Finally caught up after being gone for so long from reading your fic, amazing work truly, I really did miss it. Can't wait what else you have in stored, btw I noticed you've thrown around the "Super Human" thing around a bit with Videl and few others, crossing my fingers you bring it to fruition at some point it be awesome. Anyways keep up the great work, looking forward to the next chapter.

Okay, caught up yesterday and then went to sleep on it before I made my final review. Also bothered to log in.

As a whole this fic is pretty good. But it's not the kind I would re-read and thus I fear even once you continue updating, I'm not likely to continue reading. I'll probably have forgotten too much by then to get back on the horse, so to speak. Overall, it's a 7/10 imho, peaking at times into a strong 8. But it often also dips into much lower numbers, as you seem to realize.

I think your handle on pacing and tone needs work, since like I've said before I feel like I'm often just being jerked around when there's some kind of buildup or action going. I don't feel like my expectations and effort for reading this behemoth are being rewarded, to speak a bit selfishly. There's only two moments I right now remember as leaving a strong positive impression; Trunks fighting the Androids after Chronoa whisks him away and then Rhuby's tournament fight. I really liked those parts, but at that point I was already balls deep in this fic, at least 0.5 million words in. That's not a very good word-per-hypothetical-unit-of-satisfaction rate, I think. And it's not because you're not setting up interesting relationships or situations, because you absolutely are. If I wasn't interested in seeing "where does this go next", there's no way I would have stuck around so long. It's just that you drop the crescendo by cutting the action, or then you reveal something completely different and pull away the focus, and then I've lost interest.

I dunno exactly what happened with the Frigus sneaking episode, and I can't be arsed to investigate, but I suspect I know why people reacted to it so strongly. You had a theme for the season, which was good, GREAT, but you were being far too subtle with it. A theory(not sure if it's mine :V) about main characters is that they're the vessel for the audience to experience the world. So if your theme was "Trunks now CAN relax and rely on others", then that means Trunks is the main character for that segment. So that means for the readers to experience that theme, you should tell it through HIS eyes. So when you have Trunks go on a leisurely date while to US it appears that appuretian is getting smushed into jam, it creates an indivisible rift. WE are no longer TRUNKS, as our experiences and beliefs are in polar opposition. WE are screaming at Trunks to get his shit together, to go save the day, while CHICHI is the voice of fucking reason. In those chapters, I HATED Trunks, Mai, Gohan and Videl, emphatising so much more with the appuretian, which is CRAZY considering that I can't even remember her(his?) name(or gender!). That's how powerfully my viewpoint and position diverged from your supposed main characters. It was infuriating and completely contradictory with the theme I think you wanted to convey(that Trunks doesn't need to constantly be on guard and ready), so much so that you had to have Bulma just come out and say it afterwards. And while you did wrap it up satisfactorily and I felt a little annoyed at myself for getting so worked up, I also hold you responsible for not setting it up properly. Also, nitpick, but having 16 be the Deus Ex Machina(hah) that handled it was kind of poor, since you'd already played that card with Turles' plotting. I SUPPOSED that he could handle it, but I thought it was too obvious and that you hadn't foreshadowed it, nor had you set up any kind of "oh no, THIS TIME 16 isn't here, what will we do...?" bluff.

Iunno, maybe that wasn't the theme and I missed something. Just how I see it.

Trunks is also very stale and I'm not sure I like him. He's very vague about what he wants, it seems to me. Which is kind of common for your characters; they deliberate a lot but do not seem very decisive. I think it serves you very well in general, as the character interactions are very good and its realistic and "human". But for the main characters, who should be the driving force of the story(in my opinion/preference, at least), it makes them come off as a bit wishy-washy. It's the same as canon Gohan's "I want to be a scholar" bs; wanting a world where he can hang up his sword doesn't REALLY MEAN anything to the readers. I can only really say I like Trunks when he's getting "overwhelmed" by his saiyan instincts, since his intellect plays of nicely with that. The part where he got throw out of time by Chronoa really spoke to me; the determination to go "FUCK YOU I'LL BUILD ANOTHER TIME MACHINE! RRRAAAAARGH SAIYAN IZUNA DROP!" was awesome, but then you kind of walked back on that. Compare him to Bulma, who has a FRACTION of his screentime, yet is absolutely DRIVEN to accomplish everything under the sun. Even when we don't see her, we know she's working hard towards her ambitions and desires. What's Trunks doing? Building some kind of peaceful utopia, I guess? I think? I don't really find his plans for the future very appealing or encouraging.

In that sense, I much prefer Turles even if I'm rooting for him to fuck up and get whacked by someone :V

Which leads me to your OCs. They're what absolutely carry this story. I even looked up your deviantart to check out their appearances. The humans are kinda of weak at first, but the saiyans are a lot better, not just in the sense of being more interesting in isolation but also because they make all of the humans more interesting when they're together. Your—personal interpretation of, I believe—saiyans as a species are(is? I'm regretting that em dash now) also great. I love how driven and "stupid" they honestly are, while also contrasting their differences and WHY Trunks might be right about them(even if I don't agree with his HOW).
The arcosians/frost clan started out much weaker, but some of them grew on me. Eventually. Chillax is kind of bland(occasional chortles aside when I'm confused whether someone is telling someone else to "chillax(, bruh)") but Karuta did grow on me as time went on.

For the technical aspects of writing, I think you need to use more commas to break up your sentences. As a rule, I think you should add a comma between two different names, though can't be bothered to find a good example.
You make a few homophone mistakes, but I can't think of any examples for those either now.
Your relatively recent use of the archaic "frustrate" is also a bit strange, it feels out of place. Are the Kais talking using deliberately old terms? It doesn't feel like it in general.
A handful of times a sentence got cut off completely in the middle, leaving a hole in the dialogue.

So overall, this fic is just an absolute anomaly. You're an utter mad lad for writing something expansive, so my highest commendations for that. Good job, you've accomplished even with just this something only a handful of people can lay claim to.

Cheers.

Continued really strong from last chapter, with interesting implications for the future, but then the tournament stuff kinda petered it out.

This was a good chapter. SS2 was kind of meh, but Trunks using the buff form was really good.

God, your biggest issue as a writer is your complete and total tone-deafness and blindness to pacing.

It's pretty much universal in the fic, but this really takes the cake. You build up and hype the tournament so much, but then you throw in the Supreme Kais as a curveball! To achieve what? Why would the readers care about the tournament anymore, when you have something so much bigger going on with Trunks and the Kais? You've effectively wasted all that build up now. You've got the tournament with great build up but zero weight, and then the Kais fucking around with effectively zero build up but all the weight.

It feels like every time you're about to hit a high in the story, you do SOMETHING and then it just crashes back to okay. It feels like you're just jerking the reader around, almost like you're addicted to cliffhangers and think that's good story-telling, stringing the reader along with no payoffs. Fuck, I'm enjoying the story for the relative competence and good overall level, but there hasn't been a single fucking climax. Just disappointing crescendos and a couple of low points.

Like, it WORKS when you're doing slice of life and romcom and stuff with your OCs. That stuff is GOOD. Really good. But for the main meat portion of the story? The conflict and fighting? You're just frustrating me. It's like you're edging me every time but then let go; if you're gonna jerk me around at least jerk me off properly!

The main character is the one who is either the most consistent POV or the driving factor behind the events. Trunks is neither. I honestly prefer most of your OCs over Trunks, since I get to see him so rarely and he doesn't really do anything. And when he does, it's not even that interesting. I had at one point while reading thought "well at least Trunks must be training and getting stronger off-screen, right?" only for it to turn out that he pretty much wasn't. What IS he doing all the damn time, anyhow? It kinda feels like he's on stasis whenever he's not being lectured or needed for romcom. At least Bulma and Turles, when they get POV scenes, are doing interesting things and pushing the plot forward, even if I don't necessarily like either.

Given that I looked this story up as a Future Trunks story, I'm a bit disappointed I'm actually still mainly reading it for the OCs. So, uh, good job on that account?

And Mai is just boring, but she's that in canon as well so I honestly don't expect much from you in that regard. The ship tag was one of the hurdles I had before I even read the first chapter, tbh.

thank fuck for 16

this chapter is a complete fuck up in terms of pacing and only serves to make me hate the characters for keeping me from the actually interesting parts. more than that their sheer idiocy is making me froth at the mouth.

Goddamn politicians. I find it very unlikely that the King was still alive. A decade of the Androids fucking around and destroying anything piquing their fancy should have led to them killing him, or even if theyd didn't, with any and all authority the King could have possibly laid claim to being eradicated by his inability to accomplish anything against the Androids, there's no way he could still hold power. And more importantly; he doesn't deserve to. What the fuck has the King and his royal army ever accomplished in DB? And they're worried about Trunks' skills becoming commonplace? Well fuck that worry, EVERYONE on Earth should at least known how to fly and sense ki.

Of course, that was if things were halfway realistic in DB and it wasn't a gag manga. But still I find the King's appearance here quite aggravating as you're doing a great job of building something realer here.

Hey JFalcon, just caught up with this epic tale!
And I love it a lot, I must say.

I love what you did in this tale. I mean, the premise is great, giving Trunks his own allies, just like Goku has. It was a fantastic idea. your development of the new cast was excellent, not only the humans but the Sayans as well. I find Rhuby and Cauliflora immensely endearing. Also, the Iwatians' tale.

I find it hilarious how Sayans love Rhyce! She is the most Sayan of Earthlings, in a way.

By the way, I rather enjoyed seeing Planet Vegeta, althrough I think giving those sayans their "modern" power levels was a bit strange. I mean, King Vegeta was 10.000 combat power before his death. It would make no sense for that to be his level while young, due to Zenkais during the war, and possibly when taking worlds for Freeza.

And Cauli is still in the dark about Future!Rhuby...

Idea: Why not resurrect Future!Rhuby? That cat is already out of the bag. Should't Brassica desire it?

I rather like your writing of Trunks. It is interesting that Trunks' dillemas are generally not physical but moral and ethical. Trunks knows he has the superiority in might but that's not what he wants, Trunks wants to create a real lasting peace. A goal to aspire to, one must say.

I like how such resourceful enemies the Arcosians are - or were. They knew they were fighting a enemy that is vastly superior to their power, so they did all they could to rig the odds in their favour. Now that's my kind of villain, not just the usual DBZ beefgate who just gets by on "My numbers are bigger than yours." The Twins were threats in their own ways.

I was actually surprised Tathy was a majin. By the description and the art, she seemed more like a reference to the Asari. And here comes the half-plant/half-majin people! Is the dark blue color supposed to recall Transformed Evil Android 21?

I rather enjoy what you did with the Tree of Might and how you made it such an important plot point.

Looks like we're about to uncover the secrets of Fargo!

One thing I meant to ask: Will the Iwatians ever be mass-resurrected? Poor Konpeito deserves to have his own race back.

"Vegeta flexed his muscles" I don't think his muscles were the only thing he was flexing at that moment.

By the way, I wonder what you are going to do with the Earthling fighters. I'm kinda afraid of them ending up insignificant just like the canon Earthling fighters. Also, the whole issue of having all those superpowered Sayans around, especially the ones who think like Turles. Then again, there is The Tree...

And there's Android 21. Very curious to see how she turns out. Canon Android 21 was based on Majin Boo, yet here she is. She seems to know a lot of things she should't. Time traveller? Did Gero's supercomputer base on Tathy instead?

Android 13 about 'ta get into action! Well that Babidi fellow plum done gone dadgum did it NOW, SON! GO, ROBOT TRUCKER, GO!

It's been too long. I love this story.
I wonder if we will see a good Super 13.

Yay an update!

Again I Hope i put emphasis on mastery and efficiency.

In The Manga aka Canon Trunks And Vegeta Never Used SS Grade 2 Forms.. They Were Normal Super Saiyans.

They Were Normals Super Saiyans In Cell Saga In Manga. Meaning they held her own against the cell Juniors without The Grade Form.. this proves that they have some mastery of The Super Saiyan in The Cell Game in The Manga.

The Anime is Not Canon.. Even The Kai Addition because there Still To Many Differences That Was Never Edited Out To Fully Copy The Manga

Trunk Should already mastered the Super Saiyan transformation and not Need Grade Forms. Toriyama himself even stated that Super Saiyan 2 and Super Saiyan 3 are Not True ascension's beyond SS1. They Are Simply Powered Up Versions Of SS1. ..well More Like Advanced Power Up Versions Of SS1.

Here is Idea.. You Can come Up With New Transformation.. But as Result Of Mastery.. Not Just Powering Up.

Super Saiyan Full Power: x50 SS1 But Without Drain and Fatigue... Again in Canon It is Not Mastered Super Saiyam Form. It it's officially called Super Saiyan full power because it allows a Super Saiyan To Fight as officially as they were in base form.

Hypothetical Mastered Super Saiyan: Through perfect Ki control and little to no leakage of Ki.. A Saiyan will Harness The Level of Power They Would Have in Their Grade 3 Form without The Drawbacks. It was stated in the Spanish guide that Super Saiyan grade 3 is 10 times stronger than the regular Super Saiyan form.. Therefore Grade 3 Is Stronger Then SS3.. But is Even more Flawed then SS3 due To Speed penalty. The. Form Multiplier is x500 but without drawbacks

Hypothetical Super Saiyan Limit Breaker: The Normal Ki Variant Of Super Saiyan Blue Evolution. The Result of A Mastered Super Saiyan Breaking Their Limits.. It Has multiplier of x1000.. But with added Bonus.. because it's a limit breaking form The User of The form Could get Stronger in battle when Faced with Oppenent That is Stronger then Them... Emotion and Drive is Factor.. for example it's like How Super Saiyan Blue Evolution Vegeta was Able To Gain The Power to Combat God of Destruction Toppo.. Keep in Mind Toppo was So Powerful That It Took The Final explosion to Barely Defeat Him

Super Saiyan Grade Forms including SS2 and SS3 are Completly obsolete after Mastering Super Saiyan

That's a twist. The turles slow burn maybe-betrayal makes for good reading

Great chapter! BASS is such a bad ass!

Reference of the day is :

You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means," Turles said shaking his head,

That line is from the princess bride

So happy you're updating regularly again man