I hope you can come back and update this again someday. I’d love to read more.

sweet

I love this story

I came back, and I just have to ask - is this a troll fic?

It has to be, because I just can't fathom someone honestly deciding to go about the story this way with complete seriousness. There is just no way, no way at all that you think the direction you're going in is coherent.

Kagome's nonsensical lineage and appearance choices aside, you managed to wreck the one thing I was praising the story for.

Your handling of Naraku.

You're telling me that Naraku was the puppet of a Pure Blood Vampire?
You know what, don't answer that. It's already ruined, and I doubt any explanation you gave would be able to quell my disappointment.

Now let's get to the other things that has cemented my decision to just stop here.

While Shippo's presence doesn't exactly detract from the story, his introduction in the future surely did. As far as I knew, he wasn't even present in the first chapter. With a majority of it being focused on Kagome's lineage (which I still am just baffled by) and the brief overview of her parents' history. Shippo came out of left field, but it wasn't too bad. Just random.

The next thing that I have a problem with is the conversation with Kaien or just Kagome's tendency to vomit out extremely detailed information to people, who are virtual stranges. I cannot tell you just how annoying that is to see.

Her introducing herself to Yuuki, is it necessary to explain that she is Sesshomaru's sister? His ADOPTIVE sister at that? How necessary was that for Yuuki to know, all she had to say was her name and that she was a newly enrolled student. BAM! Done! End of their conversation and the only information that Yuuki and whoever else was around, needed to know.

With Kaien, it was basically Kagome vomiting everything that was stated in the first chapter almost word for word. Why did Kaien need to know about her mother's heritage, and her grandparents' heritage? Was that somehow necessary for him to know? Her father's heritage, I can understand. He was a Pure Blood Vampire, but does he need to know that Kagome is practically this chimera walking around?

No, honestly. I personally don't see why he needs to know all of that. The readers know, and they don't need to be reminded, so that was unnecessary. I'm not even going to get started in her then continued her verbal diarrhea by spouting off about being the Shikon Miko. That nearly made me want to toss my laptop out of my window and into the storm.

Why people feel the need to have their characters so transparent is beyond me. It takes any mystery that could be built up, or just initiative for the characters to get to know each other, if you have them admitting everything that pops into their simple minds. Why would any of these characters feel like getting to know Kagome, if they learn everything from her as soon as they meet her.

The plot with the Pure Blood Vampire lady that isn't Shizuka seemingly possessing most of Kagome's soul (how, I haven't the faintest idea)...I'm not even touching it. That plot with her is not interesting, nor is this villain you're trying to make seem cunning (though she has all the subtlety of a rhino in a china shop) interesting. Thus, I'm not interested.

I had decided to see if this chapter would manage to salvage any interest I could have in this fic. However, sadly, it has not. If anything it has only pushed me to wipe my hands of it completely.

While I may not be enjoying the story, I'm sure there are plenty of other people who do.

So I wish you luck with this fic.

Before I get into what really irked me about your story so far, I will say this - I like what you did with Naraku. While it's not the same as what I have planned for him in a fic of mine, it is going along the same vein in a way. There aren't many fics that go along the redemption route for Naraku, which is refreshing. Lord knows the amount of times people bring him back as a villain due to their own lack of creativity.

However, that was only one thing I could say was worth praise from what I'm seeing.

I don't care much for the whole Inuyasha betrays Kagome thing because of Kikyo. It doesn't bother me much, beyond it being cliched as hell, but it's nothing story breaking for me. What does stick out, and in a bad way is this whole thing with Kagome suddenly being this angel/kitsune/vampire thing.

Why? Just why, did you decide on doing this?

So you're telling me that Midoriko is the offspring of an angel and Inari (who to my knowledge isn't a kitsune, just that Inari's servants are known to be kitsune btw)? Why not just go with the idea of Midoriko being the descendant of a Celestial Maiden, and not all this other stuff? Because it's honestly not making much sense at this point. Especially with Kagome having inherited everything from both of her parents.

The tails, specifically, I have a gripe with.

Midoriko didn't seem to have any tails, nor show any other sign of her supernatural lineage besides the marking on her forehead, so why would they manifest with Kagome? Why does she have tails and pointed ears when neither of her parents were described as such. And in this regard, I'm referring to the fact that you haven't stated that Midoriko looked any different from what she looked like in the anime or the brief glimpses of her from the manga. Nor have I been given the impression that the pointed ears came from her father.

Once again, bringing up the fact that Inari isn't a kistune, but is an androgynous figure with white kistune being regarded as their servants. I know that someone made Inari a fox person in the recent Story of Seasons, but it makes little to no sense here. Kagome shouldn't have tails. It's too much. Just too extra and honestly unneeded.

What does the addition of tails and pointed ears add to the overall story? Nothing, I suspect. Just something to make Kagome look more supernatural like. Which isn't needed.

Kagome's appearance and lineage are the major detractors from the story in my opinion. You could have it that she is half Celestial/half vampire, looking like a regular (albeit extremely attractive one seeing as both sides of her heritage guarantee her beauty along with the power she would surely exude) human though with her mother's mark - or something similar. If small things like her lips getting plumper, her eyelashes lengthening, and even her figure becoming more curvy would've been just fine. Those tails and ears though? Gotta go.

But this is your fanfic, so you are likely to do whatever it is that you want.

Good luck with the rest of your story.

I love this everyday more and more

This is good. Hope to see more soon.

Her mom wasn't curious about her physical change in appearance?

This is really good! I cant wait to read more

Ooo I can't wait to see how this turns out! I love the pairing idea by the way :-)

AWESOME story! Love where it's going so far :)

Rosa is good can't wait to see where this is going