Hope to read more soon.

D

A nice enough story, but I can already say: Bruh, enough with the damned dictionary of alien vocabulary. There's a nigh-omnipotent magical translator effect going on, you can't just pick a close term? Especially since most of these words have a direct translation just as quick and precise as the actual term.

There's a difference between spicing it up once in a while with a foreign word to remind the reader of the cultural heritage of the character and just completely losing yourself in making up words. If "Dwinni" means skinny/small/childlike, why can't they just say "scrawny"?

It's like when the Bleach fan translators decided not to translate the Japanese word for "plan" because "Keikaku" sounds cooler. Then they literally put a translator's note underneath saying "Keikaku means plan."

Good to have you back! Thanks for the update!

So glad you’re back. Please update ASAP

Incredibile. Honestly, I don’t see how anyone could dislike this? The idea is not only incredibly unique, the way you write it truly makes it feel like you’re bringing an alien species to life with nonchalantly thrown terminology and customs unknown. It’s a breath of fresh air in comparison to typical OC’s.

And the level of involvement Riana has? Spectacular. You’ve set her up for something exciting and we get to watch as it builds higher and higher to the precipice. The ideas are new. Fascinating. Literally awe inspiring. The fact that you’re steering away from typical approaches and aren’t afraid to make bold moves with her character that shows through the ripples she’s causing to the timeline (ie; involvement in the Time War) is incredibly brilliant. I crave more of this.

She is such a good character? Everyone tries too hard to make their characters perfect. I like Riana because she is relatable. She’s quirky, intelligent, isn’t always right, sometime is impulsive, doesn’t act her best when she’s afraid... and that’s what we need to see! Because it’s inspiring! We can all relate to this on some level and it’s truly, very truly inspiring to see her stand up despite the fact she appears so swept away. Even if her standing up is not out of deliberation but from a push. Life isn’t pretty, but Riana doesn’t appear to be giving up.

As for the writing! The use of vocabulary and overall structure is brilliantly done. However, grammar is a bit iffy here and there. That’s okay, though. A beta could easily fix that and it doesn’t take away from the story because you’re incredibly good at painting vivid imagery, regardless.

I could probably go on and on about what I love, but I’ll spare you and stop here. I hope this gets updated soon, though. I’m certainly craving more chapters after binge reading this beauty.

Thank you for writing such a wonderful story.

Too bad they couldn't save Gynneth. Did you notice that Glory sounds an aweful lot like the gelph? At least the Doctor and Riana made up.
Are you going to do more than one scenario? The Rebel Flesh and Romans. I hope it reveals more about the locket as well as more about Glory's intentions.

She was with him when he burned Gallifrey? That explains his anger amd distrust. However, they must rescue Rose.
This is facinating read.

She now carries the light of that sun. But how will she spread that light? To other suns perhaps.
Another mystery is good.

Unconcious from the beginning. Right now she's just in the way.
Hopefully when they rush to the med center someone remembers to bring Riana along. If she stays out of her body(OOB) she'll learn something useful.

They figured out the star whale. The Doctor got mad at both of them. Resolved as usual.
Much better spelling.

Riana is new and the Doctor sometimes forgets that. Her means of arrival and departure are facinating.
More, more.

Jumping forward to the beginning of Doctor 11's run. I do so enjoy new reactions to known situations.
This is a facinating read.

The Azure Queen hmm. A very Time Lady name. She's still a mystery.
Oh, and watch your spelling

Could Riana be the Master regenerated and hiding as someone else? The Doctor seems to believe they've travelled together for a long time.
Why is the voice in the locket skipping her through time?
I need more information. It seems to be a huge complicated mystery.
More!

I haven't seen a time lord use the chameleon arch to disguise themself as a nonhuman before. She's going to have to run.
Excellent start.