Update please.

this is the greatest crossover story I've read. I hope you're continuing to update it

Romance with Ciri

I hope this story continues

That crossover with fable sounds good. I prefer the first two

Interesting

Please update and continue

I love it, can't wait for more.

I agree with Twinkie Main: a HaloXWitcher crossover is a cool idea, but this story and the execution leaves much to be desired. I don't want to shit-talk your story, so I'll try to be as constructive as I can.

You have too many run on sentences. Once again, Twinkie Main and I agree. Experiment with different phrase lengths. Read it out loud. A good paragraph rolls a certain way, and suggests a rhythm or a meter without being poetry. Periods and commas indicate where the mind can rest. A run on sentence, conversely, makes the reader agonize through endless descriptors, adjectives and adverbs, phrases and actions that by the time you've made a point, the reader is exhausted mostly because you gave them no time to think or to ponder or to imagine or to wonder or to rest! I began to grow weary of the walls of text so much that I began skipping whole paragraphs! It turns out that reading the first line of paragraphs was usually all I needed. I don't doubt that there are some who love your paragraphs, but there might be some who might find it a chore.

Why do you keep referring to the same characters with various titles in short intervals? I find it distracting and disruptive when you refer to Alex as "The Hyper Lethal Vector" in one sentence and then "Noble Six" the next. Then suddenly he's the "Grim Reaper of insurectionists"? I don't see why you couldn't just call him Alex, Or "The Spartan" since there's only one of him. Same with respect to Geralt - just call him Geralt since they are familiars at this point. Maybe you feel it's dynamic and interesting to change titles all the time. To be honest, it can work, but not the way you're doing it. For example, I would not call Geralt the Butcher of Blaviken during the training scenes with Alex, Eva and Ciri because we don't need to remember that he butchered those folks at this time. Simply calling him "the White Wolf" or even "The Seasoned Witcher" would suffice, especially when referencing Ciri. All I'm saying is be mindful of how you present their alternate titles because they add additional -or unnecessary- context.

This is more of a complaint, but I feel you've characterized Alex as a bit of show-off prick. It's fine, I guess. I just find his condescendence miss-placed. Unless he really is some kind of hot head, I feel like he wouldn't underestimate his surroundings. Yes, I know he knows he can't fight with a sword as good as Geralt or Ciri. And it seems like the Drowners took him by surprise, but earlier chapters suggest that he thinks nothing is going to beat him. Perhaps this is just part of his character arc? Which leads me to another point...

Is this story some elaborate way to show how cool Spartans are compared to Witchers? Or does he not have some really important task, such as get the AI back to Earth? I feel like a discussion of portals must be in the works, yeah? But here our boy is, eyeing Triss's cleavage and "supple lips". I get that you're trying to mirror the beats of Geralt - that is, of a man raising an orphan to fight and be independent. Sorry, I know it's fan fiction and that ff authors can indulge themselves a little too much when they cross their favorite characters together, but the story and pacing ultimately suffer. I hope you get back on track soon.

Also, remember that everything you say points towards a character or trait of a character. I think this is why "E" had so much trouble with your description of Triss. Why tell us about her cleavage and supple lips if Alex isn't thinking about those things? Unless you're trying to illustrate a quality of Triss OTHER THAN her being beautiful, it comes across as too specific, out of place and jarring, at least for me.

Also, sometimes I can't help but feel I'm reading the first draft of a chapter written on your phone...

If you disagree with everything I've said, I understand. I've been accused of being overly critical, before. I don't like flaming for the sake of flaming, otherwise I wouldn't have taken the time to say all this. Do what you want. Have fun. Good on you for writing fanfics, especially with such a bizarre crossover. Makes me wanna write one.

I admittedly have mixed feelings about this story.

For one, I'm happy that there are Halo/Witcher stories such as this in the works, since there are not very many currently in existence (I'm aware of another Halo/Witcher story that is incredibly well-written, but for all intents and purposes is dead in the water unfortunately). This story has an amazing premise and potential. I hope it grows to become something great in the future.

However, with that aside, I feel like there are plenty of issues that need to be addressed. For one, the story is plagued with a lot of grammatical issues and run-on sentences, with some so severe that they sometimes disrupts my reading experience. Also, you seem to put a lot of emphasis on descriptions, which in itself is not exactly bad, but overdone heavily can lead to them becoming clunky and awkward to read (at least personally).

A good example would be Ciri's introduction in the third chapter, which I'm aware you had already addressed to another reviewer. While I don't have that much of an issue with it as "E", and do appreciate the effort put into it, I feel like the problem was still there. It was a bit clunky and awkward. A much simpler approach would have been more than adequate, without being too "bland and boring" as you had put it.

Here's my approach:

"The young girl had ashen-white hair, with loose bangs flowing down her heart-shaped face. Surrounded by black mascara, her emerald eyes conveyed both curiosity and disapproval that were similarly displayed on her soft facial features and light scowl.

Her outfit was rather unconventional, in this world's standards to Noble Six's knowledge, but thankfully appeared practical. Consisting of a white blouse, brown leather girdle, and a metal belt that housed a sheathed dagger, it was likewise complemented by brown trousers and light brown boots, as well as a pair of gloves that were placed on her hips. On her back was a steel sword, held firmly by a strap placed across her chest."

You get the picture? This description is a bit smaller and simpler, but still delivers the same punch without it becoming awkward or boring. Hopefully you can take this feedback into consideration.

Can't wait to see more in the future! :)

So fucking slow

i'm really loving this story so far

Hey You should make a love triangle between noble six, ciri and triss, I like your story

My problem was mostly just with that specific word, I've never heard it not used in a way that implies sensually attractive and that's contextually an odd descriptor to use. I also did not mean to imply her purpose only being for Six, but rather just the way she was talked about in the story seems to represent her that way. I've read some of your other stories and they seem kind of fantasy-like, in that it's some kind weird set up just to get X character to fuck hot women. I like the concept for this story and wanted it to have more depth than that, that's why I commented that I didn't like the use of supple. Just seemed oddly sexual for the encounter.

Hey there idea crossover for you.
Witcher and Akame ga kill crossover
Oc as the witcher
Oc x Akame x Esdeath romance relationship