Please consider writing in your first language instead. This is so unreadable that I highly doubt even a good beta could make heads or tails of it.

Wait what? Unless Dumbledore was under imperio or obliviated himself the night of Voldemorts attack on the Potters, HOW can Mr. 'DUMBLEDORE dropped me off outside an orphanage (first chapter)' have made the old coot think that 'Voldemort had caused the DEATH of Harriet Potter' all those years ago? He should KNOW where she's been AND that she was alive since HES the one who dumped her as far as baby Asias memories remembered. *lol*

Please update soon

Here I thought that this will be a fic for amusement. I found Asia to be a Kotomine Kirei clone or something. And then, you publish this chapter out. You pulled heartstrings so bad, it hurts.

Please update more

This is really quite interesting, in a weird way.

Fleur is actually a quarter veela. Her mother is half. The Dragon task is the first one then the lake.

I don't like the emotional garbage, though it IS very realistic.

I can understand the lack of Beta for your story may cause you to miss some errors here and there. What I don't understand is how you can write in broken English like you haven't taken a writing or English class at any point during school, or have written a paper for a class. I like the story ideas, but its really hard to read without getting a headache having to translate the text into an actual sentence. I like what you have, but use these stories to help yourself improve in your written work.

Over all I like this author's stories, what irks me however is that they don't lead anywhere. Take this story for example, it is really well written, paragraph sizes are perfect and conversations flow naturally and pull you in.

Story wise however nothing plot related takes place. Sure there is a ball etc. But despite being Harry Potters sister plot wise nothing related to that happens. The MC might as well be someone completely random. There is absolutely no point in making the MC his twin when she doesn't even visit her trust vault or speak with him.

It makes the first chapters of the story feel completely redundant.

Being a devil and replacing Asia is completely irrelevant as well as the author doesn't actually do anything with it, making the crossover and several chapters once more completely redundant.

Perhaps the author has some grand plot in mind in which it all comes together brilliantly. Frankly that would not surprise me with this author at all. The problem is that the stories don't make it that far, making them all pointless to read despite the fact that (and I say it once more) the over all idea and plot potential is brilliant.

So people reading this review might wander why I still bother reading these prologues of stories, since truly they don't make it past that. The truth is because even if they don't get finished and full story wise are pointless to read, the potential of each story keeps me in lala land imagining what might happen next for hours afterwards. I do request that the author to try to find the strength to complete these stories though.

Ngrhhrhryejdk this is so hard to read. I tryed. I really did but i couldn’t get the gist of the plot it’s all over the place. I tryed reading it all in one go to get the flow but i just couldn’t follow it. Sorry.

I'd advise against killing Rias unless you can successfully frame someone else or trick them to do the deed. An example is placing an Illusion on Akeno so that she sees Rias as her father so she unleashes a full blast of Holy Lightning on him knowing that he could take it but would still be injured unlike Rias who would die from it.

I'm surprised that she hasn't tried to unlock her Dying Will Flames seeing as she HAS already died so unlocking them should be easy now that she is aware of their existence. She IS screwed on the Naruto-based Chakra though do to being too old to unlock it unless she finds and eats a Chakra Fruit like Kaguya did.

The lake task was in February or posibly January after the ball.

Lol the first task is the dragons, the second task is the lake.