Honestly, I was going to read this a fifth time before writing this review but I simply am not strong enough. When you said that this is a 'stressful read', I was expecting some angst, mentions of torture maybe? Some gruesome details. With the author's note, I first assumed it was Ed's chapter and we finally find out what exactly is going on with him in Calormen. I was ready for anything stressful, any mentions of torture but this...this utterly beautiful piece for writing that had a firm grip on my heart from the very start was...it's amazingness can't be contained in words, but I shall try.

First, I'd like to shout, "WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU PUT POOR PETER THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THAT?! WHY?!" Okay, now that I have that out of my mind, let's see what I loved about this chapter and your writing in general.

Edmund's 'inticrate spy networks' just got me. I loved that. I totally picture Ed like that kind of person. I actually wrote a fic about his extreme wittiness. I was partially inspire by your take on it and somewhat by a book I've been rereading, again and again and again. Okay, that was over-exaggerated.

Well, I loved, absolutely adored how Peter slowly finds out what the letter is about. His first assumption was amusing, you managed to make us laugh with a chapter this grim. 'A love letter'? I wish, Peter. I truly wish that was true. If only.

Sigh.

Alright, I also loved how you gave him the ring first and left him to make assumptions. Three ways this could go in his mind, he refused to accept a reality where his brother was dead. I can't imagine how completely the letter must have crushed his soul. I'm so heartbroken, goddamit!

And how you left us in suspense, I loved that too. I was so eager to read what happens next, I literally locked myself in a room and asked everyone to stay out until said otherwise. It's hooking, you know. Your writing keeps the reader on their heels and they can't look away until they've read the last of it.

Telling him that he was dead wasn't enough, was it? That Obridesh had to lie about torturing him until he died (he didn't really do that, did he? Tell me he didn't torture him). AND that he called out for his brother to save him. You shattered his soul, you destroyed Peter.

Another sigh, another futile attempt to calm one's self.

"Have you no heart?!" OH MY ASLAN! Why are you so stuck up on making us poor readers cry. Can't you see? Can't you see, Susan? He can't grieve. It'll take away his sanity!

Heavy breaths.

And of course, all that pain wasn't enough. Lucy's death's news had to be brought in right then, to tear apart his heart further, overwhelm him with the guilt, drown him in it.

This is actually one of the aspects of the story that I didn't like. It should have been only Edmund that Peter had to grieve over, it would have given us a more inside look on their relationship (which is my favourite relationship in this fandom). I wanted that, I wanted to know how he felt about it, Edmund's part in chapter 12 is relatively small.

Great chapter. Sorry, a perfect chapter.

Thank you! Do update. Also, I hope you're alright. It never struck me that you might NOT be okay! I would hate that to be true. Please be okay and update. Hope you haven't lost inspiration. You ALSO owe us a prequel! I want to know what happened to Ed in Tashban!

~Pacifia

P.S. It took me a long time to review this time, didn't it. Also, I meant chapter nine in the last review, of course. And the 'em' is my poor attempt at trying to italicize the text using HTML. Ignore that.

Update please. Love this story

Took me a long time to review for chapter five, but here are my thoughts:

"Gather information, then make a plan—one step at a time until it's over."~Dear Su, being a queen can be exhausting, right? I understand you, actually I don't, since I haven't the slightest idea what being a queen is like. I would like to know though, are there any vacancies? Lol. :-)
"Sundance was a very elderly, incredibly bad-tempered badger, whose name could scarcely have been more ironic even if it had been bestowed on a Black Dwarf."~ True indeed.
"The Galman was tall, taller than Peter even, with broad shoulders, a disheveled mop of fair, sun streaked hair, and bright green eyes that regarded her with amusement."~ Huh, he sounds like a delicious treat. Okay, that was inappropriate, maybe, a little bit? Anyway, Gale indeed is one of the most intriguing of your original characters. If I had to rate your OCs for this story, he would be fourth (after Brickle, Rhegus and Obridesh of course.) Wait, Obridesh? Yeah, as an OC, you did an amazing job for him.
I would very much like to see Gale, his sun streaked hair and green eyes myself (don't worry, Ed. I don't like him better than you, Lol).
Susan regarded her blush as a result of embarrassment? Oh come on, Su, it's okay to admit you like the guy. But then again, this isn't a romance story, is it? It's something much better than that ;-)
emThe Life of Gale, King of Narnia./em If only we had books like that here.
Honesty above Flattery indeed. I like this about Gale very much, he's honest. He actually told Susan about his father's cunning intentions. Such honesty!
"Perhaps Edmund can draft an edict baring all human, male visitors from Cair Paravel when he returns." ~Oh, that's rich. It's rich, I tell you.
Wondeful chapter once again.

With love,
-P

Chapter eight: Beautiful! Beautiful! Beautiful! The six chapter wait was definitely worth it!

Okay, the first three paragraphs were just perfectly written (I really wish you teach me how to write like that). The sound of waves were her lullaby and the water her bed, oh my, what beautiful description!
"...was warm as the gentle surf breaking against the beach of Cair Paravel in high summer" perfect is all I have to say for this line.
And she thought she was on the beach of Cair Peravel! It was natural really, that it took her some time to recall an event that happened in so much haze. Breaking apart the details slowly and letting her discover it...wonderful again.
And I absolutely adore Maera and Amathia. Oh poor Lucy felt envious of free spirited Maera. Well, she had her time too though ;-)
And the merfolk save all they can, those damn pirates!
And of course her first instinct was to trust. Seriously, it did cross my mind that Lucy should not in any circumstances have followed a strange half goat creature to the woods in a land that was supposed to a wardrobe. But it turned out for the better.
And Peter would not have been afraid of treachery, he would have been ready to deal with it! Perfect insight!
I do wonder where the island is though.
Also, there are sheep there?
Anyway, I liked, completely adored actually, how you gave Lucy a need to fulfil her duty. Give her freedom but she'll be alone!
Now, for what she saw in the stream,
"She saw a man in Calormene clothes kneeling before a terrible altar made of heavy black stone and there were tears streaming down his face." - was that Obridesh? I think it was, he was in Tash's temple maybe?

"She saw Cair Paravel—its outer wall hung with the black banners of mourning—and Susan standing tall and proud beside a man whose face she could not quite make out." - we know what that is, Susan with Gale mourning her siblings' deaths.

"Then the scene shifted, and she saw Peter sitting before an unfamiliar hearth, shoulders slumped, and head dropped forward into his hands as if in sorrow or great exhaustion. Brickle hovered solicitously at his elbow, and seemed to be speaking in an animated fashion, but Peter was taking no notice of him." - You have me worried there! Brickle wasn't with Peter when he grieved in Cair...why is he sad now that he's found Ed. What's going to happen?! Oh Aslan!

"Next Rhegus' face flashed across the still water. He looked worn and exhausted, his wild red hair in an even greater state of disarray than usual and his sun darkened face lined with worry as he spoke with a very old man who stood hunched next to him." - We know that one too ;-)

"Then she saw Edmund, lying on a low sofa with a richly embroidered coverlet pulled up to his chin. His face was pale and bruised, and he didn't look quite the same as she remembered somehow, but before she could begin to decide what was different, the scene rippled and broke apart." - Oh my, is that from Ed's time in Tashban as Emreth. There was something different about him, something like he is possessed by Emreth's spirit?

"There was a sound like shattering glass and she saw something dark and almost metallic breaking against stone. The shards fell to the ground with faint tinkling sounds and vanished when they struck it." - Metal...knife...shattering...huh...

Once again, a wonderful chapter. Thank you!

With love,
-P

The seventh chapter was wonderful as ever.

Okay, I almost let myself hate Sallowpad since he proves to be even less useful than Peridan and more troublesome! But I know he means well even if he's immensely annoying.
Moving on to Edmund. Oh Ed, Eddie...how could you prove to be so foolish? How could you let the Tarkaan fool you, Ed? Was the headache and nausea not obvious enough? Man, poor poor Ed.
I personally adored how you compared what the situation had been like if instead of Peridan, he had Peter there with him. He would have understood-Not that he would have obliged though, of course!
And they think he's Peter! Just what Poor Peridan needed!
Now, the description you gave for the soldiers...my, my, was that some next level writing! I absolutely loved the fight scene, it was so clear and well written.
And Ed still has no idea what that gash is, does he? Poor him. Poor Everyone really!
For the next part, for Obridesh's story, it was, as expected, wonderfully written.
Tash proved to be clever, really clever. Unfortunately for Obridesh, Aslan had the Kings and Queens in his keeping. I feel really sorry for him now, you know. I realize he's only doing this to get his brother back. I can't blame him, not when they make me think of Peter and Edmund :-(
Also, I now understand what Lucy's dream about Edmund dying after falling from a cliff was! (man, reading this again is making everything much more clear)
Once again, an astounding chapter.
With love,
-P

The sixth chapter...gave me chills, literally.

I'm not kidding, I've got goosebumps!
This was amazing. And I absolutely loved how you recounted the tale of Tash and the Tarkheena. So perfectly written! Sometimes I wonder what this fandom did to deserve a writer like you (don't blush now, Lol). So, Obridesh wasn't really cruel, he loved his brother who was an Archenlander!
Also, I just realized what exactly Obridesh did to Ed (I can't believe I didn't figure this out before!). The cut on his palm! Oh my! He forced Emreth's spirit in him, didn't he? He did, didn't he? No!
And poor poor Peridan, so miserable he is!
And the rat! That was hilarious!
Only a trickle of blood nauseating him makes me pity him even more that he had to accompany Edmund to Tashban. Oh Aslan, this story is incredible!
And, the last two paragraphs... It felt like...I don't even what it felt like. It was thoroughly chilling to the bone.
Obridesh not being actually drugged and merely pretending definitely left for an incredibly tantalising cliffhanger.
And the last lines about the Tash made me fear him, seriously fear him.
Amazing chapter. Lovely writing. Incredible writer (again, don't blush).
With love,
-P

The fifth chapter (which is my favorite out of the five) was absolutely amazing! Here's why:

Your descriptions about exactly what Peter was feeling, and how his mind was trying to wrap itself around the mere idea of Areesh in Susan's chambers at night was so amazingly written that I almost jumped out of my seat because of the excitement at certain times. Fury comes easily to Peter, doesn't it?
Trebonious burst in with an AXE in hand, ready to face an assassin. Oh, that had me in uncontrollable laughs.
And poor Trebonious! He had no idea who to listen to, did he? It took some effort for Susan to finally convince Peter to not go out of his way to do something so incredibly foolish that it may cost them their brother. She knew only "Edmund is in Calormen." would have Peter calmed down.
The Tarkheena (whose name I'm interested to know) just won't leave poor Peter alone. Take the hint! He doesn't want you!
Giants, suitors and vintures, just perfect!
Brickle tugs his beard as a nervous gesture, obvious?
I absolutely adored, like completely loved, like couldn't think of any better way to reveal the truth to Peter; the fact and conclusion parchments. Edmund really does write a lot, huh?
"Either I have gone mad (unlikely)"
Again, you know how to make me laugh, A.
Little brothers...are definitely worse than giants, suitors and even vintures! (I don't have any siblings but I know for a fact that they are hard to deal with and don't leave you alone, mostly because they live with you, Lol)
And, Peter threw a Doornish noble off the docks? Oh Peter!
And dear, dear Peter prays for Ed's safety, knowing not about a certain letter he's about to recieve. Oh my, you broke my heart with that last line.
As usual, incredibly written!
With love,
-P

For the fourth chapter, my thoughts:

The chapter title, I think, fits wonderfully. "The trials of Susan", so creative! Peter having to tell Susan where Ed really is...wonderfully written.
"That's a disgusting amount of sugar!" Ah, typical Susan. And Susan's converse with Sallowpad was great as well.
Now, moving on to the Calormenes...what the heck is wrong with them? Both the Tarkan and the Tarkheena...
Susan gave the man a well deserved cut on his cheek (she has really long nails, huh?).
Peter, I think, was a little traumatised by what happened. Poor him, coming to his chambers to find a scarcely dressed Tarkheena waiting for him. I would have been terrified.
An amazing chapter from you once more. Thanks.
With love,
-P

For the third chapter, here's what I have to say:

First, I'd like to point out how wonderfully it was written! Lucy's thoughts and Rhegus' dialogues only added to this chapter's beauty.
Now, I absolutely loved "The charter of kings". Even if Lucy found it dull, I found it intensely intriguing.
Then, there was Lucy thinking about what her siblings would do. Edmund would have been better at reading the book. Peter would have pouted to hear that Lucy had been afraid of Rhegus and Susan, Susan would have been furious to see her engage in such an informal conversation with the Captain. Also, Lucy didn't even combed her hair!
Rhegus' back story definitely was pleasant to hear even if it was very vague (not to remain that way for long) :-)
And Lucy ought to listen to Rhegus! If he says there's nothing you can do, there's nothing you can do.
Anyway, I also adored the last paragraph about the swallow and how she knew that Lucy was gone, that doesn't matter how fast she flew, her queen was lost. That was grim.
With love,
-P

Here are my thoughts on the second chapter:

The first two paragraphs were incredibly written even if they were from a narrator's perspective. You did a nice job in contrasting Edmund's appearance and behaviour with that of Peridan's, making it clear that Peridan desperately needed to pull himself together.
And intimidating Edmund can be intimidating! I absolutely adored his and Peridan's conversation about dropping the titles that 'attached themselves to Peridan's sentences'.
Edmund takes it back, Peter. He'd much rather deal with Susan's suitors than be stuck in Calormen with an unreliable and relatively useless accomplice.
'He's my brother, I can call him whatever I want.' definitely made gave me the family vibe. Peridan ought to know that, doesn't he have brothers?
And good job devising a distinguished religious gesture for the Calormene. I liked that.
Now for Peridan, I have to say that he's the perfect character I could asked for to accompany Edmund on his mission. He's humorous (even if doesn't try to be) and almost completely useless when it comes to help Edmund spy or mantain his cover. I loved the details about his life that you poured in as well.
For Obridesh, I have to say that you made him as intruiging as a character could be when first introduced. There are so many questions we would have about him, why isn't he a Tarkaan anymore? What's his history with Edmund? His picture was painted clearly in my mind, thanks to your wonderful writing.
But I do wonder why you switched points of views. I'm assuming it was because you needed to hide certain things Edmund knew from us.
And also, I noticed that this chapter was missing commas in certain places.
Absolutely loved the chapter and still urge that you update soon.
With love,
-P

Okay; I have decided to post a separate review for each chapter even if I'm reading this nearly a year and half years after its last update because this wonderful and incredible story absloutely deserves that! Your work is incredible, A and it deserves as much appreciation as it can get.

Okay; for chapter 1, here's what I have to say:

This was the perfect first chapter I could have asked for. You cleared up the major plot idea and what everyone is 'supposed' to be doing even if they don't achieve it.
And Peter's point of view was very well written. You described precisely what he was thinking from getting the letter to sending Edmund and Lucy on dangerous missions. Also, I liked how you very vaguely provided us a hint of Edmund's mishap in Tashban.
The fact that Lucy gets into trouble more than Peter and Edmund combined even if it doesn't involve assassins and nearly getting killed definitely provided for some laughter as well.
And what a great introduction for Brickle! You told us exacty how nervous and unsatisfying he is as a servant. And how thick in the head he is since he chose the chimney as his hiding place. Also, you used this right to tell us that Edmund has many...many spies.
Now for Athelstan, even if he wasn't really in this chapter, we still know what kind of a person he is from the letter and Peter's insights on him. The bit about the exhausting titles and poetry and how Calormen must have influenced the Lone Islands was wonderful as well.
And the incident with Susan's suitor and how Peter envies Lucy and Edmund and hates being stuck at Cair to deal with the suitors made for laughter as well, mainly because it gave me a sense of irony since I've already read the later chapters.
Your writing is amazing, A. When I read this, I could put myself in Peter's shoes and feel what he was feeling. This chapter was a perfect mixture of family, humor and politics. I loved it, absloutely loved it.
But A, where are you? Don't leave us hanging, girl. Where's the 27th chapter?
Anyways, With love
-P

It's amazing how your writing cures my writer's block instantly. I read your stories and I'm just like, all right, gotta go and write!
love this so so so much! Please do keep writing! Can't wait for more.

Wow. I just found your stories and I love them! I honestly think Lewis would be proud of how faithfully you've used his characters and world. I especially love this one - it's so convoluted and mysterious! I can't wait to hear what happens next. I'm glad you have several other stories I can read in the meantime :) Thank you for your work!

.GOD...
This was AMAZING
I'm telling you. I read the whole story in only two days time and I can't believe you left us hanging!
it's been a year and a half since you've updated and have can Olympic hope you will continue. please do!

and your writing is incredible. the characters are full on! (if that makes sense LOL) and theven research you must have done to get this done... for that I have a distinct respect for you.

you also managed to get a perfect mix of adventure, suspense, mystery and angst in the story...each chapter slowly revealing what's gonna happen...it's just...really great.

I really hope you haven't lost inspiration and will continue writing this wonderful story. please do...pretty please?

lots of appreciation and cheers

-whydonamesevenmatter

I really hope this fic is not abandoned, it's far too good for that! I'm going to leave a proper review here later, because I swallowed all the chapters in less than 10 hours and I have to calm myself a bit before trying to write with any sense. Much love!