Please update soon

Dur iDk mC sMErt

Nice to see the story back up

just found this story
and i love it hope you countine

tbh, i enjoyed your story, the story is original enough to offer new pesprective in the already growing RWBY fandom. i also see that you have inspiration from “the devil pixie of renmant.” as both of the become a war professor, but i like that you take a more diplomatic approach toward the character rather than Tanya militaristic teaching. keep up the good work

Was anyone else getting flashbacks from mw2 from when Ghost ,and Roach die?

Yo! Keep this up I loving this story so far!

Whoa. Now this is one heck of a novel idea that I’m interested in. I'll admit, I always thought about writing something that goes along the lines of this, rather than the standard SI protagonist going as one man with Ozpin's side (or maybe not, but the idea of only being a lone wolf/small team). But hell, your own armed forces at your disposal? Seems kind of logical, in a way, haha.

And I have a lot of questions and comments. I'll address them, but first off, so far, regarding the writing itself - I’d say maybe it has some pacing issues (sudden jump from RL Earth to Remnant is a bit jarring but perhaps ala Youjo Senki you intend to do it in media res). If not though then I’ve got to wonder how it went from him dying to him in the middle of a meeting with Ozpin.

And if I may add, this seems like the story I needed, in a long, long time. I like this new, fresh idea for your usual OC insert from Earth.

On a side note, I’m currently serving my National Service, so if you have an army related questions or on some ideas on tactics, ask away (note that I didn't say strategy haha, that's way above my pay grade). You seem to know your stuff, but I’d be happy to help anyway. I know some fanfic writers who tend to ruin immersion by not knowing proper military regimentation and discipline and tactics. PM me if you'd like to ask about this, I’m more than happy to help (Note: I'm going outfield soon, so I’ll probably be uncontactable for about a week)

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Some points I wanted to bring up/comment on and make some suggestions. Prepare for a text wall:

1) Liking the idea of a PMC, and you get that you can't take on a kingdom, but well...I’d assume even with you taking those pushed out from the Valean army, you'd still suffer from manpower shortages. For my country, which does suffer from having low manpower compared to it's neighbours, we combat this by having automation and using technology to try stem the problem, and it does work, but well, it's not perfect. Perhaps you could reflect this in a way; maybe you have robots serving as part of your PMC to make up for a potential lack of manpower, (if you decide to implement this idea haha, maybe you've planned it all out already). Looking realistically there's no way your PMC could rival Atlas's military - by manpower alone, for instance.

2) I see you have some of Earth's weapons (e.g. you mentioned having an F-14). Now while I’m okay with the idea of you having them, it seems unrealistic that you could alone build them. Maybe you have it planned out again, with your PMC having some engineers (like a mini-nation, in a way) making it. But still, that can be quite difficult with you having no blueprints at all, and I doubt you’re that specialised in engineering (Militaries have all kinds of different vocations to supplement each other).

Maybe a solution (one that I always thought of when writing my SI/OC insert drafts were to have you acquire/steal/make an Artificial Intelligence to assist you. Maybe you could make it in your story that you took one from Atlas (Dr. Polendina) and extensively modified it (using your organisation to get experts to help you), making it a bit more human, but mainly to modify it to a huge strategic and logistics AI (with some scientific research on the side). Hell, it could have helped you fabricate the designs for those Earth weapons.
Also could relate to point 1 in your way of dealing with manpower shortages/having low manpower

That AI could also serve as a companion in a way, someone who knows your secrets (Origin from Earth, RWBY [If it's a thing on your Earth you wrote] so your OC can talk to it).

- Adding onto point 2, if you have such things, consider satellites? Maybe it's not a possible engineering feat with your resources you have, or would give too much exposure for your liking (basically Salem looks your way even more), but my god, having a satellite network, or a satellite weapon would be truly terrifying for anyone to hear.

Or to even more extremes, you could incorporate Earth and Remnant tech to make your own space warship, (going this route would probably mean not having any satellites) only one ship, and certainly not a battleship/carrier (maybe more of a humble Frigate sized warship) that acts as a mobile command centre. And my god, orbital strikes, again. But well, it'd be OP as hell, so you need a good counter (e.g. collateral damage maybe, and painting the biggest target on your back?)

Or maybe simply, have a few (and very few, rocket launches are expensive after all) spy satellites if you want to keep it mild (lol, relatively)

3) Having both Faunus and Humans in your PMC is a pretty strong advantage. Now, while it does sound pragmatic and ruthless, this could allow for propaganda campaigns against the White Fang and to dissuade other Faunus from joining the WF. (Now it's not perfect once again, those in the White Fang would probably see it as propaganda anyway)

4) Loving the idea of you using an island for your own HQ. If you mind me asking, which island is it?

5) Youjo Senki being incorporated into this? My god, yes! I personally liked that anime and well, while I see it not being a main element, I did like elements like Being X interfering with Tanya. Could it happen in this story as well? All I ask is that you don't forget about this. Also, crazy psycho loli. I see that you don't intend to implement that with your OC, but well, I can forsee ruthless pragmatism if necessary, or being brutal if it means victory. I did enjoy those elements from Youjo Senki.

6) Since your OC comes from Earth, is RWBY a thing there? If he's seen it (I'm serving my National Service in the army and I’m a fan of it haha, so it's not in the realm of impossibility for military folks to see it), it could be huge in terms of how it affects your story. This is more of another comment, really.

7) With you being the CEO/commander of your own army, well, I can tell you that even in militaries high-ranking CO's usually have their own PA's/Adjutants to assist them. Maybe you could have your own PA/Adjutant (e.g. Youjo Senki and how Tanya had Serebryakov as her adjutant)

8) Regarding the sudden jump in pacing, well...like Youjo Senki, maybe a backstory would be nice. Where he got the money from, for instance. I liked how you addressed where you got your men serving you from. Some backstory of how you rose the ranks, how it started. I do like the trope of how one rises from nothing. And it would bolster your story well, covering the plot holes haha.

9) Man I’d be hella interested to know of what equipment your PMC uses. I see you having made F-14's and such so maybe I can forsee different weapons (Advanced Earth-like weapons, maybe?). It could make a minor difference in portraying the trope of having different weapons, for instance ( /Main/CosmeticallyDifferentSides) perhaps an omake/sides of sorts to implement a codex describing this?
The big thing I think about is the uniform you'd issue. I could see you issuing something like modern-day uniforms on top of Earth battle equipment that could be upgraded by using combination of Remnant's resources and tech.

And yes, I know that Remnant is not fully superior in tech to Earth, it's more of that each side has different technological advantages to each other.

10) Adding onto being hella interested into what equipment you have, my god I’d kill for an idea of what your battle tactics you have. Or maybe what units you have. Like in place of the Atlesian Paladin you have robotic units like XCOM's 2's ADVENT MECs. Or having something like B1 battle droids (counterparts to Atlesian knights), and maybe they could be your standard infantry. For instance, they could complement an infantry section (e.g. 75% robotic infantry 25% organic infantry.)

11) Lastly, your OC's name. It's a small point and no, I'm not complaining or anything, it makes sense really, since your OC isn't from Remnant, but it could make for a good, if small, plot point. I could imagine the amount of people thinking “Huh. Interesting/strange name.” since the norm in the RWBY-verse is to have colour related names. ( wiki/Color_Naming_Rule)

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Now there's a lot more I wish to address but with time I think it'd be better for me to address these (if need be) once I see more of this fanfic come out. It's looking awesome so far, all in all, and I’m already following it in anticipation of what comes next!

You have the potential to have a great story here. Be sure to use each of your elements in moderation, don't go crazy, and impress us all! Ultimately take my advice/comments with a pinch of salt; it's your story in the end after all.

Feel free to PM me regarding anything you would like to ask about :D

PS: Holy hell, 1571 words (not including this PS). That’s gotta be my longest review yet.

Been in the RWBY fandom for a while, and I can't recall anything quite like this. I'm just a teenager, so I don't have any military experience, so no criticism on that party, but I did notice that several times there were large blocks of texts that got a little hard to read. This happened especially with Michael's thoughts, and I think a way to counter that would to have it be more of a back and forth, especially when he's debating something, like why Ozpin would call him to his office. This isn't something I'd normally get into, but I'm enjoying it so far. I'll definitely read the next chapter, but in the meanwhile, I'll be looking forward to more great work.