This is the second I read this and would love a sequel. As maybe toby becomes the king of the mountains or something.

I read the story with a rather sick fascination. This study of a world in which every person is in one way or another harshly subject to inflexible rules of conformity is mind blowing. It reminds me appreciate my own circumstances. Freedom is valuable. Thank you.

I’m fine with the darkness in this story... the only thing I didn’t like about it was the fact that he really did love Carrie a lot...so much so that he would cry for her and mourn her death that way. It just makes me feel like Sarah was his second choice or second best, and that he picked her because he felt that he had no choice since Carrie left him and that she (Sarah) would make a good ‘mother’ to his child so it was more of a practical decision and not because he truly loved her. He was even willing to let her go and not take her back in the end (her last escape). The whole story just made me feel that if Carrie didn’t change he would still have preferred to be with Carrie and if she were to change her mind and want to go back to him, he would have dropped Sarah like a hot potato and lived happily ever after with Carrie...

wow im really fucking late but jc this is the best labyrinth fanfiction i have ever read. plus its my favortie Movie from the 80s. and the book was great but this is amazing giving great detail and everything. jfc i feel ashamed for being this late and even if the creator is probably not here i would like to give a great thank you , you wonderful person for making this. so far it has made me feel so many emotions and Fr The FEELs are strong af. and still hope that you are online today to make another for the time being with great respect

-ThAt KiD

This is my 3rd time reading this great story. You're amazing and I look forward to reading your future stories ;)

I honestly... don't even know how to feel. I did stick around until the end because I NEED closure on stories but even so. I think it's the fact that usually when I read, I latch onto at least one character. There's usually one that, even if certain quirks irritate me, that I find myself invested in. Because who doesn't like getting wrapped up in a story? The overall story was really well done and I like the ending that you can look at from both sides. But all of these characters was beyond frustrating. It's just very rare that I find a story that the plot draws me and I hate all the characters. Even Sarah was extremely unlikable. The plot started off so good and interesting and then with no character development and no climax, they all just fell into place at the end. I'm glad I read it. It just didn't go anywhere and I feel like I've wasted my time a bit.

Such a great fanfic, I never expected one with more than 450 000 words and all about my beloved Sarah and Jareth, amazing! Thank you so much for all the work, I wish you the best for your future as an author! I started to read your story 2 days ago, I spent hours and hours, such a great pleasure! You have fans in Germany, THANX for everything!

Omg I was looking all over for your story ( I wasn't done with it ) and now I can finish it woot happy day!

oh my gosh - I actually had tons of fun reading this story even if the premise is something of 'barbaric trashy, unshowered king repeatedly rapes and abuses very annoying, basically illiterate, moronic woman.' I've also had tons of fun reviewing it.

your fic definitely impacted me quite deeply - I was recently at the Met, and passed a few old, Byzantine mosaic art works from...you guessed it...Constantinople. I so remembered Sarah from your story and that she hadn't had a basic history lesson to know where and what Constantinople was - then I started giggling. Probably never stepped foot inside a museum, that one. My mom was all 'what's so funny?'

Anyways, I don't think it's a happy or sad ending - it's 'an' ending. Maybe a realistic one.

I loved this story when it was first published. And although I reread the whole thing I find myself completely detached from the last few chapters this time around. Much like you have grown as an author, your original audiance has grown as readers.

I have to unfortunately agree with many of the perviouse commenters in saying that the last third, specifically the last three chapters don't seem to fit. They are a bit rushed and seem cobbled together. And several happenings in the final chapter appear to come from way out of left field. ( i. e. Sarah being happy with Jareth impergnating her) I get that she made to choice to return with him, to follow his rules, and that we don't have the telling of the time between her decision and Toby's 'teen years' but Sarah does a total 180. This is obiously MY opinion and nothing to be hung up on. I just thought I would voice it.

Once again I love your writing, and hope nothing but greatness for you in the future, but I do believe we are a bit to "old" for this.

You at"I'll are semliterate in grammar and spelling,so your skills have not increased much.

Writing reviews on things (esprcially fanficyions) or starting your own blog of eternal stench to do so doesn't make you a "critic". And the thing everyone knows about actual real critics that get paid is that their critiques amount to nothing compared to anything they review that someone else put their effort into whether it's good or bad. You're just a troll trolling ray ray. You're only fooling yourself otherwise. On here trying to put down an ameture writer like you're any better. Troll. Obviously your the minority for the stats liking this one.

To be absolutely clear to all involved. I read this BECAUSE I wanted to see how bad it got, as I had the fic that turned into Fifty Shades of S$# , Master of the Universe. I used to laugh my butt off at that one, and this was just as enjoyable...untill it became clear that this didnt have the legs to GROW. Go anywhere. Just the same gory, listless scenes...just like a bad Asylum film. I also know I dont write well, and I dont care. Its not my form of expression. I mostly published what I did to get out some stream of thought I had. Im a film/music/TV critic and doll designer. I have no illusions ab out a career in writing nor did I ever think my work was great. Although I doubt anyone who dissed me on it actually READ my work. And BTW, calling me Ray Ray only makes YOU look dumb. Its RY-anne. Its like putting the wrong EhPHAsis on the wrong syLLABles.

R

Ignore dear old Ray Ray. She's just upset your writing is better than hers so she is lashing out. It's what petty insecure people do. Not all stories are love stories. Some of the best stories are tragedies. I read this as one. It's much like the story of Hades and Persephone. Doesn't need to be happy to be good.

I did find it extremely startling that Satah glossed over her father's murder so easily. Especially as it was partly Jareth's fault by kidnapping Sarah and making way for the changeling to take her place. It seemed she brushed it off so easily and that was entirely out of character.

Also, I have the original of this story and I'm not seeing where you made any changes. You said this version was "New and improved" but I didn't see anything new. No new scenes or dialogue.

In closing it is a good read. It invokes strong emotions and imagination. As stories are supposed to do. Doesn't mean they have to make us happy. Many of your readers would never make it through a George R. R. Martin book. Rape, incest, murder, ect. And yet Game of Thrones is so popular. Books are better than the show though.

Interesting story. I appreciated it. Thank you. The ending was just like i remebered and i love that you dont give the normal theyre in love ending. The people that come on here and talk shit about it but keep reading it confise me too. Obviously very bored very sad people if they put so much time and effoet into something they hate. Why not just move on and get on their lives like another reviewer suggested? Ray-ray you talk a lot of shit about this one for having such pathetic fav and review numbers on your own stuff. Maybe just jealous?
Any way, looking forward to seeing more, and I started reading your original on kindle select and am loving it so far! Will def buy the digital too!