Hwut not praetor suit? But praetor suit best suit

Waaaaat DOOM SLAYER Y UN DEMONIO DE ACUERDO EN ALGO!

Not gonna lie, when i thoguht this was cancelled, i felt like crying. Now seeing its gonna be rewritten, feel like crying tears of joy.

On a more serious note, you might be correct. There are some flaws and plot holes to cover. For example: there is the lack of explanation why doomguy and the others are even there in the first place? Why didn't they just kill volt right then and there at the citadel, instead of running away (he's just a normal human). How is Zan and Balth'azar even a part of this world either? Also, why are they wasting time at the palace when they could just be running towards the enemy and stopping them like in literally every doom game ever? I understand world-building and character-developement but these are people who have literally been to hell and back and haven't stopped since, they wouldn't just wait for the enemy.

Another side note is that the early chapters seem to take a little too much inspiration from 'The Night Unfurls', down to the travel to the citadel, the conversations, and the aftermath.

If you want to make the story more realistic thats fine but keep in mind that in the end this is still a crossover between a game about a space marine going to hell and killing demons with a shotgun and a hentai centered around well... hentai (not much logic in this one). Not sure if either was meant to be taken seriously. Not to mention, don't give too much sympathy to the villains because in the origional they were just a bunch of rapists because thats what the story was about. They were made to be one-dimensional. Thats why its so cathartic to see them pummeled in stories like this.

Got it

Well, I think this is where I opt out. If you are going to turn this into a sympathy for Vult story and make a more “realistic” plot/setting in a fantasy world with Elves, Orcs, Demons, magic, etc. Then I have zero interest.

Aww... It is a shame that your fanfic won't continue but I wish all the best of luck and look forward for your rewritten fanfic. Godspeed...

This review is actually meant for chapter 3, because that's where I stopped with this story, but I wanted you to see it. I also wanted to point out the fact that Corvo ordered sparkling water, in a medieval inn, in chapter one. Anyways, my main issue with this fanfic, and in fact it's something that seems to show up in every Kuroinu fanfic ive read. Why the fuck is everyone so sympathetic towards Olga? Yeah, she suffers a horrible fate in the original hentai, but in these fanfics shes saved before being raped, so there's no reason for the characters to have so much sympathy, and it's especially alien coming from the Doomslayer. You realize Origa or Olga is what unleashed an organized army of mass rapists on human villages? I guess it's okay to allow mass rape of women and children by your army if you're a hot babe. Does the Doomslayer suddenly not hate demons anymore? Shouldn't he be on the verge of a murderous rampage after discovering Origa summoned his most hated enemies on a comparatively pure untainted world? Combining the atrocities committed by Origa's forces, why the fuck is Doomslayer, and his companions who presumably witnessed the end of human civilization, keeping Zan alive? She is literally half demon, or Chloe for that matter since they were only ordered to bring Origa in alive. Are Doomslayers two companions incarnations of fucking Jesus or something? You would think they'd be more hateful towards demons and those who work with them after seeing human civilization, everything and everyone they ever knew be destroyed. Why remove the primary attribute of Doomslayer's admittedly 2 dimensional character just so he can have a mutual funny moment at Volt's expense? Furthermore, systemic mass rape should realistically be Tuesday for the forces of literal HELL, so Balth'Azar's reaction feels very bizzare and hypocritical, sure he can think its stupid, but to actually take the moral high ground is retarded. Finally, I will thank you for having the Doomslayer actually be rightfully pissed at Celestine and her people's extreme incompetence, but even that scene was ridiculous. Why is everyone in Celestine's court so accepting of the fact that she basically just forgave their mortal enemy? Does no one see how borderline sociopathic Celestine comes across here? After waging war against her once best friend for hundreds of years, which means hundreds of thousands of casualties, and probably millions of lives ruined at the hands of the Orcs over time, she just welcomes her friend back? It would normally make Celestine come across as hilariously naive, but since you wrote that she'd seen the aftermath of battles and raids, that shed seen raped and butchered men women and children, it makes Celestine seem more like a sociopath or psychopath or something, who couldn't give a fuck about her subjects.

Please read author, this is genuine criticism, I would appreciate a reply in the next chapter, or a PM. Of course you dont have to respond, but it would be better if you did.

AWESOME! Please continue this story with chapter 7, as this is exciting to read, and I would hate to see it abandoned.

pls continue this story