I really like the language you used for the first chapter also the way you wrote it !

I loved the beginning of the story. You write and well and have a wonderful style.

That being said, the second half of the story began to drag a lot. Your portrayal of ChiChi became extremely annoying to the point i felt extremely sorry for Goku. It would have been more refreshing to see her other than someone frustrated with Goku over the littlest things (really, hard to believe she would nag him about catching a cold). Her actions and inner thoughts became quite contradicting and it became hard to believe she really valued her husband considering how dismissive she became of him despite his consistant confessions and behaviour all indicating towards the fact that he isn't at all comfortable. Surely if she truly cared for him, she wouldnt be prioritising her "friend" above his and being so careless about something that he deems important to him? At the start, the jealousy was an interesting plot, but as the story went on and it was clear that she wanted whis to be a friend regardless of what Goku feels, it became tedious to read as it was the same feelings, same conflicts just repeating themselves in different situations and different points of view.

The ending was anticlimatic. Her sudden death didnt create the desired effect if shock and suspense for me. It was strange to find Goku okay with ChiChi's friendship. It seemed too sudden to the point where it wasn't exciting to discover as a reader.

Although one may say that ChiChi was the victim here; perhaps Goku's possessiveness is unnecessary and that his absence justifies ChiChi's need for companionship, I think Goku was the real victim. Constantly dismissed and ignored even though he was trying to make an effort, trying to always apologise and trying to express his internal conflict with his inherent, yet dormant, agressive nature as a Saiyan.

I must say however, it's very rare i ever complete a story that has characterisations i disagree with and a slow, unexciting direction. That is because you are a good writer and unfortunately the progression of the actual plot of the story isn't as interesting as your style of writing.

Good luck in the future with writing more stories.

Me encanto,una historia super original. Partiendo de los celos a la pregunta que haria goku si su chichi? A la de como todos ellos siendo dioses y angeles no pueden cumplirse sus propios caprichos.. asombroso espero poder leer otra de tus historias...simplemente eres genial

Uh, wow... whoever you are and whatever you’re doing and wherever you’re going, I just wanna that I’m really glad you wrote this fic. Thank you

It was such a beautiful, touching and amazing story ! The bonding time between Whis and Chichi is really adorable ! The character development of Goku about his jealousy is really well done ! Everyone were in chara and I really appreciate that ! Thank you so much for your marvelous story ! One of the best Goku/Chichi I've read !

Liked your Vados' characterization tho.

Man, after all crap you put Goku throught. It reads like you were taking some "justice" on him.

It was so unnecesary.

He was already in pain and you manage to break him like if all this was his fault. I dont get you bru. I dont the neccesity to hurt his character so much like he was a mistake.
Bruh he saves her and chichi angrily complain. You definitely based her characterization on her DBS version.

And of course Goku will accept their frienship now. Of course you will pull that off. Im surprised that you didnt put him making frienship bracelets for them.

Chichi knew that she was destroyed? Then why she dissmissed piccolo's and everyone's concerns? That pretty Ooc.

HA! didnt chiche said she wasnt the jealous type? Which was a blant lie? The nerve of her to be jealous now. Seriuosly. The audacity. After all the shit she put her husband and all the time she flipped the tables on him and blame him for her friendship with Whis and all the pressure she put on accept it. She dare to be jealous? And aking him to stay away from her when she NEVER did it when her husband asked her for it? That is laughable. Althought this is the only moment where Chichi is in character.

I cant say that i like this story. Or that i will come to read it again. But i do like how you write it. Even if i don't like what you wrote.

Everyone was great. Very IC except from Chichi. She knew how bad her husband Whis' presence affect him and you write her dissmissing it, period. You make him express his fears and didnt wrote chihi making something about it. A lot of part in the story didn't truly say anything but was overwordy filler.

In the first chapters, everything seemed fantastic. I even understood chichi more than Goku. What and how she felt and why she wanted a friend, but when she admitted that she liked to see him jealous, and enjoy poke him like that, everything went into a tailspin. Because it's not nice they're between the sword and the wall the way you put it on him. Bcuz its wasnt pleasant to read her dissmissing his feeling on this. At the end, like i expected. You would write him accepting thiis friendship and making look like everything was his fault.

Like i said. I like how you write it. You have a very interesting style and way put secuences altogether. Its an original style, very formal.

But it was the content what doesnt seems appeal to me.

Wish you the best and i hope next time. You can write about the couple more equally instead of siding to chichi and put all the blame on goku, like the 90% of the gochichi fandom do.

Ooo i could feel the tension in this one.

Goku making the impossible to get his wife back.

At least Whis is accepting his role in this whole ordeal. but it had to get chichi killed to do so?

Oh let me Guess. After Chichi and Whis' death Goku will magically accept and support their friendship?

Way to cath Trunks' attituted. He would definitely nag Goten for his losing tooth

Chichi told everyone about jer friendship with Whis, apparently.

Man, Ox king. Even he dissmiss Goku's feelings.

Man, i do feel bad for him. No one give a crap of what he feel about the situation with Whis. Was was the point to the first 20 chapters then?

And yeah Whis could jusy appear food. Beerun and buu was not her problem. Yet again she scream at her husband for Whis' sake. And i dont see what He is trying to patch up at all.

I called it.

It was matter of time to get someone killed. And of course it had to be chichi. I think i know how this will end.

The fact that you manage to write Whis more hurt than Goku is cringeworthy.

I wish i could say that i feel bad for Whis. But that would be a lie.

Ah Whis. Frankly i dont understand why he force himself like this? He knows Goku doesnt like him aroung his wife, so why? He like to pick on Goku too much and Chichi let him.

Its in part like Piccolo said. Whis' loyalty is with Beerus. And his work is first.

Daaaamn Why cheated? Aw man. That winning doesnt count and everyone knows it. Why was called reconciliation game then?

And why chichi like thisssss

Damn. Such a lovely dynamic between mother and Son.
Aw man this is the 3 time you wrote Whis ruining their family moment a d like the 10th time chichi dissmising Goku feelings. She flip the tables and put everything in him. I dont remember her... again. I dont remember her to be this manipulate towards him.

Sure, she doesnt feel the same way she felt about Goku towards Whis. But that is how that tight relationship making feel. You cant tell me that chichi prefers to dissmiss her husband feelings like this a d kept Whis after knowing how much affect him. Chichi isnt that type of person and i refuse to believe it.

You write such a great family moments. They reads easy and warm. Have to give you an applause for that.

Way to ruining it with Whis. This match of reconciliation smell like problems. After thay heart to heart you would thought that means something for her. What was the point to make his said all that if she was going to dissmis it like this?

Why chichi was pressing Piccolo to be jealous? I get he is part of the family but as an asexual being he does has the feeling of owning like Goku did.

Finally, finally someone say it to her! While Whis is pleasant he can really be aganist Lord Beerus just for a mere mortal that is a dot of space dust.

Even if i found lovely how they interact. You streched the chapter for nothing. Comparing Whis with Gohan its absurd.

Goki has to share everything in his life, his strenght to protect the word, sacrifice his life and being with his family for 7yrs to kept the planet save. No wonder why the man want something to belong only for him.

Bruh, i want believe after that heart to heart she isnt to be adamant about Forcing Goku to accept that friendship. Anymore.

Finally. I was starting to think that she loved to make Goku feel bad. Even if she feel that she isnt wrong. She is in part her fault.
Way to ruining, Gohan.

For real. Goku clearly wrong. But she was too.

You shouldnt put the guilt in just one of them and victmize the other one.

Mostly when chichi contradict herself. She didnt want to promise to goku not to be whis' friend yet now she is talling her wife if he didnt like it she will stop.