Toute histoire avec le seul personnage complexe et riche qu'est severus, je ne peux que suivre, merci

My dad used to call me then thank you again for writing the story fanfic I love you and I love your story fanfic see you soon

You know not all dads can be sweet and nice but I do love my story telling dad he was the one that got me into Harry Potter and Lord of the rings and Star Wars and Star Trek and Stargate oh the list goes on and on I'm so grateful for my daddy

yes interesting and sometimes difficult to follow. also a lot of repetitions (situation of the story) when you read all the chapters at one time! keep going and let's see what happens with his grand parents, his mother and father. what about peter? hope to read you soon!

why does a powerful magician cry like a girl? Why can't a war veteran and spy protect himself from children? Where's Lily? Snape so easily broke away from the girl he had dreamed of all his life? Seriously? A lot of holes without explanation. I understand this is your story but you brought back an adult wizard with perpetuated habits desires and demeanor. I can see how he thinks that children are such idiots and sticks Lily to his hip but he cries like a lost child.

Please update

Please, please let Snape be his (adult! Slytherin! intelligent! powerful!) self!

He would not have punched Pothead but grabbed the poison and called Sluggy over to analyze it, while giving Pothead a silent wandless sting to the balls.

He would never forget his scars and still be careful to conceal them: exposure would make him a target. He would trust only Lily, if her, to keep them secret.

Please don't make the OC a Hermione clone in personality as well as (hair!) looks. She shows more sense right now by being reluctant to name Ravenclaw when asked.

Despite my Ch. 23 remarks, I wouldn't mind seeing Lily quite OOC. Perhaps Snape could nudge her away from being a conscienceless user who flushed him away when he ceased to be of use.

I'm very glad you're doing this. I like second-chance fics because Snape deserves one. There are not too many good completed ones. I hope you continue and give him a good (not impossibly perfect) life in the end and not much torture in the middle.

I do have a number of questions, though.

Where was his adult mind at first? Your description of his waking made it clear that he knew what had happened. He knew what Tobias was: why did he not run downstairs ASAP even without shoes? He'd have faced much less fury for that than for assumed defiance.

Why did you put that long exposition (five paragraphs, one of which was ~very~ long) in the middle of a scene? It was really awkward. We already know enough about Tobias that much of it was unnecessary, and the (much shorter) necessary parts should have been put after the home scene.

When the beating started, why did Snape not, if he feared for Eileen, just refrain from resisting and pretend to pass out? His lack of response would likely have had Tobias quit and stomp out earlier.

Once he got on the train, where was Lily? No reason is given for why they're not together. If he were alone, he'd have sought out an empty compartment at the very end of the train, but you didn't say he got on the train alone or mention Lily at all. If she was there and the argument happened as before (and why didn't Snape avoid it?), why did they both not leave Pothead and Joker to go to another compartment? Surely he wouldn't have left her with them.

Also, I personally - again, he's supposed to have retained his memories and his adult, Slytherin, strategizing mind - just cannot see his breaking down in front of Lupin, of ~all~ people! Lupin was an arrant moral coward who not only failed to stop the Potter gang's torture of Snape but actually joined in, even while a prefect. It's fanon that he did not participate actively; in canon he did. Snape would gouge out his own eyes before crying in front of the bastard.

I think he would, though, probably seek Lupin out on the train to converse with him fake-cordially, so Pothead and Joker couldn't get at Lupin first with their slander.

It's your fic and you absolutely can (and may) do with it whatever you like, but I hope you'll consider carefully how closely you wish to hew to canon ~and~ make it a point to provide plausible reasons for departures from it. That includes having characters with near- or canonical personalities' showing uncharacteristic behavior. The question of Lily's unexplained absence is a huge one.

I like your story but there's still something I don't understand. Why is Severus not defending himself better ? He is still a full grown wizard inside his head with decades of knowledge in magic behind him. How come he can't even fend off two eleven years old brat ? When they launch the petrificus totalus on him and all these other sortilege, why couldn't he do anything ?

I'll be looking forward for the sequel ;)

I love your Juliette character so much! Remus has always been one of my favourite Marauders era characters so I absolutely love the trio! Can’t wait to see how this pans out, but don’t rush yourself!

This story is great so far and I’m looking forward to reading on, but some parts are becoming rather unrealistic. The free way that Sev admits what was done to him was borderline, but what Sev said to Lily no abused child would ever say. Sorry for the criticism, but I really like where this story is going! I don’t know if that’s how you were trying to portray Sev so sorry if I’m wrong, but I broke up with my boyfriend so I wouldn’t have to talk about my childhood and no one else I’ve known would give it away so readily. And now, I will read on :)

I love this fic! Please continue!

Nice. Keep smiling. :-)