Too childish and rushed.

okay why did Jaune just let them take him back?

this would have made more sense for him to start his own family line.

eitherway it ws mostly enjoyable and thank you

while I am following and I like the premise, the combat doesn't fully make sense.

in canon, Ren Solo'd a King Tajitsu without his weapons and just an aura strike.

why would the teams struggle against two of them?

also the waay you built Jaune's new style is completely dependant on dust and not actually building alot of skill. Sure Weiss corrected some forms but you don't see any difference other than he michael bays the grimm with elemental explosions lol.

anyways I've been enjoying this thus far and tht was the only somewhat negative things I think could be improved.

Honestly, in my honest opinion, Jaune should’ve rejected the offer instead. He could’ve accepted the apologies but he should’ve accepted what happened and moved on. Other than that, still a nice story.

Should have refused the undisowning, they didn't want him weak, they don't deserve him strong. And yes jaune, you are in for it. Great storh, will we see a sequel

Sweet

Kind of an abrupt ending but still a satisfying one. Story had potential but I’m assuming you hit a wall. Great work! Hope you have more stories brewing in your noggin. Can’t wait to see what else you write

Thank you for introducing Jaune's mother. I am glad she feels _something_ isn't right with Nicholas's treating Jaune. Though, maybe I just do not understand why breaking a family rule automatically entails disownment, as opposed to punishment and the chance to make amends; it seems Jaune did not understand either, or at least was not informed.

I am not saying the rules need to be changed, but it does seem there is some miscommunication in the family. I do not know if it would make sense given the story's tone, but some forgiveness among the family might eventually be nice.

I look forward to the next chapter.

Nice to see some backstory, and some great development between Weiss and Jaune

that... that is the reason they FREAKING DISOWNED HIM?! WHAT A LOAD OF BULLSHIT! it didn't occur to them that maybe had they actually trained him and allowed him to pursue his dream he wouldn't had the NEED to stole Crocea Mors in the FIRST FUCKING PLACE?!, you know i truly wish this is brought up next chapter i wanna see Jaune angry at them heck make him HATE them for not even telling him in the first place and make him tell them to SHOVE THEIR FUCKING RULES UP THEIR SELF-RIGHTEOUS ASSES!, seriously what did they think would happen after denying him the chance to follow his dream yet giving that SAME chance to his sisters? even giving the family heirloom to one of them OVER him?, dude i like your story i wouldn't be here if i didn't but please PLEASE acknowledge this before the end of this story it was bad enough that Jaune didn't fight back against them at the beginning please let him fight back NOW at least.

As Jaune, if I was angry at Nicholas, I would have yelled at him that I would carve him up and eat his flesh, and do just that, then after tell him how does it feel, feels like something is eating away at you, because it literally is, unlike how he has figuratively left me (Jaune) to be stuck with emotikns that had been figuratively eating away at him destroying my being... but eh, that is how I would have had Jaune snap, maybe, I don’t know, i this could an omake to how Jaune snapped and attack his father with rage. There could be many kinds of omake, since these are all scenarios, all fanfictions/stories are just branches off of what happens in the world, or in this case the world of RWBY, these stories is like the string theory with there being an infinite amount of universes and parallel universes that can be very similar to very much different, etcetera.

Sad thing is, Nicholas Arc being a pathetic bully makes more sense than you'd think. It certainly explains why Jaune just bent over and took anything Cardin did to him until he targeted his teammates.

Solid chapter. Keep up the good work please

Glad he whooped tha head.

This is insulting to read and to Jaune's character. Take it from someone that actually had an abusive father and fought back at Jaune's age; there's no way that Jaune would just take those insults without standing up for himself, there's no way that Jaune would just give up Crocea Mors without fighting back considering how much Jaune wants to achieve his dream. I also find it insulting that his new weapon is an exact replica of his old weapon; I understand that his fighting style is sword and shield but making it look Identical to his old weapon makes losing it pointless.

Also why is Weiss the one training him you made clear that his fighting style is a big deal so why have Weiss train him who has a complete different fighting style to him( rapier style fencing) it still should be pyrrha training him who has the same style as him but of course shipping take priority over logic right? Are we also going to skip the whole cheating his way into beacon thing because glynda, ozpin and his friends apparently don't give a shit; there's no fucking consequences in this story that it's Irritating.

The dialogue is also barebones, clunky and awful that it feels like a child wrote it. I suggest you reboot this and actually learn how to right more descriptively because it's hard to Imagine the settings, the characters, their actions and feelings if you don't actively described them in detail.

You also don't know shit about abusive parents Jaune's dad just seems like a stereotypical bully: how about you actually explain and show what happened instead of Jaune just telling Weiss "He never once believed in me". Ever heard of show don't tell?

I really wanted to like this I really did but there were too many problems I had with it, the basic and non descriptive writing, the dialogue being clunky, the lack of consequences of Jaune faking his transcripts and Jaune's parents stupid reasons for disowning him. All he did was take his family's sword, ran away and fake his transcripts to get into beacon because his father refused to train him; he didn't do any of this to them out of spite or malicious intent, no he did this all to achieve his dream of being a hero.

Want my advice reboot it and start again; you have a good explanation for Jaune lack of training and combat skills, in fact in canon Jaune talks fondly of his mother and sisters but never once talks about his father so you might be on to something with this.