Definitely liked the story. But have you ever thought about doing a sort of series that are sort of alternate endings to some chapters? Like a "Bad End" series where the bad guys win.

Can't wait for chapter 34!

I have one question; why isn't this called Episode 19? That is the format you've been using up to this point.

Also sorry for the obvious screw-ups in this, My phone has been acting glitchy a bit.

Well it's a great story...just with some slight grammar issues, point being using past tense words in place of present tense words (ExDid you already "had" a bath?when it should be (Didn't you already have a bath?) or something that works better (Didn't you already take a bath?)

Not a bad story by any means, just try and use words that stack up in the tense they should be used in. Other than that, a very solid story, and I can see it going far, just throwing my two cents in here, hope this helps.

Warm Regards~ Blue Dragon 77

Ok, um, yeah. This whole thing was an F-up. It was good fanfic, but VERY disturbing. Even for me, a 27 year-old pokemon fanfic guy. But I give it an A for the story. Keep at it GamerKid

Nice story.

This is good but try making your paragraphs and dialogue more separate so people won't get confused. Other than that this is very interesting keep up the good work!