I don’t see the point in this story. Harry is just a useless tag along who doesn’t offer anything. You’ve turned Eragon into a Gary-Sue. You’ve completely changed every character into being out of character(OOC). I feel like I’m reading bullet points mashed together. It’s as if parts of the books were taken out and mashed together to make a smaller book. Hell, the trip to the elves seemed to only take one day at most, when in the books it took several weeks. If this story continues, then it would be best if you rewrote it but took some time to decide on what you story you wanted to tell. In less than one second, Eragon somehow became a super powerful dragon rider that knows everything the other riders did. Don’t do this. If you do, then make Eragon struggle to earn the knowledge. We want to see him grow as a person. That’s the best part of a story.

In regards to the guest reviews, I’m scared of what they think is a bad story, because this is not a great story. It has an interesting plot and I’d like to see where it can go, but it needs a lot of work.

Just remember to keep trying. You won’t become a great writer overnight. You need to stumble and fall in order to learn how to get better. Listen to what those of us have said about what needs to be done to make the story better. It’s nice to see a review saying the story is perfect but those reviews are useless in the end. They provide nothing in regards to telling a better story. We need to see the surroundings. We need to feel what the character is feeling. When someone close to them dies, we need to feel that pain and agony. When they accomplish their task, we need to feel excitement and happiness for them and look back on the journey they took and remember how things started. I hope this review helps you on your journey to being a better writer.

*not all frogs were toads but all toads were frogs*

Yeah I noticed that, Darkmankryl.

Those guest reviews looks like it was written by the same person but under a different pseudonym names. The sentence structure, grammar and punctuation is consistent which is very telling.

In regards, to the latest chapters of this story. Eragon has effectively become a Gary-Sue, after downloading the mind of a Lord Rider. It's too easy and cliche. All of the sudden, he is commanding elves, creating portals, waving his hands without any spells or incantations (which is very dangerous in the Inheritance Cycle Universe) and doing magic that is similar to Harry Potter magic which is not a normal inclusion of a story typically set in the Inheritance Cycle. It diminishes Harry's usefulness in this story if Eragon can practically replicate all kinds of Magic that Harry can with his unique branch of magic. Frankly, it's like Eragon and Harry have swapped bodies which is perplexing to say the least.

Seriously though, what is the point of this story?

From what I can tell from the last few chapters, is Eragon can wave his hand and destroy Galbatorix in a heartbeat with the mind download he got as a Lord Rider. Harry doesn't even need to be in this story with the fact that Eragon can almost replicate any HP magic, silently and wandlessly. And it was a big mistake to bring Hermione into it as well. It detracts from the center role of Harry and doesn't really provide any tension or suspense with the fact that if Eragon can bring someone into this dimension, then he can send Harry back to his dimension, his home.

This will be my last review because I am not a fan of the direction of the story but don't be discouraged. I am sure some people will enjoy it. Good luck.

I'am of the same mind as Rantingbanshee

I also see that those who are saying it is good are never logged on the website 90% of the time when the story is meh given the fact that you can type any name when logged off, i think the same person usually try to raise the number of review to make is story appear good

Try to make use of Harry or remove it and make the story 100% Eragon

Good so far! Keep it up!

There aren’t many things I don’t like about this. The story telling is great and the characters are fun

I think this is a great story! I love how Eragon is going to become a powerful leader instead of the always beaten and bartered warrior

I think this story is pretty good overall, romance needs a little work but overall it’s really not bad. I like that Eragon is actually strong and is going to raise his own army, very original

the romance is absolute shit. I'm not even sorry about this. it's twilight levels of romance except made for kids

Is there a point to this crossover?

Harry has emerged into a new world and he's not making one ounce of difference. It's also rather convenient that Harry's wand is "missing". As is the fact that he is still a fourth year student with a serious lack of Hogwart's magical education and only knows a few dozen spells at the most.

Stick to one perspective, either Harry's or Eragon's depending on who the main character is in this story. In this case, we the readers know future events of the Inheritance Cycle so it's best to stick to Harry's perspective since he is the outsider, who is 'meant' to make a difference. That is the whole point of a crossover, to change canon to the point that it becomes a new story by introducing an unknown quantity or entity and interjecting into the story to change the outcome.

With Harry's lack of magical education being only a fourth year student, with no wand and a serious lack of mind defenses or mental barriers (occlumency), he is at a severe disadvantage. The only way to bridge this is if Harry learns how to do wandless magic which his type of magic, that should remain unique to him, while also learning the native magic of this new world. Best of both worlds so to speak. One other thing that could bridge the gap, is if blood oath ceremony also turns Harry as well as Eragon into a Human-Elf hybrid that gives him their strength and endurance.

At this point in time, this crossover is kinda pointless when you put the main character as disadvantaged as possible in any story I have seen to date.

Nice, a bit quicker than imagined, and Ajihad didn't die, which is interesting, and a big deviation from canon, looking forward for the next one.

I have to be honest, I dont really understand a lot of the choices you've made in regards to this story. Eragon's story hasnt really been impacted at all by making it a crossover. The battle went the same, his interactions with the Twins has been the same, and his injury has been the same. Frankly, I found myself skipping any part without Harry because everything else felt like I was just rereading the book Eragon again. The only thing you changed was Ajihad living after the Urgal ambush, and Harry wasnt even a part of that. Writing a fanfic is supposed to be you telling your own story. I just dont feel like you've made your own story so much as repeating the Eragon book. As for Harry, whats his narrative purpose? He made no impact on the battle, hes right out of the graveyard already traumatized by Cedric and gets thrown into a battle where he has to kill? Why have him there at all? Why this young version whos really going to be more of a hinderance than a help? Is his purpose to learn the Eragon version of magic and go back to Hogwarts? Become a dragon rider himself? It just feels like hes there...to be there, but no real reason. Maybe because you are unsure yourself?

Interesting read, I always love a good xOver of HP and Inheritance, i'm curious to what you'll do with the differences between Harry's magic and Alagaesia's magic, and if you explain why your characters are so OoC, not that I'm complaining, but i'm curious. I also hoped you'd give Harry a bit more impact in this battle. Looking forward to the next one.

I thought this chapter was great! The fighting was intense and it was of good length.

I really enjoyed this story so far! Keep up the good work! I hope you get Harry involved more.