me was that mercy was too powerful, yes I get that he has to be powerful and even if he isn't that powerful as we all think, the illusion and mystery perch created makes him look stronger to his oponents. But for the reader it becomes dull fast. It's like he jumps in someone's home threatens them and leaves as if nothing happened. That every chapter, becomes a little unbelievable And boring after a while. So try to put more effort in every scene and to make them as different as possible that would help a lot. Makes the chapters longer and makes the immersion better for the reader. Don't be afraid to go into detail and to experiment, let your creativity flow.

Something that I missed a little was some character development. What a lot of writers utilise is two sort of story lines, a main story and a side story. The main story is primarily used to further the plot while the side story is used to develop the characters further. Of course the main story has some character development in it and the side story has it's own story line but the focus is on something entirely different. If you have no idea how to utilise this side story, then there are a few 'easy' things you can do.
1)you can use the past of the main character (percy) with different side characters. (zeus, Poseidon, Athens, Artemis, nyx,...) second you can use dreams that have either flashbacks(I don't really like flashbacks hard to tell a story through that) or have dreams where the characters would act as themselves but the situation they are in never happened) in the dream scenario you can tell for every character a different story and let them act as normal but it is hard to know where a lot of their motives to do things come from because we ha e no background.
Or you can think of an entirely new way to do something like this. But one of the best and easiest ways is to use the past so we get the backstory of the characters. And don't be afraid to make this long, this never ends with one chapter, this is a story that runs next to the main story and through the whole story.

If the pairing is not decided yet defenaitly go pertemis (percyXartemis) goes in this scenario very well!

Because it's late for me I don't have the time to write a new idea for the story (which i normally do in my reviews) but send me a pm and I'll give you a great idea about what can happen next, to not only develop the story but also the characters.

Home you had something from this review, pm me if you need ideas or want to discuss something.
-DarkGamer

This was a fantastic read well done

Weeell... Okay... This is pretty interesting. I like it! Lookin' forward to the sequel. :)

This is actually pretty good. Can’t wait to see what comes next

For me, it is crazy how well thought out this story is. I'm only on the fourth chapter, but this is incredible.

this is a mess... the story is sloppy.

Pls post a sequel to this amazing fic. It's too valuable to go without a sequel.