Just finished chapter 1. You write with a lot of refreshing detail, making the action more exciting rather than simply stating what happened (which I fear I do too often). I also didn't notice any grammatical errors.

I have always had trouble rationalizing the event in Revelations when Camilla fights Corrin. You made it believable by starting your story at that chapter, and mentioning the feeling of betrayal when Corrin rejects Nohr.

I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of making Corrin into two people, which I've seen a lot of authors do. In your story's chapter 1, it didn't seem very necessary, though maybe it'll make more sense in chapters 2 and 3. But at the least I will say that having twins hasn't detracted much from the chapter, so I guess I can live with it.

But in conclusion, well done. Colorful and interesting language. Professionally typo-free. And go Corrin/Camilla.

Love it. This is my all-time favorite OTP. Thank you so much! Your writing is awesome and very well written.

An excellent conclusion (barring an epilogue). In fact your story has motivated me to start a Lunatic Mode playthrough of Revelation. For all the game's flaws I do love so many of the characters in the game, and I look forward to tearing through foes with my Corrin and the gorgeous and powerful Camilla at his side as partners.

If you want ideas for future stories though, and find Revelation to be too broad, then I'd be eager to see you do a similarly sexy/dramatic story with one or more of the couples from Fire Emblem: Echoes (assuming you've played it). Mathilda and Clive have a wonderful dynamic between them for instance, sickeningly sweet at times yes but wonderful all the same. And of course Mathilda is almost as sexy as Camilla in some ways but quite a different sort of character (be sure to be aware of info gotten about her from DLC material). Or if you want to go with a romance with a rather different feel then there is always Boey and Mae, or Gray and Clair for that matter.

Given how the pairings in the game are set (provided both in a pair survive the game) and the story being pretty linear the setting is more grounded and stable in Echoe than in Fates (and you have lore from multiple games to draw from thanks to it being in a universe shared with several other Fire Emblem titles), and the writing and characterization is notably higher in quality all around. Even the usual "evil priest" character Jedah gets some depth to him as far as motivations are concerned.

Great chapter! I LOVED IT! Can't wait for the epilogue!

great story hope you update soon

Good chapter! Loved it. I wonder what shall happen with the next chapter? Update soon please!

To put it simply, that was a sex scene worthy of Camilla.

Cute story.
I like it.

The only thing that comes to mind against this chapter is "young man stood frozen like a deer in headlights". Considering headlights or cars haven't been invented in this magical fantasy realm it seems out of place, unless I missed something in the game, haha.

Other than that it was great. I look forward to more chapters and stories.

Fantastic. I'm really impressed with the chapter. The smut part felt really intimate and personal between the two of them. So my hat comes off to you for a job well done, and applause.

Looking forward to the next chapter with great anticipation .

Question will the next chapter have a time skip from the new chapter added or will it follow it into the the morning after their intamate night

This was so lovely! I love the way you portrayed Camilla. She is such a sweet character and I love the relationship between corrin and her :) keep up the good work

Interesting start! You really got down everyone's personalities well! I'm impressed. I, too, wish to see how well you'll write down Camilla and the Avatar down in here as Fates was indeed lacking in that area.

I hope to see another chapter soon! Till then!

P.S. I wouldn't mind seeing Kana's interactions with Camilla and The Avatar as well. Just a thought.

Beautifully written in my opinion. Well done. I feel you have done Camilla's character justice.
Looking forward to the next chapter

Good to see another Avatar/Camilla fic. :) And yeah, I thought the game screwed Camilla's characterization over as well.