i like this, even though it hurts.
at what point do you think that this is the way merlin feels? b/c it seems to me that season 1 and episode 1 begins with his reluctance and amusement at arthur's obliviousness and he lies almost blithely...
there's irritation, later on, when arthur says stuff out of ignorance and it seems to /get to/ merlin. and then... seasons 4 and 5, maybe? after he's told and knows that arthur's on limited time?...

This was beautifully written and equally painful and rewarding to read. I just love everything about this, so thanks for writing this and sharing it, it was honestly a thrill to read.

...wow...just, wow...(in a good way, I just have no other words)

Such an amazing little piece. I loved it. Poor Merlin :(

Thank you for writing this story. As I read it, it almost seemed as if I was in that dream state myself. A very moving description of despair, resignation and guilt. Would you do a second chapter or sequel for redemption, acceptance and inner peace? I think Merlin deserves that.

Beautiful and very sad.
Many thanks