Good story, wish you could do another that showed Hal's feelings, his abilities, his deeper friendships through school, his family life with the Bones', where they went to hide and where they went to school. What happened to their friendship circle once brother Jamie died and Hal and Susan left? There is a lot more you could add besides the cliffie about Morty (Voldie) and Dumbles!

Ron wasn't particularly "lanky" as an eleven-year-old. He was short and skinny, like most boys his age. Lanky generally means tall and skinny.

what was the curse word pls tell me so i can use it on people like u author

Wow. Interesting

This book was gorgeous

Just finished this and I rather enjoyed it. It's shorter than the other wbwl stories I have read but just as good. At the end when you didn't elaborate on what Voldemort did after his resurrection I like to imagine that he gave up on being a dark lord after looking back and just going f it and retired to a beach or something to enjoy his immortality.

Good story

Wait, what happened to Voldemort? If he was dead (and Quirrel was an independent agent), why did the Dark Mark darken? Since Slughorn's dead, no one knows about the Horcruxes... Does Hal find out about them some other way? Did Quirrel do something wrong with the Stone and cause a spectacular backfire that sent Riddle back into exile? It's a cliffhanger...

Aside from that, a rather dark final chapter, but a good one. It's the logical endpoint of depraved, decadent WBWL!Potters and a Dumbledore who thought he was beyond consequences until they hit with a vengeance.

Bizarrely, I hope the Malfoys do well for themselves. They've been through a lot of #$%.

"Chlamydia, Crabs, Scabies, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, Herpes, Syphilis and the newest and most deadly and completely untreatable disease known as Human immunodeficiency virus infection/acquired immunodeficiency syndrome a/k/a HIV/AIDS.""
Good heavens, did James & Sirius mistake STDs for Pokemon? 'Gotta catch 'em all!'

"Lily was recovering slowly but surely but he sensed she too would be much more susceptible to his manipulation. It was, after all, about time she was tamed as she had been the one to try to talk sense into James and Sirius and had attempted to raise Jamie much better than James. She had also been hesitant to disown Harry but had been overruled by James, Sirius and Dumbledore – who knew best and his decision was always final."
Tried, tried, tried. I know she had no rights, but she could have done SOMETHING. If she'd tried to secretly keep contact with Harry after he was disowned, I'd think much better of her.

I like that Slughorn was killed by Voldemort... No, I don't mean I WANT him dead, but it makes much more sense for Voldemort to have disposed of the one man who knew his secret.

James sponging off of Sirius - what irony. Also pretty ominous that the Potter elders died "coincidentally" soon after James could get his hands on the money. I wonder why that's not in more manipulative!Dumbledore fics. After all, Charlus and Dorea had their heads screwed on too tightly to give money to a leader of a vigilante organization that doesn't seem too competent at the 'vigilante' part. (Fleamont and Euphemia who?)

...I don't think I've seen WBWL stories where Dumbledore is as murderous toward the OC as he was toward canon!Harry. After all the prior favoritism, that sent a chill down my spine.

I can't believe I've saying this, but poor Malfoys. Glad they're fighting back, at least.

Ugh. This chapter is unpleasant, but realistic for the degeneration of 'charming party-boys' who don't reform. Very bleak, though.

I'd feel much, much sorrier for Lily if she'd stood up for her neglected son. As is, she proved the main difference between her and James & Sirius is that James & Sirius had the power and she didn't. Had she the power, she would have acted very similarly.

"he had already devised a plan to explain that the three had been expelled for something and afraid to return home, fled into the Forbidden Forest and were dead. A search party had found them after they had apparently encountered a nundu."
I feel like this explanation is barely better, since the Forbidden Forest isn't THAT far from the school. What happens if the nundu got bored? How do you miss a NUNDU in the forest within walking range of a gaggle of schoolchildren ranging down to eleven-year-olds?!

...I mean, you could say the same of the local man-eating spider colony, so Dumbledore isn't being IMPLAUSIBLE in his bullshit, but still...

(Really liking this fic, if it's unclear. An interesting spin on the usual WBWL plotline.)

Liked this chapter. Finally, the disproportionate Malfoy influence is used for a GOOD thing.

Again, pretty dark... Chilling to think a Headmaster would shrug off a targeted attack against a House. Honestly, this Dumbledore seems creepier than some manipulative!Dumbledores. At least his horrid actions are for a REASON in manipulative!Dumbledore fics, no matter how rotten or how self-serving. Here? It's just that he doesn't care and regards it all as indulgence of his beloved Gryffindors. Probably more common than active malice in reality, yet just as destructive...

I kinda wonder why you call Harry "Hal" when you made him a Hadrian. If his real name was Henry, yes. But Hal?

...weeeell, that's a dark chapter. Suppose accidental magic never kicks in when it counts.

The fallout's going to be... interesting. I suppose those poor three dead Slytherins will be blamed for the "murder"?

I'm halfway surprised Jaime and Draco aren't the best of friends. They've both got the same personality, after all.

Good to see Harry getting his own life, at least.

The vicious bullying is sadly plausible.

Oof.

"Also, it was a little known fact, that a witch or wizard usually only "loved" one person and if they lost them, they would not marry at all, let alone remarry."
This... oddly makes a lot of sense, given canon.

Poor Harry. Well, at least these highly dissolute Potters & Sirius do seem like the sort of people who would do such things...