I’m getting some “Meet the Team” vibes here

28 was a solid chapter the twist if syleris was unexpected and tertra's distress is interesting

Ch27 was interesting with the family meet up. I dont see dawn having a solid place in the story. If you work her in that would be good or maybe she goes to stay with the guy who just lost his homestay. Idk but you are the author so i have faith you can pull off something good.

Cheers

Ch 26 was good but I hate seeing jack so powerless I feel sorry for the guy.

This is awesome keep making up story.

Nice fic. And glad Isaac got together with Syleris. They make a cute couple. Stay safe and enjoy writing.

I'm sorry but your mc is the least adaptable and shaky little coward read this far and honestly everything literally everything but your mc is good he freaks out about the stupidest shit like a spaz. don't get me wrong near death experience and all I get that and its an interesting way to develop characters but I've seen little growth in him he is still the same shaky sometimes frothing man child. what you've done with the different races and characters honestly was too notch though absolutely do keep up the good work on those fronts hope to see you branch out more

Good

Well Jack has entered a valley of plenty. Hmmm.

This is such a wholesome and heartwarming story so well written.
I love it so much 3
Publish it as a Book or Manga. I bet the Mon Musume Community would love it!

I love it so far dude! You have awesome writing skills Please write more and share your art with the world!

okay this chapter had one big turn off and would be better off without it the whole mansplaining thing that just was cringy as hell just say condescention as the only people who use that phrase are just trying to put men down and i have never and i mean never heard that word said by anyone and it just broke up the momentum you had going there it just felt unnecessary

Tried to make a profile specifically to comment but the website was a bit unfriendly towards mobile browsers. I love this story. The characters are actual people with varied interests and likes, rather than two dimensional monster girls whose best qualities are their tits. The mc has a lot of issues but as messed up as he is he feels real too. I was so sucked into the story I read up to the current chapter in two days. If you’re a fan of Monmusume but could appreciate a more western and grounded approach to the concept please read this.

The whole sula thing was kinda awkward but it smoothed out by just doubling down with the awkwardness of sulas realization. Good job please keep it up

Awww … I was looking forward to the Sula/Tetra/protagonist work. Moon-madness wasn't a bad explanation there, how was her activity OOC? I mean, she's displayed interest and there's been foreshadowing, exactly how moon-madness seems to work. If you look in the original works, Cerea loses self control, Miia drops any inhibition (not a large stretch, admittedly), and the behavior is given a big lack of screentime, so that any number of OOC actions could take place.

Speaking on the literary portion, maybe next time just delete the offending segment rather than retcon it in the next chapter? It'll make the chapter shorter, but then there's no need to hit the psychological aspect. I'm not sure of the whole 'multiple husbands' aspect, just based on logistics, but if that's the case in your tale, there's not much reason for Sula to shy away from landing another.

Okay, enough fingerpointing and nagging (naga-ing?).

One of the best points you made here though, is the 'you didn't ask what I thought about sharing' statement. It's really rare in this genre; most writers throw in a lot of attractive liminals, then make the protagonist either ignore or embrace the harem aspect in its entirety, no midway. Having a thought process demonstrates a lot of potential.

Also, very much appreciated is the grammar which you use. Its a pleasure to read something, and actually relax into the story's flow rather than skip from one paragraph to another, then back to actually understand what was just said. You have a clean style of writing, that wends through the tale and moves the focus forward.

Lastly, sorry to post 'Guest', I'm on the road and can't log in for some reason. Feel free to delete, and/or PM for clarification if I'm unclear about anything.