Ugh, I want to like this story, I really do, but your writing style makes my brain hurt...drags it down a lot

In my opinion they should be given cybertronian names to fit their new bodies

Excuse me SithDan but you made me confused with the part were Jackson 'Jack' Darby is talking with the original 13 primes because you were switching between 12 and 13 in chapter 5. So could you rectify that pleas? Other than that this is a great story.

Is English your second language

Not very good grammar

Love the concept of the story but, the writing could use a little work... Okay a lot of work. You keep repeating things over and over again; to the point that I feel like I've read a chapter five times before I get to the end. Your grammar is broken, words are misspelled, and at times it's like you wrote this in a different language then trusted Google to translate for you. You should consider getting a beta reader to help you. Or failing that actually read what you wrote before you post it to see if it make sense. If it's fluid. Try reading it aloud to yourself, that always helps me. Sorry if this seems a little harsh on you. I'm just tired of potentially good stories being ruined by bad grammar.

I'm guessing you aren't going to read this. Judging from the reviews on your other stories, you have no plans on improving your writing style.

You could cut this story in half if you fixed the repetition. The spoken parts are stilted and redundant. Most people do not repeat the same phrase three times in a sentence and rarely repeat a complete sentence that someone just said. I know you copy paste because sometimes you fail to correct gender pronouns or names.

Get a beta reader. You have a lot of times where you are using the completely wrong word. It makes it hard to read. They sometimes make sense initially, but changes drastically when placed in the proper context.

It seems like an interesting concept, but it is completely ruined by the writing.

this writing is so broken it hurts to continue reading.

Wow, uh…how can I say it in a nice way, but uh…it’s short, poorly written, and kinda bland. Try harder dude.

Sorry to say, I only got half way through this chapter before I decided it wasn't worth the effort to read anymore. It feels like you've written it in a different language and just used google translate to turn it into English.

You're dialog also feels wooden and unnatural. That, coupled with increasingly predictable plot make this feel like a very young child's essay for school, rather than the fanfiction we expect.

Your first chapter reads like a giant Author's summary and/or notes. You need to work much harder at your grammer and spelling. I realise spellcheck may be hijacking some of your work, but you need to proofread or get a beta-reader to check your work.

Keep working on this. You have a potentially great story, but it's being let down by your poor english skills. Once they improve, this will be a joy to read.

Please let jack and Arcee be together

Dude you need a beta...need help?

well how very um to quote knock out "repellant" but I was talking about the lack of punch lines and key backstory about the origins about how Silas and M.E.C.H got there hands on cybertronian tech and biology, I mean it is absolutely down right ludicrous, if anything you need to work on individual backstories for starters I would recommend that you write jacks back story as a prime and how he became a prime, and who he is in love with and on a more mature note, some lemons in the story through jacks point of view, then moving on to miko through vince jones, to see there previous lives before becoming cybertronians and after becoming cybertronians, and there love intrests and lemon scenes for there stories as well.
overall I give this story a 10.10 which in my book is an A as a grade.

good concept but poorly written