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De Verdad Perfecto

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Perfecto.

I have to completely disagree with Hermione's choice if favorite Narnia books.
the magician's nephew is a terrible book

Fantastic story so far. I can't wait to read more.

Please continue the story I can’t wait to see what happens next this is is very promising and good I’ve read it twice now

I NEED to see the date with Harry!

Ookaaay! Just read your opus for the first time and loved it! My only recommendation for consideration is to separate the “parts” into different stories in a series. Makes it a bit less daunting. Although I do hate it when life intercedes in a favored story’s author, I certainly understand it. I wish you well, and hope to see a next chapter one day soon. Thanks!

This story made me tear up like almost none other has. Damn good job. Fuck.

Ps if u want to add naked sexy times but dont want to post them on ffn plz plz do so elsewhere. I have a feeling you could really do those scenes justice when they happen.

I can really see how people think the girls run roughshod over Harry, because they do. NOT A FLAME

The main problem is that it's unbalanced in most relationships it's give and take about equal but the girls don't really take from each other and give their share amongst the whole group but take a normal amount from Harry each while it's the opposite with him he'd been so afraid of driving them away he gives the normal amount, Hermione seems to get a bit more, to each girl but takes the normal amount but from the whole group.
You can see how this would easily make your audience unhappy it's completely unstable. A part of me thinks he doesn't see marrying all of them as a forgone conclusion because he doesn't see all of this working out in the future the way it is now. They seem to be part of his own mental problems as much as helping him from the Dursleys, after all it's easy to make the decisions when you have the support, like a microcism of peer pressure.

I do actually see two fairly simple ways to get a better balance and appease a lot of the naysayers.

Something I see as a forgone conclusion, especially with the tournament stress, Harry has the cliche magical-exploding outburst of emotion or the like. This can be just a giant monologue, a fight with the girl(s), maybe even division in the group from it. It will add that drama you like and force balance in reconciliation (please don't do something you've already done before like this proves he can't handle himself or is too immature).
If Fleur is entering the relationship in some way let her only be paired with Harry and Daphne. It will force a change in group dynamics, they could bond over preparations for the dragons/tasks, or just an extra somebody in his corner for support.
I'm not saying they should be Harry's bitches worshipping his manhood in the middle of the Great Hall, but give him something even if it's just the subtle confidence of a tender confession of Daphne's intent for a future together during the privacy of their date.

archleone. Please shut up . If you hate this so much just stop reading it. You can't even write your own story you just put down other real authors. Some of us like this story and want to see it through to the end. Again, shut up.

I really hope the Horcrux is gone since he died.

cool concept, but I wish you kept them in their houses which would be cooler to have them all mingle from their houses instead of just all in gryffindor getting the spotlight

This really is getting to be more and more "preteen lesbians and their pet man". Which is fine if that's what you intended, but that's not what I came into this story looking for. And among all my other complaints, this story is just really fucking boring. And everything Hermione says makes me hate her more, even when she's trying to not be as irritating.

I've read some really long, truly shit stories. Especially recently, with my forays into awful Chinese writing where the stories go on for, literally, thousands of chapter. On average. But I don't think I can sit here and read 580k words of this tripe. It's so bland and what parts aren't bland just are not a flavor I enjoy.

I think you made a lot of mistakes in this story. One semi-interesting mistake is how the more you try to make it all "equal" and "PC", the more unequal things get. The girls all get closer and closer, but Harry remains the party that is on the outside. He's less intimate, less trusted, less trusting, less, less, less. Then you have the girls all sharing a bed and sucking down each other's body odor like it's manna from heaven. Harry is on his own, barely able to sleep and suffering from intense nightmares. It's a pretty stark difference. Things would have worked out better if the bonds were more... ahem, separate, and you didn't do the whole "polyamory orgy" thing where they all have each other's soul bits tucked away. To be honest, them having pieces of Harry's souls at all was a ridiculous enough concept, but all of them each having pieces of each other's is too far and is being used as an excuse for some rather dumb and annoying shit.

Let us not forget Horcruxes and how much of a challenge making them is meant to be, how big of a deal it is, and just the kind of fucked up shit you'd need to do to even begin the process. But just some light touching was enough for the souls of three girls to each spit out three extra pieces? I don't buy it.

Good luck, I guess.

Really, the only way for this story to come out decent is for it to veer into "Harry Potter, Secret Dark Lord" territory, where he trains himself to be horrifyingly scary in the even someone fucks with him or his women. A rampage killing all known or even suspected Death Eaters would certainly paint an interesting picture. Soul Bond fics, trash that they are, tend to be extremely saccharine and full of bullshit that's obsessively "light" and good and cuddly and shit because "love can't be evil". Except it can.

Not that it would stop or change that he's a submissive little bitch where the women are concerned. It's pathetic.

This is already The Girls vs. Harry, where they act like they know more than him, they keep secrets from him "for his own good", and generally are written like they're more adult that poor little abused baby Harry.

Wasn't the point here that they're all meant to be equal? Because this is already nowhere near equal. I imagine it only gets worse as they get older, and Harry loses the "cute abused puppy" thing that have them treating him like glass, and then all that is left is their selfish desires of how they think the relationship(s) should go and he has to please them any way he can. I can already see the groundwork for that with Harry gushing over how perfect and beautiful they are compared to the worthless freak he is. Are we supposed to believe that he'll ever grow a spine and do things for himself? No, he's going to obsess over the girls forever and emasculate himself before they even get the chance just so he can prove just how thankful he is for their attention.

What do the kids call this kind of trashy, foolish behavior again? Simping? Yeah, Harry isn't ever going to become a real person because he'll spend his life worshiping three girls who are already keeping secrets from him and treating him like a child. And they're just 11. It'll only get worse from here.

Hell, even the bond itself is completely uneven. The girls have all the benefits (that have been mentioned so far. At least there isn't "You all get access to Harry's magic like it belonged to you" like some other shit bond fics have done. Well, not yet anyway) but aside from getting a scar from one of them, he hasn't felt any of the bond shit they have. But they all felt him throughout the years and use that to maintain an air of superiority. "We weren't there for your abuse, but we basically kind of know so listen to us".

Oh, let's not forget that not only are the girls hiding things from him, Harry is also a sad suicidal boy and now they all know and will treat him with more pity. As if they weren't already condescending enough.

It's kind of hilarious. This story is hitting on all of those super cliche hurt/comfort tropes. At least you haven't gone to the point of Vernon raping Harry. Right? Surely not. Usually Snape has to be involved somehow, or Harry needs to be "dark" for that one to pop up. That way he'll evil his way to being whole again. Or Snape will heal him. As his daddy or his lover. Or his leather daddy as the case may be.

It's been so long since I've read any of this HP FF shit (a couple years at this point) that I had almost forgot some of the more hilariously bad cliches. But this story has so many of them, it almost has me nostalgic. Well, were it not for how annoying these cliches are.

I never did understand why people try so hard to do the whole "soul bond, I have part of your soul and you have part of mine" thing but then don't go all the way and make that into a horcrux type situation. I mean, it's a horcrux in a living person without the effort of murdering someone and performing a ritual to split apart your soul. Why isn't everyone with a soul bond quasi-immortal?

The main thing to take away from this is that I had forgotten the golden rule: There is no such thing as a "good soul bond fic". Because they are all shit due to the very premise being garbage.