oh no this is so sad (and written sO WELL you've been so on top of the game recently ahhh) it's so upsetting how ethan's isolating himself from cal even through cal would probably love to hear from him. ethan's outburst is worrying and he's really not in a good place right now. i just want to hug hiiiimmmm

I love the way you write Lily. Ethan’s loneliness and desperation really comes across here, I almost want to reach through the screen and shake them all until they help him. Ethan and Lily’s debate over the patient was incredibly cleverly done, reading this, right from the start of that conversation you get the impression that there are so many hidden layers to their literal words to one another. Very glad I started reading this!

The opening of this chapter in particular tugged on my heart strings. I think you have Ethan’s relationship with Cal spot on, he finds him frustrating and beyond irritating at times and Mollie moving in is a prime example, but at the end of the day he still loves him, and that’s why he lets Cal get away with everything he does. You write them so well.

This is so realistic it's honestly painful to read. I think you have Ethan bang on, it's obviously a very different situation to any we've seen him in on the show, but it feels so accurate for his character. I especially loved the scene with Connie, they have such an interesting relationship.

I will be back for more later!

I was a little hesitant to start this, it's been on my 'want to read but not sure' for a while, nothing to do with your writing, purely because, as you may have already guessed, I have a lot of issues with food and weight- mostly from giving up stupidly competitive sport when I was a teenager and being absolutely terrified of putting on weight overnight when I did. And I'm a little worried about you having read the first two chapters, because you have absolutely nailed it. Ethan's thoughts come across as so logically illogical- I have no idea if that makes any sense at all, but it's the best way I can explain it. I love the structure of this chapter too, there's a real sense of impending doom as it moves along, and Ethan's progression is so believably heartbreaking. Wish I'd started this sooner!

Holy crap that was worth the wait! I love the way this story of Ethans struggle is written and would love to see the story have Ethan deteriorate further until he needs medical intervention. I'm so happy my last review encouraged another chapter and I can't wait for the next one!

I'm so pleased you updated. And also, I don't know if this is a strange thing to comment on, but sometimes when I've not written something for while I sort of forget the feel of it, but this is all perfectly in keeping with the tone and style of what has come before. The emotions are so powerful in your writing and I felt as if I was right there with Ethan as he struggled. I like the character of Agnes. I am glad there's a hint of positivity there at the end though and I can't wait to see what happens next. Wonderful!

I've just read this entire fic and it's probably the best I've ever read. Is this finished because I'm dying to read more about Ethan!

These past few chapters have been so well done. Ethan's first day there was so well written. His struggles and how he wanted to call Cal and was worried about him and then by the end he changed his mind because of the day's events was so sad. I hope he calls him soon or Cal visits, being alone in a place like that is only going to make everything harder. But I'm so glad that Cal and Mollie have patched things up and talked a bit about the baby and Cal's fears. They need to be strong in themselves and be strong for Ethan. It's going to be a long process and I hope they can all get through it. Really well written!

Aww I love this part, emotional but not in the painful way of the previous chapter (which, I still loved too btw despite the rawness). I'm so pleased that they have reconciled and Cal took the news, and the way which it was initially revealed to him, so well. Sweet that he told Mollie his fears about becoming like his dad and good as always to hear about their childhood. I'm worried about how Ethan will take the news when (when? if?) Cal tells him - it could go either way, be something he needs to get better for, or be another reason to feel that he's on his own, not part of the family etc.

So much I’ve picked out that I love. One of the last lines, ‘as familiar as mornings’ was such a gorgeous simile and really conveyed the sense you were going for to the reader. I had to copy and paste this entire paragraph though:

“Twenty bites. They're quick. Quicker it's done, less time there is to worry. A seamless theory; hard to put into practise. These first ten bites are on the left side of the mouth, and they're getting progressively slower as time passes. Then ten on the right. Sometimes, five more, ruining the neat twenty. Then swallow. Ball hands up, breathe through the nausea. Try again. Hold the spoon with trembling hands.”

The staging, the slow and almost excruciating process of battling with himself and overcoming the mental and emotional hurdles — all of it is well explored. I think the short sentences are what makes it most effective. Almost as if he’s having each individual thought, one after the other after the other, because the moment is so intense.

Love character relationships as usual and thought they were done justice. Poor old Ethan still has quite a fair way to go. Glad I’ve caught up with this now! Xx

when i got the notification saying its updated i shouted "yassssssss" so loud my neighbour opened bet window and shouted at me

i love . love .love this !

This was such a sad chapter but expertly written as always. I can picture everything so clearly from your descriptions and really feel Ethan's pain and desperation. I just really love your writing skills and all the little details you so cleverly include. I can't help but hope things start to look more positive for Ethan soon but then at the same time know it's a long road and love the realism of this.

Ooh Cal knows! I love the twist that he was awake, I wasn't expecting that. I can't decide whether he'll confront her about it or pretend he hadn't heard. Fantastic writing as always. I love the way you play with words, particularly in this chapter 'the smile on Cal's face after she said it is something she'd paint if she had any artistic ability at all', and all the detail you give with everything, brings the characters alive.

Uh oh, he’s heard her, I wonder if he’ll keep quiet or confront her.