I don't understand why almost every writer in fanfic decides to keep Jaune a weakling, both physically and mentally? He is already very pathetic and almost useless in the canon version. At least make him stronger and with an above average mind? Is that really hard to do?

Your grammar seems to be getting progressively worse as I keep reading. I don't remember any mistakes in chapter one and it was brilliant. This chapter is so full of them it feels like broken English. Is English not your first language and the earlier chapters the only ones you got an editor for?

Ah fanon overprotective Yang with anger problem again.

RIP

Isn't a jacaranda a tree? I am surprised you actually made the team names work. I haven't seen many original team names but yours is actually quite nice. That type of tree comes in one the literally best shade of purple ever. Though if the flowers of the tree get too much sun, like a typical street tree, it looks closer to a real dark shade of pink.

I find the morbidness of Ozpin's thoughts hilarious. I hope he has more scenes like that.

This was so fun to read! The character growth and dynamic was so satisfying, ten outta ten my dude! Now to read your other stuff, mwahahahahaha!

I appreciate knightfall as much as anyone, especially if it comes alongside other Jaune pairs, but why on earth did Cinder not take Emerald and Mercury with her as fellow students? That was the original plan as Haven transfers after all. Why not just enroll them and Neo as students and ensure they ended up together? It seems like an unnecessary additional complication.

Cinder also seems a little too forgiving in this as well, of Mercury especially. His insubordinate attitude is something that would kill him for, without question, especially considering that it comes on the tail end of such a drastic disaster.

I understand it's comedy, but it doesn't seem to be CRACK comedy, and Cinder loses a huge amount of credibility and threat when she behaves the way she does in the fic.

Still, I always appreciate an attempt at knightfall, and I'm curious to see if her selfish interest blossoms into anything resembling a relationship.

ahh,this was a nice change of pace.

team RVBY would have worked a lot better!

more...more...MOREEEEE!

You can't end the story like this! There is a sequel,right?RIGHT?!

This was great, super funny and VERY original. Thank you!

Damn this was a nice little read, I'd you ever decide to write a sequel for this you have my support.

Oh well this is going to go well