GREAT START HOPE THAT YOU CONTINUE THIS

My heart always sinks when I see another SF1 novelization. No one but Archone has finished one, and no one but JunXD has written one that wasn't completely terrible. But I'm the self-appointed reviewer of all Shining fanfics, so let's assess this one:

The thing that sticks out most, as ironsunflower already noted, is that the pacing is too fast. You jump from encounter to encounter with virtually no transitions, and then blow through conversations so quickly that vital information is left out. The impression is that you're simply trying to get the novelization done as fast as possible and are unconcerned with making it good.

The prose is hard to read due to the numerous run-on sentences, and the conversation with Mae in particular is baffling. Why are Max and Lowe concerned with preventing Varios from seeing his daughter? And how could "Father spends more time with you than me" possibly be said "jokingly"? It's hard to even think of a comment that would make a conversation any more awkward.

The changes you made to the game's story, most notably King Guardiana and Max knowing from the beginning that Darksol was behind everything, are poorly unexplained and simply don't work as well as the original story. With the head villain's identity known from the get-go, there's much less room for the story to develop.

This is a great idea just try to make the story a little believable if your gonna change stuff also would you please add Domingo to the story he's in the dragon like statue in the city where anti is

I like it, but I guess the pacing is too fast, cant wait for the next chapter

I like it, but I guess the pacing is too fast. I cant wait for the next chapter