WTF, ADRIEN! You FUCKING WHORE! YOU DON'T JUST WALK INTO SOMEONES BEDROOM AND KISS THEM WHILE THEY SLEEP! THAT'S JUST CREEPY!

I know you said you would be working on some other stories and changing this one up a bit but I hope you’re able to come back to this one soon! I’ve really enjoyed reading it and am excited to read more!

...I am rather confused about alya just appearing and finding him out like that. it felt less organic and I don't particularly care fo her automatically assuming tha Adrien was playing with her girls feelings. I think as soon as she saw who he was she would have been able to figure out quite easily what his plan was or at least wouldn't have snapped o accused him of doing jerk things so easily. after all she knows chat has been dealing with a lot of shit and finding out chat is Adrien puts it suddenly in a lot more perspective that makes neither mari o Alya look good. especially since Alya was purposefully trying to get under chat's skin a bit while as her super hero fox persona.
I mean it makes sense that Alya would would irritated because chat wasn't super impressed with her off the bat even though ladybug was talking her up because Alya had dreamed about being a super hero and hanging with her heros and it wasn't going how she wanted.
however Alya was clearly distracted by her own personal feelings on wanting things to go swimmingly as a hero that she never thought about how it would look from chat's perspective. After all Ladybug does not always have a good record of keeping her feelings out of the battles and its clear ladybug had a personal connection with her even before he figure out she was Alya. that person biased feeling would not help chat trust her even more because both alya and mai were so excited to wok together that its rather forgotten that alya is a newbie. she doesn't have the same experience. alya can be over confident as well.
Alya might be mai's best friend but Adrien might be mari's boyfriend but as chat he knows her at better. I kindof want Alya to realize chat is also mari's best friend. chat does know mari better on at least one aspect of her that Alya and I think Alya should acknowledge that friendship/partnership as being impotant at somepoint because at this point Alya seems to think Alya knows best.
I think Alya should think over her sudden understanding that chat is Adrien and how Alya hasn't been acting the best either.
sure it changes thhings knowing chat is Adrien but Alya should acknowledge that even without knowing chat is Adrien she should have been moe understanding when it came to chat and how it would like like to him. have alya acknowledge alya wasn't exactly innocent here.
of course for later. specifically after she tells mai about what chat's plan actually was and gets mari settled in. of course mai could ask how alya knows and alya could say she talked to chat for a bit who was unsure of what to do since ladybug clearly hadn't reacted well to him showing her the first half of his idea(which is the truth). mari of course could feel a bit embarased because she had cried over it just to find out later chat actually had a pretty good idea/sweet idea of having civilian marinette live there. it would also give mari a hint that chat can be a little sensitive since he bought it and ha planned to return it to mari who cared for it so and give her a sublte hint in the back of her mind.
I do like Alya wanting him to just reveal himself because she wanted to just have her happy hero experience with everyone knowing. but I do think Alya needs to listen to Adrien and talk to him one on one and not rush him into revealing himself. after all mainette didn't want to know who chat was and honestly as the new person alya has no right to rush him into revealing himself, especially since neither Alya nor mari considered revealing themselves to chat before even though they knew about eachother.
Alya is obviously biased toward mari but I do think itt would do Alya some good if she realizes just how mixed up Adrien/chat feels about this and how he is actually right and has good reason to feel as conflicted as he does.
after all Alya knows how mai wet though her nerves just to finally bag Adrien as a boyfriend but he also knows how those nerves never exactly went fully away. and Alya never actually knew that Adrien had been in love with someone before mari. someone he considered one of his best friends who ejected him all the time and who he came to terms and dealt with his heartbreak but moved on and fell for mari. how would anyone feel finding out they had gotten over and moved on from someone just to find out they fell for that someone all over again. heck mari was so flustery and word faily and nervious around chat mari is lucky Adrien fell for her all over again.
mari might have dealt with a secet crush but Adrien never rejected mari and always did his best to complimnt he orr make her feel comfortable even when he wasn't openly aware of his feelings. he complimented her, danced with her, gave up his plce in a tournament for her. made her a luckcharm, translated for her and he uncle, got her autograph.
and tha was while he wasn't aware that he was crushing on mari.
and Adrien had to deal with his secret crush as well as his rejection and heartbreak with basically no support or advice and was still willing to fall in love again. Alya had to deal with mari having a break done over hypothetical rejections orr bad situations or just talking to the dude. I think it would be good if Alya started to realize her girl's tunnel vision on just Adrien as wwell as her comfort with chat to the degree she doesn't think much is wrong even when chat was clearly being hurt and upset and not having ladybug go out of her way to listen to how chat feels about the situation and addressing those feelings because she things chat would come around eventually would have some consequences.
specifically Adrien being hurt by mari keeping secerts and not exactly trustigng either of him like how he trusts her.
It would be nice if it took Alya a bit to realize that Adrien has had actually legit reasons for his own behavior. heck even if his not exactly best plan to confirm or ceny since he planned anyway to give it to marinette regardless I think Alya would even be on Adrien's side that he had the right to want to confirm or deny if his girlfriend is ladybug. heck once alya fully realizes just how the love square had gone I bet alya would get irritated that her girl hadn't given into a reveal before. after all alya as a hero reaped benefits of mari knowing and alya knowing ladybug was mari.
plus Alya DID have to deal with a lot of effort nd failed plans to just get mari to talk to Adrien, let alone get them to the point they are boyfriend and girlfriend. to find out her girl had been ejecting her boy and cockblocking herself that whole time is going to drive alya up the wall with annoyance!
Adrien did eventually think his plan was not good enough with the house situation and underhanded because he is a sensitive sweetheart but it would be amazing if alya was 100% on boar with saying he was ight to do that. after all if he hadn't mai would have had to deal wth someone else having her childhood home.
The ocs were interesting through crow is not exactly a subtle name and stick out like a sore thumb a bit. they feel like ocs so maybe have them have certain traits or a side story that brings out traits in others. It feels like they emphasize that mari tends to be a bit thoughtless when it comes to telling or thinking Adrien or chat needs to know something. not out of malice but out of just it not occurring to her to think about how he would feel or think in the situation or how she'd feel in his shoes.
and the fact that both alya and mai know crow and haven't thought about how chat would feel about another user he hadn't known about and he was kept out of the loop again makes it feel even more like Adrien/chat is being left out of the group nd emphasizes that maybe he isn't wrong on any level. he hadn't known about alya before and only figured it out by putting clues together and alya confiming.
crow just makes mari's treatment of chat look a little worse. maybe if the other power users were separate from their group and wasn't included in the team dynamic right off the bat it would help? like if it was clear crow d such were separate or a temporary or not instantly being part of the group? like when they cross over super heros its best to keep a line that the new person is their own thing instead of exspecting the oc to be instantly accepted.
honestly at this point when Adrien finally confesses who he is to mari is mari gets upset at him on any level I want Adrien to snap and point out all the mixed feelings and things she has messed up and she hasn't thought about how he would feel. girlfriend thing aside mari hasn't been treating him very well as a partner and thinking of his feelings and just as his partner that wwould hurt him but as his girlfriend. even if she hadn't known who he was it would still hurt him.
I always like the situation in the show were mari is too stubborn and acts a certain way ignoring thinking about another persons feelings even with advice and it gets too late and she has to deal with the consequences. its always a good lesson and people often hurt beople they love, not deliberately, but thoughtlessly by not considering how another person would feel o the other persons perspective.
mari whenever she messes up in the show tends not to be openly malicious but because he view f things or her own feelings blinded her to others so this is actually in character.
and thee reminder that mari is oblivious to the problems, smiling all happily at Adrien while we know Adrien has actually been hurt and has mixed feelings toward mari right now is a nice touch. we know Adrien is in love with her, heck he's been in love with her twice over but her actions while not deliberate have caused him to feel muddled even though he loves her.
I like the others saying she seems more into it because she is oblivious to the problems while he is not and I like that it is showing a little bit on the outside.
I laughed at plagg saying stalking his gilfiend is creepy because he at least has a understandable reason to feel mixed and fllow her around even if it is weird and h at least seemed aware he should leave.
butt WE knoew mari was basically stalking Adrien before they started dating. following him around with other girls, sabotaging other girls, she had his schedule and had memorized it and even used it on multiple occasions as well as used it when she had others girls try to help her get that date without asking him. and she had broken into his locker, his phone and even stole his garbage.
tikki can tell plagg a thing or two about stalking charges XD

There is too much information with the oc and getgong thst ontergrated the dynamicmote that is distracts from the already difficult issue pf chat and volphinaand kadybug ans the house. Honrstly if i was adrien , after i confess my identiry i almost feel like i would wantto take a break from her or break yp. She has kept alot. from his chat side. Her orgininal partner without even trying to talk to himabout it and from her bpyfriend. Even more

Honedtly the oc showing up kindlf took ovrr eveything and makes mari look a little worse when it comes to aftorn. Thrte was roo much info for me to understand what was going on easily and considering one of the focuses was adriem and mari and the house and eveythong it feels like the afditipn makes that less important. I am actually REALLY pissed at alya daring tp out adrien to mari as chat. Yes adrien should tell mari but nrither alya pr mari ever considered offering their identities to chat andeft him oit of the loop. So iys actually REALLY pissibf me off thw more i read jt

So, how will it work? Will you delete/replace chapters or make a new revised story on here?

thats brilliant for you

That’s great! I’m really excited for you and I really hope that you’re book does well, if not amazingly!

my dumbass tried to click the image link :p

Okay, I just know that that "ground rules" quote is from somewhere, but I can't for the life of me remember where it's from. This is driving me crazy.

In other news, love your story so far.

I love your story and can't wait for the next chapter... but I am actually kinda concerned...
In the first half of the story, there was this intense romantic tension between Adrien and Marinette... but as you've been adding in new characters, the attention is shifting off of the tension between the two... I honestly miss that romantic tension between the two teens...
I'm gonna say this in a joking voice:
"WHERE IS MY ADRIENETTE? WHERE IS MY MARICHAT?"
Now on a serious note, what happened to the bold possessive Adrien we saw in that one chapter when Nate tried to sit with Mari for the class project? I miss him... I miss seeing Mari so flustered by Adrien's boldness...

Anyways I love your story! Can't wait for more!

ohh i cant wait for more

Recently started reading your story and I must say it's intetesting. Verily so. Quite a unique take on quite a lot of unexpected events while still keeping all the heroes in character. It makes for a very pleasant and entertaining read. I especially enjoyed the Alya/Adrien confrontation in the laat chapter. I always picture Alya whe she defends Marinette as an insanely strong (and downright terryfying) force. And you captured that in the scene perfectly.

I'm generally not a fan of expanding the roster of heroes, especially ones of which we have not a single inkling of from the show, but your story was so good this far that I would do it a disservice by not reading it further simply because of this preference of mine. Still, I hope you'll be very careful with such characters. I would hate if they broke the entire story.

Anyway, you've done increadible job so far and I hope that you will continue to write this piece. I eagerly await the next chapter.

Keep up the good work!

Arlon Delfar

ohhh sooo crow's gay that is even cuter haha but whys he being devious with mari haha loved it

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