Reviews for Studying |
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M chapter 1 . 4/21 Love this! |
Dorngok Sekker chapter 1 . 12/14/2017 This... This is good ole' fluff here. |
B.Kitsune chapter 1 . 12/2/2017 Mitsuki my hero jajaja. Ohh i don't know if you have mistakes, I don't speak English, but I enjoined the fic, this couple it's so cute. |
Guest chapter 1 . 10/29/2017 Lol this is great |
Hiro VP chapter 1 . 9/28/2017 I love it... I FUCKING LOVE IT! This is my fucking ship! *insert Burt Hummel Meme* |
Guest chapter 1 . 9/27/2017 I really like this chapter. Can't wait for the next one. |
Steam Igans chapter 1 . 9/24/2017 First off, I kinda read something oddly similiar to this. Litterally it had the exact same plot, your's was just set up better. I don't know if you took insperation from that story, or it's just a coinsidence, but I'd like if you could PM me about it, cause I'm actually curious. Anyway about your story, I gotta say out of the four stories you wrote on this account this one had the most mistakes.[Maybe your other stories also had mistakes, but I hadn't noticed them] I am going to point those mistakes out and fix them, but before I do I'm just gonna say that this was a fun little On-shot and that I really enjoyed it. Anyway the mistakes: 1) You HAVE really good grades. [You use HAS with he/she/it and names, while HAVE is used with I/you/they and when there are multiple names] 2) I'M JUST here to help him study... [Don't separate I and AM just use I'M, and with the leftover JUST and REALLY just choose the one you like more cause they mean the same thing in that sentence, I just picked JUST cause it sounded better, to me atleast] 3) ... you'RE the one who wanted my help... [You just confused your and you're(you are)] 4) ... how you SOLVED this problem.../ ... explaning how to SOLVE the problem [While you can DO a problem, it's way more correct to write to SOLVE a problem] 5) ... he INHALED HER salty ocean SCENT again. [INHALE and SMELLED mean the same thing but if you want to improve writting you are going to have to use synonyms, the same goes for SMELL and SCENT; I removed SEA cause it you already used OCEAN to describe her smell, and OCEAN and SEA are diffrent have diffrent meanings when you look into it] 6) ... if she TASTES like that... [Simply put he wonders if she TASTES like the salty ocean right now, not if she TASTED like the salty ocean, meaning she tastes differently now] 7) ... kissed her, BUT rougher and more FORCEFULLY. [Alright, I removed THIS TIME cause you already used THEN in the beginning; changed ONLY to BUT, in all honesty ONLY is probably okay and I'm just over thinking it, I'm also not really sure about changing FORCEFUL to FORCEFULLY] 8) ... a grin APPEARED on his face. [I added APPEARED cause without it that part feels like it's missing something, and because what did the grin do? the grin APPEARED on his face] 9) ... packed up HER stuff. [I'll be honest I don't know how you made that mistake] 10) ... took THE BOW out of HER HAIR... [This isn't really a mistake in grammar, but in logic; You don't take your hair from the bow you take the bow out of your hair] 11) ... stared AT her as she left, with a... [Replaced BEHIND with AT cause it works better, maybe it was fine, can't decide really; and a comma after LEFT; I'll be honest I'm better at wording than punctuation] I hope I helped you in some way and I can't wait to read your next story. :) |