Im am lost for words I can't describe what im feeling probably some emotion there and there, im pretty excited to go throught the 'meta'

Ight

Where did chapter 23 go to?

Liam and Selina's timid actions were adorable in the chapters leading up to their confessions. After they became a couple, the cuteness and adorableness increased tenfold! You took the classical PMD storyline of "hero and partner are super close but both are too scared to confess because they don't want their partnership to become awkward" and executed that storyline so well. We got to experience a lot of their strong bond, the phase of awkwardness and tension once they couldn't get the idea of being mates out of their minds, and finally an amazing confession leading to heartwarming adorableness.

It's awesome to see Tristan step up and become a great leader, getting so many good things done while also never letting the power get to his head. However, the rapid expansion of Valnor seems very unhealthy and dangerous. With how fast they are growing, the country is going to face so many problems. Meanwhile, Liam is basically the god of Treasure Town. He has all the money, all the power, and he owns everything. I thought it was unsettling how much he leveraged that power to do what "was right." Especially when what he thinks "is right" is based on his supernatural power of the dimensional scream. I can see how he's facing the consequences with Tristan latching onto Liam's almighty secret "good deeds" as a reason to hate Liam after being... rejected by Selina.

I feel like Selina being Tristan's primary motive kinda came out of nowhere. The only hints as to his feelings were asking if she wanted a drink in chapter 1 and almost telling Marvin that Liam and Selina were not his real parents in chapter 4. I didn't feel like it was very significant but maybe I missed some of the hints? Then all of the sudden during his confession he says that he joined Team Retribution because of her and made the country just for her. All that after numerous chapters all about Tristan's good deeds and how he was doing it all because it was good for the purple plus he enjoyed the recognition. And how could he not see that Liam and Selina were going to be a thing? Multiple characters stated that it was well known throughout the town. All of Tristan's rage - calling dark types the problem, destroying his house, pinning blame on Liam - are to be expected... if Tristan was doing everything just to be with Selina. I find that prospect a hard sell. I suppose that a conflict between Tristan and Liam will drive the plot forward.

To be completely honest, I'm not sure if I will be interested in reading the next installments of the story. I can tell that the plot will be amazing, but dark plots like the one that's about to come aren't my cup of tea. I might keep reading and get hooked on the plot, or I might live on in blissful ignorance of the darkness to come and just stick to the heroism and cuteness of Part One. That is only my personal preference, though; I'm not trying to say that the more recent chapters are bad! You are an incredible writer and Into Darkness was an amazing read so far. You have fantastic world-building, great characters, an awesome plot and lots of characters to talk about. To back it all up, your writing has flawless grammar and well-written sentences. Another thing I like is your rotating third-person limited perspective which allows us to experience the story through different characters and makes lots of dramatic irony. My only critique of your writing style is that sometimes you put speech from one character and actions of a different character reacting to the speech in the same paragraph so I got confused with who was saying or doing what. Maybe it would be better to separate sentences about different characters into separate paragraphs but it's totally up to you.

Keep up the awesome work! Your writing is amazing!

This story is amazing so far! Now that the plot set off by the dimensional scream about Kraven taking over has finished up, this seems like a great spot to leave a review. I loved the detailed political situation that you made and all the tricks that went into play. I got super nervous when Tristan lost the first debate but my hopes soared once I read about the next debate that he aced. I got super nervous again when the corrupted police officers swapped the ballots but once again gained my hope back when Rachel foiled them. I was still super nervous all the way up until Tristan was finally declared the winner of the vote. The fact that Liam rigged the election using his own money but for the good of the town and the tension it created with his teammates added an extra layer of intricacy to the plot that made it not so black and white. I'm glad that the things in the dimension scream didn't come true and Kraven was actually stopped. Unless those horrors are still going to happen in the future and Kraven was not the biggest bad guy? I shall read on and see. My prediction is that there will be a new series of dimensional screams that will set off a new plot with our heroes.

Besides the plot, I also really enjoy the details you've added about how the mystery dungeon world operates, such as how some Pokemon still live uncivilized while others are moving into Treasure Town and the place is expanding. I thought about how most of Treasure Town's economy was coming from rescue teams, who must be getting their money from the police for catching outlaws. Where do the police get the money from?

Besides the great plot and world-building so far, let me talk about the characters. I always look forward to the scenes addressing Liam and Selina's relationship with each other. They are super cute together! The scenes with Marvin are the best. It's so funny with him calling them mom and dad! I'm looking forward to more of Liam and Selina as the story goes on. Rachel is a mystery to me. At first, it seemed like she was going to be a love rival, but I don't think so any more after seeing that Liam is very attached to Selina. Then I was thinking that she might actually turn out evil somehow. Or she could just be a strong sidekick for the team. I'll have to wait and see.

'Ello there, mate! I've actually been lurking on this story for a while now (actually, to be honest, ever since it basically started. I was looking for something gritty to read to desensitise myself and get a better understanding of edgy shiz I could write. Something that's been a little unsuccessful because nobody really writes it, note, but still, lol).

That all said, it's only recently that me and my girlfriend, ravengal, decided to read through properly. Haven't finished the whole thing yet, but I thought I'd give me thoughts on what we've read so far. Because of all me glancing, I even know of some stuff that happens later on, too, but I don't know everything, so forgive me if I say a stupid. XP

First of all... pretty awesome story! :P I can't say I see too many PMD stories that actually bother to tell a story that's Mystery Dungeon related, these days. Well, without retelling literally everything that happened in the game but with an edgy, overpowered OC somewhere spouting Shadow The Hedgehog-tier shiz, anyway. XP

The characters sometimes feel a little... 'matter of fact' in the way they talk sometimes, especially when expositioning. And by that I mean... stiff and without much personality being thrown into what they're saying, I guess? Though to be fair, that's more common early in the fic. Seems a bit better as it goes along, so I guess that's just me complaining about what you've improved on already, as I do. XD Still worth mentioning, though.

Aside from that, I like all the personalities I see! There's a nice mix that goes on, and there's a lot of amusing banter between all the peeps, too. Pretty fun to see. :P

I guess if I had to nitpick, Liam's a bit of a tryhard at times, what with every other comment of his being a wisecrack… but he's likeable enough and doesn't feel overly OP. For instance, he often stumbles when it comes to questionable morals, or problems that require solutions which don't involve doing a violence on the people involved. It's quite interesting! XP

I can't help but smirk and roll my eyes at you deciding to go with a lucario and an umbreon as the two main characters, who are easily the most overrated pokémon of all time. Just couldn't resist, could ya? XD Still, whatever works for ya. I've noticed that in your two other fics, you seem to enjoy your 'man and his lady pokémon'-styled relationships, and it's kind of similar to that. What with the human-shaped dog man and his fox-shaped fox woman. So I see what'cha did there. Maybe. XP

It's interesting that the language is quite flowery a lot of the time, mixed with a little bit of crassness, plus everyone's fondness of the phrases 'y'all' and 'anyways'. I like it enough, and the grammar and spelling and all that shiz are on point, so all's good. You and the beta readers are doing a nice bit'a work, there. XP

I like the relationship between Liam and Selina quite a bit. It's quite cute! :P Especially with all the back and forth they tend to do. What a bunch of jokers those two are, eh? XD

So yeah, that's my little bit on my opinions on the fic. Overall, a very decent read. Good work! :P

Done with that, I'm-a gonna point out some things me and ravengal noticed that caught our interests.

... Alright, mostly MY interest, but y'know. XP

I see it's one of them fics that makes it so when breeding, only the mother's species goes through to the child. That seems to be what it's hinting at, anyway. Guess it's fair enough, but it's gotta really suck for them hitmonchans and tauros, huh? XD Maybe that's why we haven't seen any, yet. Not enough dittos to go around to stop them from going extinct.

During the politics section, I couldn't help but notice that a lot of the opinions being given out were very... shall I say, not very 'left'? Have you perhaps been ingesting a few too many red pills lately, or something? XD Well, whatever works for ya, either way.

The chapter I'm up to talks about feraligator dicks, and they seem confused as to where they are. Does that mean that most pokémon are constantly on display at all times…? O,o Wouldn't Liam mind if everyone can see his ballsack constantly, seeing as he's a human, sorta? Does Selina not notice that Tristan's dong keeps poking out, hard as a diamond, whenever she's near him? I dunno, I guess everyone would be used to the nudity, like seeing a girl's cleavage irl, but it's still a bit of a weird thought. Especially since it's the frigging happy-go-lucky world of Mystery Dungeon, of all things. XD Imagine having to see Wigglytuff's family jewels, dangling before his entire team. Or having to see Bidoof's ass whenever he makes a quick comment about passing gas. Fun times for everyone. XP

Oh yeah, because I've been glancing ahead in the fic, I've probably been noticing more hints towards might happen than I should have been doing. I shall share my findings for why I think the future's fucked 'ere, for ya. XP

- Dark-types aren't very trusted at all. It would be very easy to turn them into low-class citizens. (Though they get the reputation that they keep giving themselves, I guess. Those goshdarn evil-types. XP)

- Tristan is VERY ambitious, and constantly wants things to change, whether for better or worse.

- Tristan has a low tolerance for criminals and lawbreakers. Maybe even minor ones.

- Getting cucked made Tristan a very grumpy sausage, indeed. Especially since it was a dark-type who rejected him, lol.

- Tristan needs himself stronger guards and police, and blaziken and nidoking get loose later on, don't they? Those naughty rapists are fairly strong, so...

So yeah, things ain't looking too good, eh? It's all fine, though, and I know why! I'll bet'cha that Rachel is actually Liam's kid from the future, much like in Fire Emblem Awakening. Perhaps she went back in time to stop things from getting murder/rape/mischief happy, like they are in the future!

... Wait… but then there's the 'female species-only' thing. That limits that a bit, don't it? Well, nmind, then. Who knows what her deal is? XD

On the topic of the future, though, it's been said that future travel is impossible for Liam to do without either dying or getting heavily screwed over, anyway. Either that's you saying that him doing everything right this time is absolutely imperative (as in, no resets allowed!)... or maybe Liam will end up going back in time after Tristan screws his lady friend against her will, or something. Though not without some kind of nasty side effect. Who knows? XP

Alrighty, I'm done annoying you with me ranting. All in all, good fic, mate! You've written yourself some good shit. :D I'm looking forward to reading more with ravengal, soon. It's a change to all the PikaBun I get up to, that's for sure. XD

No idea how gritty things will get, going forward… but, considering that I'm trying to harden myself to that sort of stuff as much as possible, do your feckin' worst, mate. XD

Tata for now! c:

I love this story and I think it's time for an old friend to see Liam, *cough* have liam and co. go see jirachi and hold on one sec,*cough* wish for Grovyle to come back to life for them! *cough* Anyways can you add a extra character which is me of course! Its kadyn, species? Greninja. backstory saved the world from going into the sun before this story took place. it happened in psmd.

Suspicions among multiple people and someone who wants to redeem themselves. An empire that can be destroyed as quickly as it began. Can't wait for the next Chapter.

So Tristian’s caught on to Liam’s machinations?
I wonder if he will go full paranoid and think that Liam signed him up to be the advisor so that Liam could pursue Selene without his interference.

Oooooh. Triatan's biiiiiig mad.

After the note you left us on in the last chapter, it's safe to say I was super excited for this chapter. Way to deliver, by the way. I'm digging the new P.O.V we got. A criminal that ain't very interested in that kind of life anymore... it's definitely a nice change of pace when compared to the chaotic good guy Liam, the no-longer-so-good Tristan, the chaotically evil Bale, etc. Unfortunately, a mindset like that while traveling with someone like Bale probably wont result in such a happy ending for him... but oh well, I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Speaking of Tristan, DAMN. My mans i g. He's even going as far as to stir up conflict around Retribution and Liam, presumably out of jealousy. I think we can all see where this is going...

Anywho, good chapter as usual. Definitely a lot to unpack and process here considering the sudden mood shift in the story, but thanks to you, I'm sure I'll have fun doing so every step of the way. Thanks again.

-Lex

Motivation lost...
Definitely a plot twist. Although Dark type Pokémon may be better at manipulating and their tendencies towards not being good is more likely, all Pokémon have that in their nature. All will sin and twist and manipulate to obtain their goal.
Citizens of treasure town better watch out for the next wave of backlash against Dark Types.
The other type that may get a lower tier in society may be Bug type Pokémon since they are considered weekest out of the other types.
Soon, those who sought power will certainly gain their power by means of confusion and/or following a band that sets themselves apart from the rest. Who knew that the creation of an empire may be the monster that will come back to destroy.

Yooooooooooo...

Okay, so like... damn. You already know that I had my suspicions about Tristan, but I did NOT see that coming. Holy shit. Pobresito though, like for real. Confessing to someone you've had feelings for since you first met them, just to... not even so much get rejected as SMELL someone else on them... that's gotta majorly suck. And if I'm being honest...

You portrayed how badly that would suck nigh-perfectly. I've never seen many well-written rejection scenes, but of the few I have seen that are good, this one takes the cake. Just the way Tristan reacted, like... damn, I felt that one, man. Liam's gonna be in for a surprise when he comes back, that's for sure.

I'm not gonna say anything about the beginning until I get a better grasp of what the word is with that, but I'm definitely diging the dark turn this is taking.

-Lex

Can’t say i’m surprised by this turn of events. I suppose i had hoped that it would be a false flag and Tristian would remain a lovable luxray.
Any how, can’t wait for the next chapter. Wonder what’s he going to do to selene in Liam’s absence

D A M N.

That's a breakout scene if I've ever read one. This man is ruthless, stabbing the fuck out of the guard like that (which was badass btw). Definitely major antagonist material... but I suppose we all knew that already. I'm digging the shift this story is taking.

That doesn't mean I cant appreciate what's still happening now though. Liam and Selina are getting buuuuusy. It's cute, in its own lewd way. 'Tis always nice to see... while it lasts, at least. Also nice to see the rest of Retribution getting shit done. I'll be eagerly awaiting the Marvin, Selina, and Liam meet-up scene.

Anywho... this chapter was really good. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing what happens next, especially with an ending like that.

-Lex

Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, it really got out of hand fast.

Chapter's great. Nothing too wrong with it that I can see. In any case, Vil, you're setting up something big. The pieces are all on the board, I'm sure. I've just not quite put together how they'll all be used.