ok, so in chapter one when Hermione got the letter from Snape she is like "he is one of the best potioner in wizarding world" and now she is shocked that someone thinks he is the best in Europe?

Great chapter! hope you can get better, take care. :)

Lol...the mental picture of Severus on the the dinning room table w/o pants and a cotton ball of wine on his lips...as the extended family checks out the goods!

I’m honestly so surprised how well thought out and explored your world is. So often fanfiction ignores the side friendships and the work and the family so they can focus on a Singular Relationship ... and while I can’t wait for them to get together properly, I’m so interested in everything else that is going on. It really feels like real life, so good job with that. Can’t wait to see what happens next, but don’t feel rushed. You can’t rush good things!

When do we get more! I was up until 2am binge reading this lol.

LOVED IT!

Please update soon!

I hope that ronalda and lavender gets a right punishment

I hope Hermione finds her path soon

I like the changing points of view. While Hermione's POV could easily be melodramatic, it seems more like normal uncertainty. I am glad she is recognizing what she lost of herself while in the relationship with Ron.

3

Very nice...sweet! While I do enjoy some Molly bashing, it is great to see Molly and the other Weasleys loyal to Hermione and voicing strong anger toward Ron and his new girlfriend.

I particularly like that Hermione has friends. Her personality-and ongoing swottiness-sets her up to be isolated, and that's not good for her (or anyone).

I like the relationship between Hermione and Severus, too. It's good that Severus has friends, too, to help him with his relationship angst.

Thank you for writing! I have bookmarked and subscribed!

I’m enjoying your story, and it’s fun to read knowing you are committed to the long haul. Hermione and Snape are a favorite pairing of mine.

I don’t normally leave anything resembling a critique in a review, but because you are so committed and I am looking forward to reading more, please consider this gently meant suggestion.

I’m struggling with Hermione’s age in this because I don’t think I’d have these remarks if she was 30 or more. But, here she is 23? Or so. She is maybe a year or two, max, out of college? In my best timeline, she earned two masteries, and then began working at the ministry. She’s, while very young without much work experience, but suddenly second in line to be minister of magic. One of the premises of the story is that she needs work experience, thus taking the job with Snape, and in another she is talking to the new hires like she understands what it is to be living poor out of college as though that was a long time ago, but it wouldn’t be. She is only a year older. It’s incongruous. Also, at one point you say that she is working for the ministry just to make money and then will quit and on the other hand saying that she wants to be minister.

So, could you please give us a little more beyond flat and contradictory statementsshow not tell. What makes Hermione so exceptional at being a ministry employee that she is next in line within a span of a couple of years? War heroine only goes so far. Why is she in this position over many more experienced people than herself who would have, likely, a more qualified resume? What of her character that makes her the old soul type?

This leads me into my next area of observation. Hermione acts her age in terms of emotional maturityshe is often unable to directly face her problems and falls apart. She in no way definitively handled Ron, leaving much of that to others. It’s fine for a romance story, but it’s not a good quality in a business owner or minister. Also, she claims she doesn’t have kids, but she basically mothers everyone around her. I’d like to see her and Snape’s relationship be less mothering and more intimate. I think there is also an opportunity to draw on canon here. Hermione was tortured and scarred. Ron deserted Hermione and Harry in the horcrux hunt. In your story, she acted as an exceptional healer and friends died. Emergency aid workers often deal with grief from that kind of continuous trauma exposure. Even without inventing more, there is a way to show how the war creates trauma for Hermione and it’s a point of connection and healing with her and Snape. It could also be a way of showing us why her struggles with Ron are perhaps the weakest part of her personality, why she is so insecure towards her relationship with Snape, and why she is qualified to be minister.

I’ve seen comments where you are furious at commenters. I sincerely hope that I am not the target of one of them. I’m interested in your story, and on the whole, I think you are doing a good job. I also think that fixing some of these character and plot inconsistencies will turn this from a good story to a much stronger one. Best of luck and happy writing!

Ended too soon! Ha, loved the update hun!

I only received fly came across your story, and wanted to tell you that you write so BEAUTIFULLY! I've been moved to tears on every occasions and I can't wait to read more. Love how you are enveloping Hermione and Severus' relationship. You have such great a beautiful imagination and I can tell, a great heart. I can't wait for the next chapter!

More soon please