Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Now onto the actual review:
Deli turned to see the Murkrow fleeing towards the trees. He had managed to shake each of them off and get his presents back. All he needed to do was head south again to where Santalune City was. Before he could inhale and summon the energy to boost his speed, however, it happened. A dizzy spell washed over him, slowing his movements and blurring his vision. Not only that, an invisible weight tied itself around Deli's body, pulling him closer down to the surface. The heavy usage of Aerial Ace caught up with him and Deli became short of breath. Like he had done last time, Deli sat on a nearby branch and rested for a moment.

Her acute observation skills make her a very suitable photographer. :(

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
The three chuckled in three different tones, one jovial, one boisterous and one sarcastic sounding.

A Renault 6 doesn't use coil springs or leaf springs. ;)

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
"Naw, naw, not to worry!" Treacle said, "Ain't much happening where I'm from anyway!"

The fables written by Hans Christian Andersen, the most famous Dane in the world, made him an icon of world literature. O_O

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
Perry shifted out of his seat and grabbed a handful of clothes, then left his room. His mother sighed as she went to stroke Deli's beak.

He has worked in France his whole life. T-T

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
"I guess this is your time to shine. Make sure you get back before it's Yuletide, yes?"

Should gone to ao3. ;P;

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
Perry's mother revealed the item she held which flashed red in her palm. It was Deli's anklet. Without hesitation, she approached Deli and grabbed hold of his foot. She buckled it on and the beeping noise stopped. She smiled.

. :(

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

Now onto the actual review:
Swoop. The second one went down, release and catch. Then the third and fourth. There were only two enemies left. If he kept this up, he would arrive at Santalune City in no time.

. :(

Wow. This was shockingly good. I don't like this poor mon and that's why I'm shocked. lol

Your characterisation of him drew me in and hooked me. Love how you write battles! That was a pleasure to read. I would very much like to read more from you. I enjoy the pokemon perspective. You make everyone seem alive.

I didn't find the mother's reaction quite believable. She was too over the top. I also didn't much like his trainer, but I'm pretty sure, or at least, hopeful you meant him to come across that way.

I'd love to see more from you in the future and do hope you feel the need to write more. ;)

thanks for sharing!
Mal

Alrighty! Since you reviewed one of my stories for our review exchange, I figure it's only fair that I hold up my end of the deal as well!

Kind of ironic that a trainer and his Pokemon are playing a Pokemon game. Ha ha. Anyway, I definitely like the idea you have for this story. A series of Pokemon mailmen who deliver mail and packages and have to deal with the Christmas rush and all that stuff. Since Delibird are known as the delivery Pokemon, I guess it's only natural you'd want to explore this concept. Poor Deli's got it rough, not only being kind of overweight, but getting roped into a job he doesn't care for, being insulted by a boss Dodrio. Also, love the punny Pokemon food names you came up with. I especially liked Tepigs in Blankets. That's a good one! But I'm glad things turned out better for Deli in the end!

Your prose is very good. You manage to write action scenes pretty well, with the Murkrow's movements and how they choreograph their attack formations. The story you wrote is interesting as well, so kudos to you on that one. I did notice a few things that stuck out to me: You keep spelling the Pokemon name Pidgeot as Pigeot. Pidgeot has a D in it, so you may need to rectify that. Also, I don't find Perry's mother to be a believable character. No mother I know has ever told their kid to straight up shut their mouth. I mean, it'd be a bit more realistic if she said something like "Don't talk to me like that, Perry!" or try to make excuses for herself, like any parent would when barging into their kids' rooms. Or might I suggest you change it to something less over-the-top, like maybe have her praise him for saying please. Plus, why would she just slap that anklet onto Deli and just throw him out into the job like that? It seemed like she just wanted to kick Deli out. I think maybe the scenario would be better if you added more of an explanation as to why she'd do that.

Okay, that was a bit of a tangent. Anyway, I definitely liked this! Good job! For your first story, this was quite good! I'd love to read more of your work, and not just for review games and such!

This is a good story. I didn't really notice anything wrong with the grammar. 9/10

Hiya, I hopped over here from Reddit. I always appreciate Pokemon stories that remind us that they are sentient beings with thoughts and feelings of their own. )

I think your writing style and characterization worked fine for what you've done with Deli. I always liked how you wrote the three Dodrio personas as well - that made me chuckle. I'd definitely enjoy reading more of Deli's adventures and his interactions both with Perry and with other Pokemon.

Ah, you posted this, I'm so glad :) You know my thoughts on this already, but I'll rehash them here, since you've made updates since the first draft.

First off, I think Deli's adventures with the Postmon services makes for a great Yuletide fic. Not going to lie, I'd read more of Deli's adventures if he does continue to work in the Postmon service even during other times of year. (How would a Delibird handle a summer-time flight?). And just the growth we've seen from Deli in this one fic makes me think he and Perry have some adventures ahead of them as well. Even if it's nothing epic and grand, I still like the idea of a pokemon and trainer working together to better their lives, one small step at a time.

Aside from Deli, though, you've got quite a cast of pokemon characters at play. Don the Dodrio, the angry Pidgeot, Treacle the Goodra (my goodness that's a fantastic name for a Goodra), and then the squadron of Murkrow. You've made these different pokemon come alive with their own personalities and quirks, and it's exactly as I like to imagine the pokemon world to be; strange, and wonderful, and varied.

And of course, I can't help but cheer that through all of the trials, Deli completed his delivery so that others could enjoy the Yuletide, even if he himself couldn't. It was a very self-less act from a pokemon that really started out not caring for much more than himself and his trainer. I'm definitely glad Deli will get his late Yuletide dinner after all. He certainly earned it this year.

Thanks so much for writing and sharing, and Happy Yuletide tidings to you :)