One thing i have to say about this chapter : adorable. Great job. Have a nice day

Yay. An adorable girl joined the Saiyan squad. Nice dialogue between Raditz,Kadikashi and Goku,but you need to work on the grammar and put space between senten este. Nonethless, great job. Have a nice day

Poor Akita. She expects a reaction from Bardock and vb she gets nothing. The end of the chapter was a bit rushed,but it decent. Have a nice day

Great start for a chapter. 2 problems with this chapter thought: 1) they were no showers in Planet Vegeta 2) you should have wrotte Akita as being unable to control her urges and tell Bardock that he does not needs to worry about anybody finding out because this will be a one night stand only. Great chapter nonethless. Have a nice day

The chapter had a great start,but it also had 2 flaws,which were the following:
1) Planet Vegeta does not has water,so how the hell does Saiyans even bath themsealf? As a sugestion,edit this part out of the story.
2) Akita and Bardock was too forced. Have Akita be dissapointed that Bardock did not notice her,but dont have her seduce him because Bardock would reject her and it would break her heart. As a sugestion,have Akita try to get to know Bardock after he lands on Eohiri before mating with him. In all,it is a decent start for a story. Just fix the mistakes,alright? May the force be with you.

Yay. Finally updated. Gohan and Tomata are so cute,that they will become an OTP,but in a platonic way or romantic way depending of reviews we receive. Awww,thanks partner,but this was all you that managed to do such a great job with this chapter. I am proud of you. By the way,September 1 is my birthday. Have a nice day.

It's a great story

This is an awesome chapter. I still dont get it why you are depressed,but if you need help,i can always act as Doctor Philby and help you out. I definatly love the character development i gave to Bardock by bringing Tomata. Next chapter,we will focus on what happens on New Namek when both Vegeta and Nappa are not only just killing Namekians,letting only Dende alive, and taking the Dragon Balls,but Babidi with Yakon and Pui Pui appear taking 2 of the Dragon Balls with them and taunts Vegeta and Nappa in coming to their ship if they want the Dragon Balls before teleporting. The training with the Z Sword begins as each saiyan try to take the sword one by one,but they fail until Raditz says in a tired tone that only by destroying that holds the rock within would release the sword. But even they would have to keep together the sword in their hands as the swords seems to be heavy. Bardock tells Raditz that its actually a good ideea since worked himsealf in a team and orders his sons to take position in order to fire from a different angle and grab the sword together getting themsealf powered up at maximum. Tomata and Gohan accidentally get their first kiss on the lips while playing and while the mothers cooo at how cute they were,they wow to dont Bardock about this.
Great chapter once again,fight the depression with the awesomeness of the author that you are and have a nice day.

Awww. This was such a adorable chapter. But you could not help yoursealf,could you? You just had to reveal the special transformation,dont you? * trows hands in the air in mock exasperation*
Kinda glad that you did not reveal where Tomata came from,otherwise you would have blown all the mistery off. Anyway,its time that we focus on New Namek Saga by bringing the Supreme Kai in the next chapter. Have a nice day with adorable ducks.

Wow. This was awesome. But i remember saying that Tomata has violet eyes,not purple. And you forgot to writte that she has a tail. Aside that,you still need to put paragraphs separately,but i am sure you can do it,because i believe in you. Good job on keeping Tomata origins a mistery by the way,because it fits with the fic perfectly,which ironically is about mistery. Dont forget,when Tomata will achieve that form i told you about,she will only be able to stay 5 minutes because of the strain that puts on her body. Hope that you like Tomata,because there is an lack of female saiyans and i am sure that it will lead to adorable moments between Akita,Tomata and Gohan when he arrives. Have a nice day.

cant wait for goku and bardock to meet

well write chapter 2 and write another fanfic on goku and bardock reuniting

This chapter was good,but it still needs gaps and separate paragraph. Just double check the story in order to make sure you take out the mistakes,otherwise some people who read this story might want a bag where he can barf. In my case trought,i would cry like a little girl. Make sure you fix the mistakes,listen to some awesome music and have a nice day.

cant wait for next chapter and make sure you make paragraphs as in gaps.

I love your story, but can you make separate paragraphs? It's really hard to read. Thank you!